It is, isn't it? You really do befriend people over the internet. You develop a connection. And it's weird...in the real world, I connect better with men. On the internet, I connect better with women.

I am still around and log in--although not nearly with the frequency I once did. I owe so much to 3FC. I hope I have given back *some* of what was given to me. Before joining 3FC, I had lost about 20 pounds. After joining 3FC, I really ramped up the loss--began exercising, became very strict on my calories and commitment to a whole foods lifestyle.

I blogged here for hours every morning when I was in the trenches of my weightloss. My rountine was to run every morning, come home and get my kids off to school, hubby to work and then I would hit 3FC. I am still VERY interested in weightloss and exercise and still read plenty on the subject.

I have regained 7 pounds over the summer. I am not AT ALL surprised. I way cut back on my running and had way too much alcohol. LOL--we bought a house with a pool and somehow, the pool and alcohol go REALLY well together. I would really like to get these pounds off though.

I agree with the sense of community here and people going "poof." It's hard when that happens.

I don't visit as much I as used too either. I am at my boyfriend's currently and with this brings other challenges. I find myself cleaning, reading, going out for walks here more, and of course there's our together time. I find I do better eating here than I do at "home", because my parents constantly have junkfood around, and desserts galore.
I've been making a habit of visiting and reading every day for the last few days, though I don't always post. I need to do that more.

Completely true for me as well...completely. I do have a few great friends--where DRAMA has never, ever been a factor. In general though, I find women to be catty, pure and simple.

I've been around but school has started, busy time with my business, both boys in football, etc has slowly taken over my free time! Ugh, :lol:

Been logging on and reading a lot....I keep losing and gaining the same 10 pounds over and over again. It's driving me nuts!

Same here! I got down a low weight of 200.6 and then I gained a bit back getting out of my routine (had friends visiting and went to NY). I'm still not back into new territory and I'm back at 203.8 today. The real goal is 190 now!

Did you change your goal then? You are just doing an absolutely fantastic job, Matt! Visiting someone and gaining weight have got to be rough on the psyche.

I've been popping in and out for a long time. Yeah, a lot of people disappear only to come back later having regained some pounds. But after all, this is a weight loss site.

However, it's also a weight maintenance site, and many folks pop in over in Living Maintenance from time to time. Still, there are not all that many maintainers posting from week to week.

The thing is, it's all new at first. After awhile, though, you really have heard about everything anyone can say about weight issues. You have seen a hundred questions about how much water to drink, and why the scale goes up and down, and why someone is stalled, and confessions about eating fast food or bingeing, and stories of lack of support from the partner or family, and posts from members who have decided after a decade or two of no significant exercise to suddenly take up running, and injury stories from those same posters, and posts by people you think probably have eating disorders, etc. etc.

It's a great site for focusing on weight loss, but eventually, people's focus shifts. It's now three years since I reached my goal weight. I've slowly regained in the past two of those three years. It's not for lack of trying, but I think I'm up against the law of diminishing returns. What used to work so well isn't as effective now. And I'm not finding a lot of inspiration here, after all this time. That's just speaking for myself.

I do like certain individuals whom I've met here, but we don't really stay in touch outside of posting here. That's kind of a harder thing to do, and not everyone here wants to make lifelong friends online...

So, enough of my rambling thoughts. I guess the point is, people change and move on, and that's not necessarily a bad thing! It's just how life is. You can always send someone a PM if you wonder where they've gone.

Jay

I just changed the goal in my signature. :)

I think 190 would be a good weight for me as a long term goal.

JayEll wrote: I think I hit this stage about a month ago. I think of it as my misanthropic stage: Skimming the new posts, feeling like I'd seen a lot of them before, and sometimes even believing they'd been bumped out of retirement -- but no, it was just a flock of 3FC Freshmen, asking the same questions.

Maybe we need a Trying to Get the Feeling Again forum, dedicated to the jaded & the forum-weary. It will include a challenge: To stump the regulars by asking a completely new exercise or diet question. If you manage it, you get a prize.

The fifty-millionth post asking about how to drink all of one's required water in a single day isn't what keeps me posting here.

What I love is someone asking whether anyone else has achieved orgasm spontaneously during spin class. Or posting a drawing about how to shave one's armpits. Or calling barbeque "candied meat." (That was you, Jay. Loved it.) Or being brave enough to share pictures of a post-weight-loss stomach. I could go on ... but there's an enormous amount of candor & curiosity here that I really enjoy. When I want fat empathy or former-fat empathy, I can't get it so much in real life. People just aren't that trusting or open to pouring out their insecurities. (Actually, if they did, real life would be really embarrassing & wouldn't function very well.)

For one part of my life, this place is essential. For the other seven-eighths, not so much as it was maybe a year ago.

When life gets particularly busy or stressful, I stop coming. Sometimes it accompanies major weight gain, sometimes not. I posted a lot over the summer even though I was majorly struggling with a destructive home life and indulging in mucho stress eating. Now that school has started again and I am doing all my senior work, that is my main focus at the moment. But I also don't post enough to be a major disappearance.

I haven't been around much either, the usual "busy" reasons like everyone else. I'm very happy to report I have not GAINED anything back, even dropped a bit more. Still hyper vigilant tho, gotta keep my eyes open for any mind-shifts and old habits popping back up. So far I've managed to stay away from anything negative, which is a huge bonus.

I guess I've also stayed away lately because I do feel like an outsider on here at times. My opinions don't seem to be the norm, I'm usually on the fringe. I've never felt that "weight" defines a person, whether that weight is high or low. I can never understand how people think they're "good or bad" because of how much they weigh?? I've always felt that self-esteem is the most important thing, not weight. That life is for being happy and making others around you happy. NOT loving oneself does no one any good, IMO. I hate reading posts where women (always seems to be women) say they're horrible, fat lazy gross, don't deserve this or that. that they'll BE HAPPY when they're thin. I would get upset by it and then realize it's not my place to interfere, people are going to do what they like, that it hasn't got anything to do with me. So I just keep on keepin' on, helping people along the way that ask for it (ps thanks for all the PMS, so nice!!!) in some small way if I can :)

I love to check in and see familiar faces doing well, and read what everyone has to say. I tend not to post too much anymore for reasons above, I don't fit the mold I don't think LOL but I like reading very much!

You ARE on the fringe, but are not an outsider. ;) You're right that your opinion is not the norm, and I think that's why you're a valuable member here. You shake us up a bit! In my opinion, we should all try to have that outlook, but the reality is most of us don't. I'm really bad about judging myself based on my weight, though I would NEVER do that to someone else. A lot of us are that way and it's terrible. And it's true that happiness does not emerge with thinness.

In a nutshell, your views on those matters in particular are a highly valuable read!

I used to post here at 3FC a LOT, back when I first joined. That was a long time ago. But after I lost most of the weight I wanted to lose, I drifted away.

No, I didn't regain the lost weight. In fact, I'm doing very well.

I come here occasionally now. I post very rarely, if at all. The individuals I knew back in the early 2000s are no longer posting. I wish them well. I really do.

I'm only halfway to goal and I already feel the "read that already. Five times last month..." deja vu the long time maintainers mention here.

I hope, despite burn-out, they still check in periodically. So many newbies here post once or twice and then disappear. Plus the perpetual "today is the day!" folks. But all of us were new once an dmost of us had at least one false start - for me, seeing the long term maintainers in the 100 Club made a HUGE difference. Hearing these experienced people repeat the "eat less, exercise more, track track track!" manta was very important to me. I wouldn't be where I am right now without the very folks who probably least need the site now.

For the sake of others who have yet to finally "get it" I hope the experienced people don't disappear entirely. Each encouraging post might just be the one that makes all the difference in the life of another fat chick.