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Old 09-20-2010, 10:17 AM   #1  
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Default What do you say?!?

Just wondering how those that have lost a good amount of weight but still have alot to go, handle compliments. I mean I know you can always just say thankyou and move on but I always find myself saying "Oh thankyou but I still have a long way to go". I guess I just sorta get embarassed when i know I am still atleast 60 pounds overweight! Plus it seems like two weeks ago no one even noticed and now two weeks later and only 5 pounds less, they act like I just took off 65 pounds overnight. i am bad with compliments in general but I was just wodnering how people handle them??
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Old 09-20-2010, 10:22 AM   #2  
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I know exactly what you mean! I react much like you do, "Thank you but I still have so much to lose." Then they often deny it. I just have to laugh at that.

I am reminding myself to just accept compliments and not discredit what I have accomplished by denigrating myself.
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Old 09-20-2010, 11:30 AM   #3  
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I completely understand what you are saying, and for me it wasnīt/isnīt only a matter of still have a lot to loose, but also I never feel confortable with compliments, even if I feel they are just. They always made me unconfortable.

With time, what I realized is that itīs a lot easier for me and the one complimenting to just acknowledge by saying thank you.

Regarding your other comment, that happens to me too... I noticed that every few pounds my body changes, so I could be sheding the pounds for an entire month, and no one notice, and then suddenly in a week, my clothes are looser and people are noticing... the good thing is that when it finally happens, it feels awesome!
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Old 09-20-2010, 11:41 AM   #4  
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I understand not wanting weight loss to be the focus of attention. What works for me is to simply say, 'Thank you' and then find something to say nice in return. For example, I might compliment their earrings, outfit, the work they did for the PTA book sale, how lovely their yard looks, etc. Then we move on and have a regular, normal conversation.
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Old 09-20-2010, 12:24 PM   #5  
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Honestly, I have found "Thank you" is sufficient and best. Adding "But I still have a ways to go" opens up uncomfortable territory. The person then feels they need to add that you look great and couldn't possibly have to more to lose or worse, they want to know HOW MUCH more you have to go.

I just always said "thank you" and if more needed to be said I'd say "I feel great."
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Old 09-20-2010, 01:31 PM   #6  
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I just say Thankyou.
If anyone asks how I've done it, I tell them (boil it down to "eat less, move more" unless anyone really wants details) but then I move on.
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:17 PM   #7  
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I agree with Eliana. The whole "thanks, but I still have more" has brought up a lot of uncomfortable conversations. I find it easier to just say "thanks! its been a lot of effort, but worth it"...and then, the next conversation is about healthy eating. That one causes people's eyes to glaze over quickly, so its a shorter conversation
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Old 09-20-2010, 05:27 PM   #8  
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Oh the compliments. Yeah, they were kinda new for me.

I too didn't know how to just say thank you. When I still had a bunch to go, I said something like, "thank you, I'm not quite there yet." Then I used, "thank you, it was a long time in coming".. Then I went I got to goal it became, "thank you, I FEEL good" (which I still use) that kind of took it away from looks, which I am obviously still very uncomfortable discussing.

And yes, there does come a point, where people just can't help but notice AND say something about it. Apparently - you're reached that point.

Keep up the great work. You can't imagine the compliments that are in store for you. And that just barely skims the surface in the reward category.
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Old 09-20-2010, 06:13 PM   #9  
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I got a compliment after changing my hair colour today. I tried with 'thank you' but she just kept on going on and on and on about how much better it was and how I must be so happy and really gushing, I felt so uncomfortable, she finally stopped after I said thank you about seven times and I just wanted to hide.
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Old 09-20-2010, 11:22 PM   #10  
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I've moved recently and it's very weird. Obviously the compliments have stopped and people just see me as what I am now.
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Old 09-20-2010, 11:51 PM   #11  
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I always stick with a THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR NOTICING! pffft i don't care HOW much more I/we have to lose, they're complimenting on what we've done so FAR

I'm a complete HAM so I dig it
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Old 09-21-2010, 10:55 AM   #12  
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I agree with several others, just a thank you and something positive is great.

Thank you, I feel great. Thank you, it's so nice when someone notices. Thank you, it's been tough, but worth it. Etc... Of course, just thank you and a smile works too.
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Old 09-21-2010, 02:23 PM   #13  
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It happened to me this past weekend and I just said: "thank you, lots of working out and counting calories". The other person said "good for you".

End conversation - me with a big smile on my face!

Woohooo! felt good!
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Old 09-21-2010, 03:18 PM   #14  
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I'm really weird with the compliments, but I guess it is the norm judging from a good many of these responses. I say "thanks, I'm getting there". It feels weird to me when people mention how "skinny" I have gotten when I look in the mirror and see the floppy belly and huge thighs and know I am wearing 14/16s when I really want to be in an 8.

There is a lot of great advice here, which I think I will take. From here out, I am just going with "thanks!" and leave it at that.

Conversely, there is a woman who works in my building that, when she saw me last, made a really sad/angry/scrunched up face and when I asked her "what?" (she totally offended me with that face) she said "You are getting so thin" and I said "yeah, and why would you make that face for that? Why aren't you happy for me?" and her response was "it's good for you, but bad for me". So, I guess the backwards compliments that aren't compliments at all I have good responses to. Some tackyass people I swear...
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