[Loving Me]

Last week I gave blood for the first time and was really proud of myself. When it came to my official weigh in day, the day after giving blood, I was shocked to see I'd lost 4lbs. At the time I did think it was maybe a false reading from the donation, but I took it gladly and changed my ticker etc with my usual excitement.
Then we went away for the weekend and I was off plan for 2 days although I didn't eat anything like as much as I used to, and we walked loads. On coming home I found out those 4lbs were back
I've spent the rest of the week working my butt off to get them off again, but have only managed to lost two of them, so I'm thinking 2 of last weeks 4 were false, and this week I've just maintained because of the bad weekend.
When I see a new low on the scale I usually change my ticker and leave it there, but my ticker has been taunting me this week and making me feel like even more of a failure because the number has gone up, so I've just changed it again so it's correct.
I have to say I'm panicking this week and feeling really down about those numbers. I know sensibly last week's number was false and with a weekend away I'm lucky to maintain this week, but it's that scared feeling I keep getting when I think that maybe the good run I've having with the weight loss is over. That I'm never going to be able to lose anymore weight or even that it's going to start going back on again.
Then I think, do I need to eat less now to still be able to lose weight, then I think am I actually not eating enough generally for the amount of exercise I do? See my dilemma? I don't know which is correct, and it's making me feel anxious all the time.
I keep reminding myself that I'm in a UK size 16 for the first time in years, I'm fitter than I've probably ever been, and I'm getting compliments from people more or less on a daily basis. I look in the mirror and see this "normal" sized woman looking back and find it hard to believe it's me. But deep down inside I still feel huge and I'm frightened that someone is going to take it all away from me.
I have no intention of giving up, I've felt down all week, in tears at times, but I've still been on plan and made myself go to the gym each day and worked really hard. I know if I never lose another pound my life is SO much better than it was, but I'm terrified the weight is going to go back on, and now I've got this far I really want to finish the job...
Sorry for such a long post, seems I'm having a pity party at the moment, but it's been bugging me all week so figured it best to get it out. And now I've changed my ticker at least that can't taunt me.

[huntress]

Hey, just pick up that pity party you've been on and kick it to the curb. Look how far you've already come, wow almost 100 lbs. That's fantastic and I would give anything to be where you are now! Just get back OP and keep on going, you can do it!

[Eliana]

I'm living that moment right now myself. The fear of gaining it back, the fear that no more weight will come off. It's starting to come off slower now, but I'm still seeing daily results in the mirror, so I'm ok with it. My weight is currently doing funky things. I did two hours of cardio yesterday and an hour of lifting and yet the scale went up two pounds?? How does that happen? It makes me to do the wondering of eat more or eat less? Eat less makes the most sense but given the exercise I do, I think I'm not eating enough. The math just doesn't make any sense. If I'm burning 1000 calories just through exercise, shouldn't I be able to eat 1200 calories at least? Bah. Weight loss just doesn't make logical sense, I don't care what others say!

But I know from experience, as do you , that the weight WILL come off if given enough time.

[ubergirl]

Oh LM

I totally and completely hear you... even about the 4 lbs....

I'm sitting here dealing with an unexplained 3 lb gain that has stuck with me for over a week. I am so frustrated!!! And yesterday I went shopping and although I was so excited to find a gorgeous size 14 dress... the truth is that 99% of the clothes I tried on didn't fit right.... I'm just under plus, and just over the average 14. I'm not going to fit comfortably in normal 14s unless I lose another 10 to 15 lbs....

So it is completely normal to feel how you are feeling, but PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE don't lose sight of your accomplishments. You are doing awesome, and you YES YOU have inspired me day after day to push myself to do more. I don't think I would be running 30-45 minutes daily if it had not been for your example and inspiration.

It IS a struggle not to get wrapped up in the scale, but we can't lose sight of how far we have come....

[LaurieDawn]

At times like this, sometimes it's nice just to appreciate the journey. I remember being where you are - although I peaked at about 85 pounds down - and it was such an amazing feeling to be able to run 8 miles at a time and keep up with my kids at the amusement park (running to each ride) and with kids on hikes, etc. Just establishing a regular exercise pattern always makes my life sssooooo much better.

Not saying to give up on the scale, of course. The scale provides valuable information. But it also lies. It doesn't take into account water content, muscle content, (blood content), etc. So, it can provide both a kick in the the butt and a kick in the teeth. A mixed blessing for sure.

So, maybe for a few days, it would help to just stop making yourself crazy about the number, if you can. Though you might continue to weigh every day to help you maintain accountability, concentrating on the blessings that you are experiencing every day for a few days rather than on how you can make that number go down might provide a little perspective and a little less anxiety.

[PeanutsMom704]

I try to remind myself to look at the bigger picture - day over day comparison of weight is essentially meaningless IMO - and I say that as a somewhat newly converted daily weigher! lol! (I find it helpful for many reasons, but as an accurate indicator of my weight trend, no).

I also found that even week over week comparison is not that meaningful for me because when I went back and looked in detail at the 3 months worth of daily WIs I have now, I ended up seeing a pattern where I lose for only part of the month and the rest of the month, I yoyo up and down. Not back up to as high as I was, and then I will get down to a new low at the end of the yo yo.

So I'd say to look at the bigger picture, and not just this past week. Go and look back at where you were a month ago and I bet you'll be feeling a lot better. And I'm even willing to be that in a month from now, you'll be feeling ok too!

One comment about ticker changes - I love my ticker, but I also have to remember it's simply a tool to motivate me to stay on plan. Most of the time, I don't feel motivated when it's lower than my scale weight because I do get that taunting feeling. But this week, I'm probably going to leave it because even though I'm slightly higher right now, I have stayed on plan and I know it's TOM stuff. So right now, I think moving it up would be claiming a gain that I don't think I really gained, and leaving it down will help keep me on track to get back to the lose I rightfully earned. So since it was taunting you, then yes, raise it and make it into a challenge to yourself. But don't turn what is still a short term blip into something larger. We all know that weight loss isn't linear, not day over day and not even week over week. So don't beat yourself up and consider this the first step into regaining all you've lost. That will not happen if you don't let it happen!!!

[Loving Me]

Thanks for the words of encouragement and advice girls, I really appreciate it .
I'm really trying hard to stay positive and keep going, went for a run outside yesterday and slashed my previous time for the same route, but I'm afraid I'm still not feeling any better. And thanks so much Uber for saying I've inspired you
I just wish I could get rid of this feeling of panic and terror that my plan isn't working anymore and I'm never going to lose anymore weight or it's going to start going back on. It's making me tearful and anxious and I have a permanent sick feeling in my stomach because of it this last week.
I really don't know what to do, I know I've been VERY lucky so far on my journey that I've not hit a plateau before, but it just makes it harder to deal with now.
I've considered not weighing for a few days to see if that helps me be less stressed about it, but then again I'm wondering if it would just make me worse not knowing what the scale is saying....