3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   A Plea for Help (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/212184-plea-help.html)

Judy Lynn 09-11-2010 11:02 AM

A Plea for Help
I could really use some help here. I have been really faltering lately. I just can't get my mind back in the game. A while back I posted my 50 pounds lost celebration, and since then I have gained 7 pounds. I weighed in at 231 this morning. :( I feel awful. I have been on a feeding frenzy of gigantic proportions. I don't know what is wrong with me, but I need some help, words of wisdom, kick in the butt or whatever to get this thing reversed and get back on track. I don't want to keep going and gain back everything I have worked so hard to lose. I am a mess and I feel very fat and awful today.

I started the Jingle Challenge with the hope that it would get me back in the losing mindset (I did great on it last year), but so far all I have done is gain. I don't even feel like updating my weight (but I will because I committed to it).

Please, please, please, if anyone has any advice I am all ears. I am sitting here with a big lump in my throat after having typed all this out. Just feeling sorry for myself I guess.

sept15lija 09-11-2010 11:26 AM

All I can tell you is what helps me during these times. I do a TON of self talk about why I want to lose weight and how the food is not worth it and what my goals are (usually goals like wearing smaller sizes, shopping in all the stores, running around more with my kids, etc etc). Think about how different you feel having lost all this weight and how much better you will feel with even more gone. You need to get your mindset back on track - this is such a mental battle! You can do this, we are all here for you - and don't wait until tomorrow, start making great decisions right now! :carrot:

time2lose 09-11-2010 12:02 PM

I don't know if I should offer advise because I am fighting a similar battle. Here is my strategy. I am reminding myself how miserable I was when I was at my highest because I know that I can get back there, one bite at a time. Every time I want to eat over my calorie limit, I ask myself if I want to go back to the life I had then.

Get rid of the temptations. Make sure that you have plenty of good food around. Plan, plan, plan.

I am wearing my tightest clothes.

My worse time is at night so I just got a teeth whitening kit. When the desire for late night munchies come on me, I am brushing, flossing, and using the whitening kit. This worked for me in Jan. when I went through a similiar stage and it has helped the last two nights too.

Of course, spend time here.

I hope some of this helps. Hang in there!!!

Lori Bell 09-11-2010 12:18 PM

There is that old saying, "God helps those who help themselves". I guess it's doesn't mean much if you are a non-believer, but to me, it speaks volumes.

No one, no body, no "thing" can help you until you have decided that your health...your body, your temple, is worth the effort. You have to make it happen. You have to do it. You have all the power here. Nothing any of us can say will make you put down the food until you decide you are worth it.

I hope that soon, you realize that you are.

FreeSpirit 09-11-2010 12:43 PM

How much are you trying to restrict your calories too? Are you trying to do too much at one time?

Start slow, don't push yourself to drop your calories too low, I lost at around 1800 calories a day at your weight.

althepirate 09-11-2010 01:19 PM

What got me through and back on the band wagon [after quite some time feeling REALLY depressingly sorry for myself] was making a list one day. I listed everything about my body I wanted to change and why, listed all the people who would be proud of me and all the people I wanted to make jealous, listed all the health benefits to losing weight, and most of all, I listed what losing weight would mean to ME. It really did the trick.

Best of luck. Once you get yourself in the right mindset, nothing can hold you back :)

toastedsmoke 09-11-2010 01:51 PM

I agree with everyone here who has posted. It is definitely true that no one can magically make you dedicated again, no matter what they say, and that it has to come from you.

I for example have failed so many times and lost motivation soooo many times and often by the time many of us have our "OMG what am i doing?" moment, we've already gained back all the weight and sometimes more. It's good that you've already realized that things are getting out of control before it's gotten really bad. That's like a baby step in the right direction. Unfortunately, like I'm sure you know, it's not always enough to know what you should be doing. Doing it is the actual hard part.

I know it's hard and I think every 3fchick knows how hard it is to stay motivated and find motivation and not give up and do what you have to consistently. I don't know what anyone can say to help and to help you find that because having been there before I know you know all the things that everyone will say already and know what you should be doing even if its hard to make yourself do them. It's like a "the spirit is willing but the body is weak" situation.

But what may help is like take it like an addict who's falling off the wagon, y'know. Staying on plan one minute at a time, and then one hour at a time, and then one meal at a time and then one day at a time. Whether or not you feel like it. Forget that its a weight loss program. Exercise because you have to (not because you want to), and try not to go crazy on food again not because of weight but for your life because of health.

Or another option could be maybe to try maintaining for a while at your current weight loss till motivation comes again (and it will, it always does! No matter how many times you give up and say I'm done, motivation always comes back). At least if you maintain (whilst keeping up the exercise), when you re-find your motivation again, you don't have to start from scratch, PLUS, it will be practice for when you finally get to goal and have to live a maintenance lifestyle permanently.

I hope this helps a bit. And hugs. And I pray you find your motivation and strength to continue what you started because you've already done so well!

Lori Bell 09-11-2010 02:17 PM

Awesome Post Toastedsmoke. I think you hit the nail on the head when you talked about going into maintaince.

If the motivation to lose isn't there Judy, at least keep off what you already lost, because that is our ultimate goal right? To maintain our loses. When I made the decision to do this, I didn't have a "number goal" even in mind. My one and only goal, (besides staying alive) was to keep off ANY amount I was able to lose...be it 10, 50 or 150. My goal was to maintain. I think that is one of the reasons I stayed "motivated" during the losing stage, because I was really looking forward to this thing call maintaince that I had NEVER achieved before.

rockinrobin 09-11-2010 03:19 PM

But do keep in mind, maintaining weight involves lots of work as well. Lots of it.

You obviuosly want this (at least to some degree) or you wouldbn't be reaching out for help.

Until that powerful "I'm going to do this no matter what attitude comes back", why not rely on the good habits that you know of? For me, that means:

Plan, plan and than plan some more.

Map out your food schedule in advance. Have the right foods on hand - the wrong ones gone. Know where every meal and snack is coming from ahead of time. No exceptions. Take foods with you when you venture out. No matter what.

Also plan in activities to keep you busy. A puzzle, writing, reading, walking, talking, sewing, cleaning, organizing, errands, whatever..

Also - you write it before you bite it. You write it before you bite it. You write it before you bite. No exceptions.

Reward system. Give yourself a reward for staying on plan 24 hours. A new lipstick. Another 24 hours - a new scarf. Etc. Make a game of it.

Give yourself one perfectly on plan day. Repeat. Before you know it you will be stringing them together back to back. Could just be the start of something big.. Remember, good eating begets more good eating. It's a wonderful cycle.

MAKE things happen. Don't wait around for them to happen to you. Go out there and take that feeling back, don't wait around for it to fall into your lap - it may never happen.


boots 09-11-2010 04:36 PM


Originally Posted by Lori Bell (Post 3476332)
There is that old saying, "God helps those who help themselves". I guess it's doesn't mean much if you are a non-believer, but to me, it speaks volumes.

No one, no body, no "thing" can help you until you have decided that your health...your body, your temple, is worth the effort. You have to make it happen. You have to do it. You have all the power here. Nothing any of us can say will make you put down the food until you decide you are worth it.

I hope that soon, you realize that you are.

Love this. You put it so straightforward and easy to understand! I know this wasn't my thread, but I'm totally ninja-ing this post for my personal rhetoric when I get discouraged!

LiannaKole 09-11-2010 04:45 PM

One thing you might want to check out is what/how much you're eating every day. I know I have problems when I eat less than what makes me feel full. For that reason, I switched to a healthier eating plan and so can eat a lot. Also, I make sure to treat myself once in a while (have a sandwich with white bread and beef - delicious!), and that helps me to not go overboard with bad foods.

Also, try to keep the unhealthy foods away from you. Out of sight, out of mind really does apply.

Good luck! You can do it!

Judy Lynn 09-14-2010 11:05 PM

I want to thank you all from the bottom of my heart. I have been doing a lot better the past couple of days, and I think I may have this turned around.

Again, thanks. :hug:

sept15lija 09-15-2010 09:20 AM

YAY Judy!!! Awesome! :hug:

Thighs Be Gone 09-15-2010 09:23 AM

Go Judy Lynn! I am so glad you are turning this around. There is some good advice here.

I also find that when I exercise regularly get myself all "done up" each morning I tend to eat more on plan. So, that's my tip! :)

Lyn2007 09-15-2010 11:14 AM

I have had lots of times like that. What got me through is doing it even though I didn't feel like it, or even WANT to some days. If I could muster the strength to just DO IT one day at a time I did, and eventually you have more days on than off and you WANT to do it. The key is not to give up. Don't stop weighing, or coming here, or paying attention to what you eat even if you are off plan. Hang in there!

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