It's taken me a few hours to work myself up to typing this post, because I'm still in shock and can't get my head around the whole thing.
When I got on the scales this morning and saw 173lbs it took me a few seconds to figure out in my head that I'd hit 100lbs lost (101lbs actually)
You know when people are taken totally by surprise with something and are speechless, well that's how I felt today
100lbs lost for me you see also means that for the first time in about 13 years I'm overweight and not obese anymore. My daughter who is seven and a half has never known me as anything but obese or morbidly obese til now... And talking of her, as of today I've now lost two of her (she weighs 50lbs)
I just can't seem to get it straight in my head, 100lbs gone in less than a year (it's my anniversary on 27th July).
I know I've had days and weeks when I've whined on here about it being so hard and how I didn't feel like I could keep going, but seriously, when I think back it's actually been so much easier than I ever imagined when I began this journey. Why did I wait so long to do this? I've spent most of my 20's and 30's hating myself when if I'd just decided to give it my all for one year I could have saved so many wasted years....
But do you know what? I don't think I was ready to do it any sooner. I think I had to hit rock bottom last summer in every aspect of my life, marriage, parenthood, career, friendships etc, to start the climb back up. I've had to learn to put myself first so that in turn I could be a better wife, mother, friend etc.
I know I still have a way to go, 28lbs to my initial goal I've set myself which will get me to a healthy BMI, and then I'll see how I feel. I still struggle some days, and I know I still have a LOT of mental as well as physical work to do before I reach goal. One of my greatest fears is what will I do when I actually reach goal? What happens next when I get there? After giving 110% of myself to this journey for almost a year, and it's probably going to be another 6 months of the same, what will I do when I reach my destination? I don't intend to EVER go back to where I was, I don't intend to EVER be obese again, so I know after I reach goal I'm going to spend the rest of my life on a different kind of journey, maintenance, but it's still scary to think something I've focused everything I've got on is going to come to an end at some point....
I want to thank everyone here on 3FC who has helped me on this journey so far. I really couldn't have done it without your words of congratulations, commiserations, advice and understanding
Although my hubby, family and friends have been great, if I hadn't been able to let it all out in writing here I know that I wouldn't have got as far as I have already. You guys and gals rock!