Have you thought maybe your mom needs a gentle approach? Dieting is super hard. Perhaps just ask her to go for a walk with you. Maybe not lay into her just offer little hints as you learn them... sneakily. I know you want her to live a long time and be there at your wedding and such. Tidbits in conversation.. like ok I don't know if this is true but my roommate drops these random ideas like.. did you know soda is 80% cause of pancreatic cancer? And you don't come back from that kind of cancer. I didn't look it up but that's one **** of a good reason for me to stop drinking ANY kind of soda! Scared me enough to quit so I don't really care if it's true tbh. I don't need to be drinking that crap anyway. But I am pretty sure ALL kinds of soda hinder weight loss due to the chemicals and aspertame in them. Or tell her how much lighter you feel drinking pure water that all that sugar was making you tired and sluggish. Or how about people who fidget tend to be skinnier. Maybe it will get her to stretch a little while on facebook. Ooh or how about a challenge to the biggest loser. I think they take stories. Tell her ok let's pretend we ARE on the Biggest loser.. you and me.. mom and daughter game! Just thoughts

It's a common reaction (regardless of age) for someone with any bit of new "knowledge" (be it religion, weight loss, a cool piece of new technology.....) to scorn those who "don't have it."

No matter what choices you make in life, you will be berated by someone for doing it "wrong" usually by someone who thinks he or she is doing it right (and usually they haven't been doing it very long).

Weight loss is especially prone to this kind of thinking. I never tried low-carb seriously because of how many people said it was wrong. I believed the hype and so it took me nearly four decades to learn that it was the right way for me. I didn't give it the slightest bit of consideration, because I believed the hype against it.

Self-righteousness is normal, especially in the early stages of finding something you're passionate about. "I've found the right path - and I feel so sorry for those who haven't. I need to convert them all to my way of thinking." It's normal, but it's still ugly.

I decided against wls, because I have risk factors that make me a poor candidate. The only thing I would wish for everyone (regardless of their starting weight) considering the surgery is - do your research, don't let your doctor do it for you. Your surgeon or even other wls patients, should not be your only source of information.

I had a doctor tell me that the only way I could lose weight permanently was to have wls - and not to worry about my risk factors, because I could find a surgeon willing to do the surgery despite them.

I didn't want a surgeon willing to ignore the risks - the surgeon isn't on the receiving end of the consequences. The worst consequences he or she will face is a loss of money due to a malpractice suit, the consequences for me are much graver.

I do think that wls is not given as much respect as it deserves. And I mean that in all senses. It's not respected enough by people who judge others for making the choice and taking the risks (it is not the "easy way" by any means. It's the hardest, most painful, most life-long way. And legally that has to be explained to the patients - now whether they listen to the risks, or whether the person explaining them is also a good salesman, is another issue entirely). Sometimes it's not respected enough by people wanting the surgery. If they don't understand and respect the risks, they may not succeed in their weight loss, or they may experience more of the risks.

All that being said, it's a great assumption (and probably a mis-assumption) to say that many or most - or any one individual is making an irresponsible choice. Just becaue irresponsibility exists, doesn't mean that we can assume that any person is making an irresponsible choice.

For example, in the case of some wls procedures, doctors have found it to put Type II diabetes into remission - even without weight loss. Someone who may not be super-morbidly obese, may still benefit from wls. You also can't assume that the person hasn't tried anything else, or is looking for an easy way.

I've been struggling with my weight since I was 5 years old. I'm an intelligent and strongly motivated person. I've done amazing things in my education and career (taught myself to read before kindergarten, I graduated high school and college early, I've usually held more than one job since I began working at 16). Yet, I've never been able to master my weight. I can certainly understand someone (even a someone who never got close to my top weight of 394 lbs) being willing to take the risks, fully understanding them.

I think we've got to be very, very careful of criticising anyone who doesn't make our choices, especially lobbing judgement and assumptions into the mix. You can't know people's motivations, and whether or not they're informed, whether or not they think it's the "easy way" or the "right way"....

We get to make those choices and judgements for ourselves, but we don't get to make them for others.

Getting my masters' degree was a walk in the park, compared to weight loss. Weight loss is one of the toughest things a person can do. Getting judgement piled on from others just makes it harder, and unfortunately it's almost a given that you'll face judgement.

We've got to be very careful here, in expressing opinions that can hurt others. I know I've failed in that regard. Most of us probably have. We realize too late that an opinion we voiced has hurt someone. Or we made inaccurate assumptions. To some degree, it's somewhat inevitable. There aren't many opinions that no one can take offense with, but here especially we need to make the extra effort to think how our comments can affect those on that path.