I should add that, yes, there are things that are very much Off Limits to me, and I agree that this has made all the difference. I'm thinking more of the fact that my eyes see the cupcakes, my brain registers the desire, and then I shut it down right away. "I don't eat those. When I used to eat those, I felt awful afterward. Those are not worth it." It's not so much that I'm fighting temptation all that much anymore as it is I'm constantly reinforcing the reasons why I don't eat my trigger foods.

Finally having the conversatons SAVED MY LIFE!!! for so many years, the little voice would pop up with "might as well eat the rest of the cheesecake" and i'd do it, no questions asked. Now i say "WHY?" I think about it, and 99% of the time tell the little spoiled snot inside to sit down and shut the f**k up LOL I love telling her to shut it! heheheeh She knows who's boss now, but I still like to talk to her! Keeps me honest and mindful.

Oh my goodness. I could have written this post.

When I spoke of people here who think such and such - well for sure I was one of the people. For sure. I too believed there was no other way. I mean, after all, one has to live, doesn't one? No way on earth you can stay away from those foods. But I kept going wrong some where. Something wasn't right. I'd have the one bite, this one time and, and, and, and 20 something years later I was still super morbidly obese. Helllooooo - maybe I wasn't doing the just one bite thing wrong, maybe IT was wrong.

Loved, loved, loved your birthday cake scenario. It is SO true. I've experienced it hundreds of times over the years. If the food was earmarked for something/someone else - I wouldn't dream of touching it. It wasn't mine, it wasn't intended for me, it wasn't earmarked for me. It WAS a definite no-no. Totally off limits to me. And I refrained.

I hope you don't think it's too weird if I tell you this - what the heck - here goes - I love and adore you. Really. ;)

hmm, i agree with alot of points on here. I guess I can look at both sides. Because I completely cut out processed sweets out of my diet for 2 years. I only ate organic food. The only bread i touched was Ezekiel bread. While I was in the throws of this type of eating I ignored birthday cake, i ignored all other types of goodies, or else i just substituted it for something else.

Then one night--i snapped. I was working at a convenience store, and during a loll-I bought myself a nutter buddy bar. The chocolate was so smooth, the pb so tasty. The crispy wafer so delectable! I thought it was the best thing i tasted in a while. I waited til after my shift was up and I bought three more. These things are fattening. Even before I changed to such a healthy lifestyle i would never buy packs of them, and I would never eat them more than maybe once a month! But i ate 4 that night. It was so eye opening.

I don't know if it is because I moved out of the state where I could always find organic foods, and vegan fare to a state that was all about fried chicken, and fried okra, and fried everything, and home made cooking...and all that. Where my lifestyle was so STRANGE. But i really just snapped that night in 2002. i gave up the EXREMELY VEGAN/ORGANIC lifestyle, and just went with the flow after that, if it was available I ate it! If I wanted it, i ate it. Alot of times, i felt so guilty about buying a cake to have a slice, i would eat the whole thing as a means to get rid of it faster! that's insane I know, but i did it.

I gained from 135-140 to 196 by 2005.

I thought there was no way i could ever try to LIMIT myself from eating junk again, because I would just snap. But thankfully I have my past of keeping a food journal when I was a teenager. I was 145 lbs. Not super skinny, very muscular and fit. I ate everything in moderation. And it worked for me. I also worked out by running/jogging, swimming and my own home weight routine.

Where had i gone on the "all or nothing" binge that makes me feel secure again? I know what day. It was back in 2000. I figured everyone had it wrong. So if I was completely opposite, I would be right. I refused to eat what everyone else was eating because they had to be completely wrong! Well, that kind of attitude and mindset caused me to become kind of pompous about food.

like "how could you put that toxin in your body, you should eat like me" pompous. I didn't realize it, but at every outing, every barbeque, every meal....I had that attitude. I felt empowered, i felt extraordinary, and it showed. People would always try to offer me that "yucky food" and I would turn it down in a heartbeat. Feeling very deeply "it's wrong!"

I didn't realize, and I often have a VERY HARD time realizing THERE IS MIDDLE GROUND. I know what works for one doesn't work for others--or whatever, but the people that i really look up to , the people i have seen it work for, are the celebrities that you never see in the tabloids about their newest diet, or the people that you never see in the tabloids about their bad bodies. It is people like Sandra Bullock i look up to. Sandra has an amazing plan. She also used to be chubby and she also admits to being a carb addict. But she realizes her limitations. She eats healthy every day. Makes good food choices, but ONE day, and that is her cheat day. She never regrets it, she doesn't extend it...it's hers.

for me, i have to REALIZE there is middle ground and stay on middle ground, or I bounce from one extreme to another. Eat the WHOLE CAKE, or EAT NO CAKE. What is it in me, that doesn't understand, you can choose a different option. Eat ONE SMALL SLICE of cake if it is available and you want it. One slice is not going to end the world.

So having been at both extremes. NO CAKE--50 lbs lighter--but miserable, and kind of pompous if you ask me. To WHOLE CAKE. 50 lbs heavier, and miserable, but a pushover. To "I'll take a small slice please". I feel more empowered, not cowering under a RESTRICTIVE LIFESTYLE that makes it obvious i'm not going to eat any cake, and not riding along on an overly permissive lifestyle that sees eating the WHOLE cake as a means to get rid of the darn thing. But as an empowered, enlightened person, that realizes I can have one slice of cake, and that can REALLY be all I need or want. And it won't make me gain, because I am in control of my calorie intake. I like the middle ground personally. But i have experience on both of the other sides.

Oh boy, I've had this conversation so many times.I'm still trying to learn how to say no and stick to that no.I guess the idea that I'm in control of what I eat just hasn't sunk all the way in.

I'll really have to think about this one. I've lost substantially before, I was 280 and got down to about 190, and then I had two babies in just over 2 years and now here I am at 224. When I was losing before, I still had things that probably others would say no to. Once in a while, I saved my calories and ate something that I desire occasionally, such as pizza or cake or cookies. And it worked fine for me - it never led to a binge or going off plan (I was never off plan, because my plan was calorie counting). It definitely wasn't nutritious that day, as I would skimp in order to have my treat, but oh well. I am using the same plan this time around and so far I haven't felt it worth it to have a treat, but I know one day I will. I just need to really think about it and watch my eating for a few days after to make sure it doesn't actually affect me or my plan, but I really think I'm a person who can do it and still lose weight consistently, and stay on plan.