blurg why did i come back and read more of this??? i feel a bit steamrolled robin, like we can't differ from your opinion because we just don't get it -- our feelings aren't our fault, we just don't know what we're missing but we'll eventually come around to your way of thinking - like we have to, because it's the only right way???
I'm just begging to respectfully disagree and not be patronized and patted on the head with a "you'll get it eventually dear". We're all different, we all count, we all are entitled to our opinions / thoughts obviously, but hopefully that means all of us.
ok, venting and ranting over and out, won't come back to this thread! Maybe I should take a little 3fc break for bit, this isn't so much fun.
Trazey, I'm not so sure why you just pinned me out here, certainly not to the extent that you did. I feel pretty awful right now . Did you see what I was saying as a personal attack? Because it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be an attack at all, personal or otherwise. I wasn't trying to get you to "cross over to my side". You are more than entitled to your opinion, your feelings, your - everything.
Where in the world did I give you the impression that you'll get it eventually and that I was patronizing you? You know what, it doesn't really matter.
As far as this not being fun - well, it ISN'T always fun. But no one ever said it would be!
I have no problem agreeing to disagree with you or anyone. Though I find it odd, because I think even within this thread we share many similar views, though we may have said them differently.
Hugs to you RR. I have just come to this thread and have now spent some time reading it after your above post. Your posts here are just as eloquent, empowering, thought provoking yet sensitive as they always are. Keep rockin' ROBIN! Let no one ROCK your boat!
thanks to everyone who PM'd me with words of support, that was really great! I can understand not wanting to post things on this thread, taking sides is a destructive undertaking for sure!
I'm heading out for a while still, and I'll come back in Onederland I'm sure, and ready to start fresh. I might check out the other forums on 3FC as I've rarely strayed from 100 club!
And well, umm yeah, there IS a difference being at goal and winding your way towards it. You WILL see MAJOR differences when you're "there". I'm not talking about instant happiness, I'm talking about the WOW! factor.
I did this before, though. Before I got pregnant with my kids, I lost over 70 lbs. getting to a beautiful 140 lbs. It didn't last long as I got pregnant almost immediately. Then I was losing weight post-pregnancy (in the 160's maybe?) and got pg again. After that, it's like I gave up or something. This time around it's a LOT harder and frankly, I'll be more relieved than wowed, you know? And no more babies!!!!!
Holy COW! I have passed up this thread because...I didn't agree with the title. Still a little unsure and I will reserve comments for later...I can't even finish reading this thread because it is so DEEP! Whew, lots of things are swirling in my head!! I'll be back...
's maybe?) and got pg again. After that, it's like I gave up or something. This time around it's a LOT harder and frankly, I'll be more relieved than wowed, you know? And no more babies!!!!!
Ain't nothing wrong with relieved, it's pretty darn good too!!
I'm sad to see some feelings got hurt in this thread - at least from an outsider's perspective, I'd say a mod should move this one to the hall of fame on here. SO many interesting and insightful perspectives, and very helpful to see the sides of this.
Personally, being fat wasn't terrible, because I didn't know any better. I still had happiness and a good life, but now that I can contrast my state for the first time in my adult life, I cannot BELIEVE the subtle changes that I took for granted before. Heck, just going through a pregnancy 50 pounds lighter is CAKE compared to how sore and painful the previous two were... I cannot imagine how much better I will feel by baby #4, another 50 or so pounds down!
I'm sad to see some feelings got hurt in this thread - at least from an outsider's perspective, I'd say a mod should move this one to the hall of fame on here. SO many interesting and insightful perspectives, and very helpful to see the sides of this.
Personally, being fat wasn't terrible, because I didn't know any better. I still had happiness and a good life, but now that I can contrast my state for the first time in my adult life, I cannot BELIEVE the subtle changes that I took for granted before. Heck, just going through a pregnancy 50 pounds lighter is CAKE compared to how sore and painful the previous two were... I cannot imagine how much better I will feel by baby #4, another 50 or so pounds down!
I'm very surprised with how the thread turned out. I wasn't really commenting on my happiness. I'm happy now and fairly healthy.
When I think about losing weight, I think about how much hard work it is to exercise and not eat junk food. But, I recently realized that there's also a lot of work (for me) to stay overweight. I thought it was a good way to counter my negative thoughts about getting healthier.
I'm usually shy posting threads because I don't want to offend anyone. I tend to be much less sensitive than other people, so I usually keep my mouth shut. I'm still glad that I posted it because I think there were some good insights.
I think that there is definitely effort involved in living a healthy lifestyle. It is hard to be overweight also. To me, the hard part of the healthy lifestyle while losing weight is the long time spent with both "hards." I have had some things really improve, but for the most part I am still an overweight person with all of those difficulties AND I am living the "hard" of planning, exercising, dealing with injuries, etc. I know that I will eventually lose the weight and only have 1 "hard" but this time spent with both of them is not easy. It's an investment and an act of faith, but not easy.
Great thread and I love reading all of the different viewpoints!
There may be some effort involved in living a healthy style like I get up early to exercise, I may have to cut up some veggies, prep healthy foods, ensure I have lunches ready, etc. I think that is all worth it. Having said that, I'm still 'fat' although I'm pretty happy with my weight as it is right now.
Change is always hard, even if it ultimately makes your life easier. From the outside, change always looks easy "just do it," but habits are engrained stronger than that. It takes significant effort even to make small changes.
To an extent, it really does boil down to "just do it," but it's an oversimplification of the truth, there is no "just" about it. Acknowledging how difficult change is, I think helps people make the change.
When everyone around you is telling you how "easy" it should be, you tend to feel overwhelmed and wonder why you're such a lame-o idiot to find it so difficult.
Acknowledging the difficulty, makes it a lot easier, because it prepares you for putting in the work. If everyone is telling you it's easy, and you find it difficult, it's very tempting to give up.
I use the analogy of playing a musical instrument. If you're expecting to be able to pick up a guitar or sit down at a piano, and play awesome music within days, weeks, even months, you're going to be unpleasantly surprised. If everyone around you also has that expectation, you're frustration level is going to skyrocket and if you can't overcome the frustration, you're going to give up the instrument.
Weight loss I think is the same. People go in, not realizing how difficult something "so easy" can be. When everyone else around them is also telling them how easy it should be, it can become very easy to feel it's impossible instead of just difficult.
I would strongly suspect that 3FC members have a higher rate of weight loss success than the average person without this kind of support system, because no one here is saying that it's easy, because we know better.
I would strongly suspect that 3FC members have a higher rate of weight loss success than the average person without this kind of support system, because no one here is saying that it's easy, because we know better.
I agree with this 100%. There is so much kindness shown to every member here that it lifts you up and makes you believe that you can succeed at a difficult task.
Wow, this is a topic that has brought out alot of intense reactions. Did we forget why we are all here ? To lose some weight ? Yes... and while we're at it, get and give support... because we all know deep down how it feels to be fat. And what about being "just as happy before" ? Well that's true for some, I guess, but not for me. I am here because I have lived 59 years in a body that I created that did not serve me well. Why did I do that? Heck, I haven't figured that one out yet, but one thing for sure... I am enjoying my life more now because I am emering from under that burden. Happiness is a relative thing,from what I can see, it can only get better as we progress towards our goals.
It's so expensive to be fat - in food and clothes and high blood pressure or cholesterol or diabetes pills, etc! And it takes a lot of time out of the day -to plan eating, get the food, eat it, and hide the evidence, so to speak! What a hastle!
. Did you see what I was saying as a personal attack? Because it wasn't meant to be. It wasn't meant to be an attack at all, personal or otherwise. I wasn't trying to get you to "cross over to my side". You are more than entitled to your opinion, your feelings, your - everything. 
Let no one ROCK your boat! 
