LOL! I guess I do sound a bit ludicrous. I am definitely in a happy place. I am now the same size I was when I got married. How many women can say that? I am headed back toward my college size of 8. I finally match that image of myself that I have in my head and I'm not even done. And I'm far happier NOW at this size than I was THEN for having been where I've been. I'm no longer embarrassed. I no longer want to wear a sign on my forehead that reads "THIS IS NOT ME". People who "knew me when" would not fall over backwards to see me now and I can only imagine what people who have only known me fat think I look like. I don't care! I spent half my adulthood body fat (25-35). I worded it that way because someone very wise in another thread today pointed out that some of us mature into more womanly and NORMAL bodies before our waify little friends do and we grow up thinking we are fat just because we aren't shaped like pencils. My goodness, I look around now and see the tiniest little people of 13, 14, 15 and it's true! My niece is 12 years old, she'll be entering 7th grade, she weighs 79 pounds and has not yet matured in any way, physically. I was wearing a bra in the freaking second grade!! I was 5'4" (short, I know) in a family where the men barely reach 5'4" and the women are all below 5'0". And I reached that height by the fourth grade. I was the amazon woman. My mom dressed me all in black one Easter, head to foot black from shoes to hose to dress to headband, because it was slimming. My petite little cousins, the same age as me, wore pastels. I have the picture. My brother's in a white suit. Out of 12 of us, there I am, dressed for a funeral, towering over everybody. My mother is 4'9". She didn't know what to do with me.
Wow, that all just spilled out.
In any case, I've learned. I've learned, so, so, so much! I've learned things I didn't know I didn't know! I think there just came a point where my output did not match my input. All the walking I did in college stopped but the calories kept coming in. I still say I never ate a lot, but I ate the wrong things and way too often. Just eating fast food is way too many calories. For me it was mindless fast food, pop, chips and too many trips to the fridge scrounging for food. I think it was a sugar and salt addiction. With those problems curbed, this is so easy. I think I nibbled my way to 235 pounds. Setting rules and not nibbling anymore has made a world of difference. Six meals a day, each treated as a "meal", and no more snacking...it's the difference between fat and thin. And moving more...what a blessing to BE ABLE to move more.