I'm so sorry that you are feeling overwhelmed. I know exactly how you feel. Sometimes it seems almost "magical" that we somehow summoned the strength and perseverance that had always been lacking before and found a way to come this far....
I think we're like athletes who get on an amazing winning streak and get so superstitious that they have to keep eating the same thing for breakfast and wearing the same shirt that they refuse to launder, etc.
It feels like the success is sort of "miraculous" and since we have no idea "exactly" why the strength to succeed finally came to us, we also feel like it could be taken away at a whim.
Heck, I've been eating the same thing for breakfast every single day since June 19, 2009. In fact, on the rare occasions that I sleep through breakfast, I actually wait and eat my bread and peanut butter for lunch. It's pure superstition.
So, I GET that you are really worried about breaking your routine. The routine is working. And now the routine is threatened, and you are terrified....
So, to reassure you, I can tell you that for the last month, I've been completely off my routine, in fact, I'm not even home. I was worried about it too. Away from my gym, away from my fridge and my store and everything that helps me stay on plan.
I've had to switch to running outside, which sucks because it's bloody hot where I am and even if I wait until 9 at night the humidity almost kills me.
I live on fish at home and I can't get any decent fish where I am.
And I am alone-- traditionally that's the time when I make a beeline for the biggest bag of candy in the universe.
And you know what? I'm down seven lbs this month. I've been at this just over a year and I've discovered that my habits are adaptable and I CAN run outside and I don't have to eat fish, and most importantly, I no longer use being alone/lonely/in an unfamiliar place/ to binge my head off.
It is not some combination of lucky factors that has helped you lose 105 lbs. It is your determination, your fitness, and your food plan, and those are all portable.
You can DEFINITELY survive this, and not only survive it but hey, HAVE FUN!!! This is your first vacation as a thin healthy happy person.
Nobody can take that away from you.