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Old 06-02-2010, 03:01 PM   #1  
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Default I have a BIG SECRET I can't contain - And worries!

OK Ladies, I NEED to share this with someone. Keeping it a secret IRL (except my Mom and BFF) is SO HARD, and I have issues I need to talk about!

I am 6 weeks and 2 days........Yup.....PREGNANT!

OMG...this is so insanely, unbelievably unexpected. Liam is twelve and a half and Talia will be nine in July!!!! That is a ridiculous age gap!
Some of you know that I have ALWAYS wanted to have one more, to the point of very often having vivid dreams of a very specific little boy, but Rudy was adamantly, officially, DONE.

Needless to say, this has been an insanely emotional week and a half since we found out. At first, it was awful...he freaked. We cried, talked and settled. The situation has now calmed down. We came to the conclusion that if FATE/ God/ Mother Nature, means for us to have this child, then it will happen, and if won't. I can accept that, I had 2 miscarriages when I was very young and I lived through them, I understand much more, scientifically, now, and know that miscarriages usually happen for very good reason. Rudy has always been an incredible Dad, from day one. His fears are all financial (understandably), and age related...although we're only 32 (me) and 34 (him).

Aside from those biggest fear is my weight. I am heavier than ever before. Three days after I found out, I weighed myself. 268 That is HORRIFIC!
In the following week, I STOPPED the nighttime eating (chips, ice cream, always), I broke out the treadmill, and started taking my vitamins, and eating great. A baby is incredible motivation for me. Probably the best I've ever had in my life. But this is SO not ideal. With my two kids, I didn't gain any weight during my pregnancies, so I have no doubt that I can do well. But I was a LOT lighter then (around 200). As a by product of making these changes...not attempting to lose, per se, but just making very positive changes, I have lost 3 pounds this week.
If I don't kick up my fitness, there's NO way, I can make it through a pregnancy...there's no choice. The first thing I noticed, is that my back is SO sore! (It's already a bit better with the walking I've done this week.)

I am excited, but also realistic, and terrified. We are broke, our house is too small to add a baby (although everything is doable, I suppose). But still, despite all these obstacles, I truly believe that this was meant to be.

I need you guys so much right now!

SO, anybody have stories to share? Good websites for obese Mommies? General advice and love?


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Old 06-02-2010, 03:05 PM   #2  
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What about pregnancy DVDs?

I had a plus size pregnancy and I wished that at the time I had known where to find these.

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Old 06-02-2010, 03:14 PM   #3  
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CONGRATS!! I first started being SERIOUS about losing weight in January 2008 (which I first joined 3fatchicks). That May, I found out I was PG! I had been losing pretty steadily, but then when the morning sickness kicked in, the thought of eating a veggie made me want to heave. Unfortunately, that stuck with me through my entire pregnancy. (When it is most important to get in your veggies!) I was down to 210 when I got PG and I think I got up to 250 or so while PG.

Towards the end, I had two high blood pressure readings and my Dr. freaked out and induced me. I think she was being overly catious, b/c I really had NO other complications and I had no other signs of preeclampsia (sp?)

Anyways... just do your best! Try to eat your veggies. Walking is great exercise when you are PG. I took a Water aerobics class while PG - that was really great.
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:14 PM   #4  
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My kids are 10 years apart and are as close as a brother and sister can be. The age difference can make it a really enriching experience to be a sibling. My daughter was 10 when my son was born. She has always been the doting big sister.

I truly believe that babies are gifts from God so I applaud your attitude that if it is meant to will be. The house being too small and being broke are only speed bumps in the road not major road blocks.

I would pray/ask the universe (whatever your spirituality is) for blessings to be able to welcome the baby more easily (improved finances, a bigger home, a great deal on a new car...whatever you may be needing most). Some of the best things in my life came just when I needed them. Buy all your stuff 2nd hand, ask friends for any leftovers they have of baby stuff, breast feed if you can, use cloth diapers if you can and make your own baby food when the baby gets big enough to eat real food. It will all work out just fine!!

Congratulations!! How exciting and wonderful for you. I am so envious of you!! I'd love another little one but little ones have daddies and I suck at long term relationships!! LOL Two ex-husband/baby daddies are enough for me, besides my daughter will be 20 soon, I should be a grandma in the next 5-10 years.

Big big hugs to your and your growing family!!
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:14 PM   #5  
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I was in the 240s when I got pregnant. In my case, I had such bad and permanent (whole pregnancy) morning sickness that I lost weight during the pg. But even without that, it's definitely possible to have a safe and healthy pregnancy at your size. Talk to your doctor, but chances are that it will be perfectly healthy to keep doing what you are doing right now and maybe even continue to slowly lose a small amount of weight, or at least, not gain like in your other pregnancies.

(btw, I was also 10 years older than you are now! lol!)

Good luck, and best wishes for a smooth and easy 9 months!
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:22 PM   #6  
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Congratulations! I believe that we are pregnant for 9 months for a reason. It gives us time to adjust. You both will become excited.

I have 4 children and was very obese with the last 2. Now that was 23 years ago so I know that medical opinions have changed.

I think that you should check with your doctor about how much you can exercise. My blood sugar was high but kept under the line and was not diagnosed with gestational diabetes. To be on the safe side, my doctor had me following a diabetic diet. It did not hurt and may be what kept me from having full blown gestational diabetes. I think my exhaustion was worse because of my obesity but I got through it. I ended up with a c-section and because I was obese, I had a vertical incision. The scar was not pretty but both the baby and I were fine.

See your doctor and do what she says. She will be able to tell you what you need to do!
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:25 PM   #7  
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I know it is different now but my great grandparents had 5 kids in a 1 one room house. My grandparents had 7 kids in a 3 bedroom house. My grandma also had her last kid when she was in her early 40s, I had one aunt who had her last kid in her early 40s and another aunt had her first at the age of 35.

Overall, I wish you the best of luck in the future and I'm sure you'll work it the best way that you can.
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:28 PM   #8  
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Don't be too upset about the age gap- my sister and I are 6 years apart and my brother and I are 9 years apart. Sure it was chaotic but the three of us are very close despite the huge age gaps
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:30 PM   #9  
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Congratulations! My older kids were 9, 11, 13 and 15 when my last baby was born! And what a wonderful blessing she has been. The age makes it nicer, actually, and the older kids can babysit!

I was around 270 when I got pregnant and while it was NOT easy I got through it ok. You will do fine! I highly recommend the book "What to eat when you're expecting." I used it for weight loss after my older babies were born... very sensible plan.
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:32 PM   #10  
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:35 PM   #11  
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First of all, Congrats!!

I have had 4 overweight pregnancies. My first I was under 200, but still overweight in fact they classified me as obese then. My second and 3rd I don't remember where I started or ended on the scale, but do know with the two combined (they are a year and a day apart) I gained and kept over 50 pounds (eek), the last little guy I started at 250 something ended at 260 something.

I have been healthy and active with all my pregnancies, no gestational diabetes, no high blood pressure. I ate healthy and exercised in my means.. mostly walking. If I had a craving, I ate it.. but I tried to limit it.

Remember now is not the time to start a vigerous exercise program, but adding some more movement into your day like walking or swimming is a good thing.

I had 4 c-sections, but not because of my weight, because my pelvis is fused (no clue how that happened and didn't know until my oldest went into distress during labor).

Many many women have healthy safe pregnancies at a less than ideal weight. Just make sure you find/have a dr/midwife who isn't constantly hounding you about your weight, it's important to have someone there for you who you trust and respect and who respects you as well.
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:37 PM   #12  
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Oh congrats and I wouldn't worry about the hubby, he will be super happy when the baby gets here. Here is my story:

I am 25 years old w/4 children and 1 on the way (9 weeks preggo). My husband was soooo insistent that he didn't want another baby after our 4th baby was born in Dec. 2008, so much so that he looked into a vasectomy himself. Well, I told him a few weeks ago I was expecting, and he was mad/afraid/stressed for about a week. Had all the questions like room, time, money, etc.... Yet, now abour 5 weeks later, he is internet shopping for furniture and clothes and we don't know baby's sex yet, so I think your hubby will be the same way.

Second, we live in a small home in a small town, only 3 bedrooms so you can imagine, we just saved and saved and have now decided to convert our garage into a bedroom where we can move our two youngest boys out of our room and into a room of their own, and depending on if this baby is a boy or girl, baby will share a room with my oldest son or daughter, so you can always find room.
Thirdly, as far as your weight, I am just like you! I gained only 20 lbs my first pregnancy (was 220 when baby was born) and went back to 199 about two weeks after he was born. Well, with the last baby is when I gained all the weight, because I was put on bed rest for 8 months and gained 90 lbs!!! I have just started working on losing it when I found out I was pregnant again. Our weight is pretty similar, I'm 274 (my highest ever!!!!) and I had the same conversation with my dr. He has put me on the South Beach Diet (skipping phase one) basically it is just removing bad starches and eating lean protein and lots and lots of veggies! I am also walking the treadmill, my dr said it was fine to walk, but don't run and if I am feeling pain or losing balance try walking outside instead of the treadmill.

Just keep your head up and keep up your treadmill and everything will be fine!!! As soon as you have that beautiful baby in your arms all the questions, doubts, and scares will disappear and you and DH will know what to do!

Good luck and best wishes sweety!!
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Old 06-02-2010, 03:42 PM   #13  
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It's all just so crazy! But, I absolutely believe that everything happens for a reason! I have faith!

I love hearing everybody's stories! I appreciate it so very much! I am the baby of a huge age gap of siblings. My nearest brother is 6 years older, then I have a sister and two more brothers ranging up to 15 years older.

Actually, last year, my BFF gave birth to micro preemie twins at 24 and 26 weeks respectively (yes, TWINS 16 days apart! Long story! They are OK today!) She has a daughter 6 weeks younger than mine, so it's nice to have her now, dealing with a similar circumstance!
Also...she says she's got everything we could possibly need, boy or girl...which is wonderful!

I will definitely be asking the universe/God for the things that we need to happen, and working toward said goals! Thank goodness we've already got a minivan....we needed it with 2 kids and 2 dogs! Now, it's the ability to step up to a bigger house, and a much better job for Rudes! (maybe some help with the debt too... )
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Old 06-02-2010, 04:34 PM   #14  
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I wish you a healthy pregnancy.
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Old 06-02-2010, 05:42 PM   #15  
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I agree with the others, give yourself time. I think sometimes if we think TOO far ahead we end up tripping and borrowing worries we don't have yet. You are going to do great, no matter what!
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