OH my GAWH! This was the perfect thread to come across tonight (or early this morning, actually). I'm not trying to get comfort from anyone's pain, believe me, but I can TOTALLY relate. I fell down some stairs a while ago and it killed my back, but I had to do everything I could to get up because there was no way the 3 people staring at me could do a thing to help me up. At least if they did, it would take all 3 of them and I wouldn't have dared allowed that to happen. I literally limped away crying saying all the while through a fake smile, "I'm alright. I'm fine, really." I was in horrible pain and probably should have gone to the ER, but wouldn't be seen at my current weight being poked and prodded. I eventually did have to go to the doctor and receive shots in my spine for nerve damage pain. Ugh! We should never get to the point in life when our embarrassment overrides our health needs! But, then again, I guess our need for food overrides our health needs all the time which leads to the trouble we're in! Oh my!

Anyway, all that being said, I'm here to lend support and let you know that I know how you feel, too! I weighed myself tonight after 2 weeks of honestly trying to eat better and exercise (except for 3 slip ups; I know that's a lot) and nothing has budged. I was depressed so I came online and found your story. I hope that you feel better soon and have good luck on your journey to a healthier you!

Thanks for all the words of support guys - I really really needed it. When I went back to work last night, someone actually said "My goodness! Where did all of you go!? You look like you have really lost weight!" -- It made me feel a lot better.

As much as I am sorry to read people's stories about being psychologically effected by our weight - I'm glad to see that I am far from alone in this. The internal monologue is daunting when it comes to that kind of thing. I worry that these feelings will never go away...

I share a lot of the other fears people have... I have a fear of passing out and having to have other people need to find a way to get me off the floor. I fear being hospitalized and being the patient that people complain about having to take care of because their back hurts from moving that person all day. I worry about someone THINKING i'm lighter than i am, trying to pick me up or something and dropping me or hurting themselves! Goodness - I even worry about walking into the wind because I dont like my shirt pressing against my belly fat!!!

I think I am also more worried about what other people are saying or thinking about my weight because I know I pay a lot of attention to how other people look. Its never really negative though - I notice how skinnier women look because I'm envious, so I sort of assume people pay the same kind of attention to me, only with a negative spin.

@Renstwin - No, the patient did not make it. We worked it for just shy of 1 hour but never got a pulse back. Bummer.

I completely know how you feel! Of course, not in that exact situation, but I know how that creep of humiliation, feeling like everyone is staring at you for all the wrong reasons, feeling like every extra ounce is a million pounds and in everyone's face and way.

Looking back, it's rather ridiculous and funny, but when I first started dating my sons father, I was really self conscious about my weight. I was not at my high weight, but was probably a size 14 or so and not pleased about it. For one of our first dates, he took me bowling. I was SO self conscious and aware of my weight that every time it was my turn, I would make him walk up there with me so that he wouldn't be looking at my body and sizing me up while I was bowling!!! HOW SILLY IS THAT?! (I know that's not really as serious as your situation, but just so you know that I've been there.)

Chin up. You are quite obviously doing wonderful things with yourself and your life and moving in a good direction with your weight. And we ARE in fact our own worse critics.

Gonnaturnheads- Yeah that is a bummer!

I hope you are having a better day. We are our own toughest critic, and no one will judge you as harshly as you judge yourself.:)

Just reading this makes me wanna cry and little and give you a gigantic hug!

We are almost always SO much harder on ourselves than others are on us.

I would bet that not a single person in that room even gave a millisecond of thought to your weight, but that isnt what matters here.

How you feel in your skin is what matters, and I hope that in time you feel more confident as you feel more and more empowered by your progress.