my mother gets to me so bad i get so fustrated

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  • so ive lost a little weight ( 30 pounds to be exact ) was at a 40 pound loss but ive been off track scince christmas now regrouping but anyways i gained 10 pounds im not beating myself up it sucks but what went up must go down again ... hopefully lolz ok so currentley im at 229 ( im 5'6 so you can get an estimate of how it looks ) i know im overweight ( hence im working on it ) my mother see's me today after a long time so she says wow you look great !( of course im flattered .... followed by your boobs are huge ... you should wear sports bras and big sweatshirts because your boobs are making you look superfat.... idk where those things are growing to they seem bigger now than before ( somehow i went from a 44D bra to a 38DDD both times i was proffesionally measured before and current i guess my boobs ... adjusted??? idk either ) so i tell her what do you want me to do ? im working on it ... theres really nothing i can do about it mom ... i cant control boobs they where big before i got fat they where big when i was fatter they are big after loosing 30 pounds ... and theyll probably stay big even after ... seriously what do you want me to do? shes like idk .... its a shame ... looks really bad on you ...

    i feel awful wtf am i supposed to do with them ? its not like i can control it .. now i feel like even if i do loose weight its pointless im always going to be top heavy i really hate my figure i wish i had a huge butt that can be hidden nicley with a cute skirt what to do with boobs? i cant live in a sweatshirt all the time .... ....

    i guess im done ranting
  • Why would you want to hide them? I have a 38DD and wish for a 38DDD...and I have the huge butt too...it's no great party...makes pants a little harder to buy. But do not let your mother make you feel ashamed. Your body is beautiful, and if you got 'em, flaunt 'em!
  • No kidding! I'm not large or small but I would LOVE to be larger! IDK my cousin has a pretty large chest but is otherwise pretty skinny (esp. her tummy) so she wears tight fitting clothes and looks AMAZING! Maybe once you are at the weight YOU want to be and have a tight stomach then tighter clothes will look even better!

    ANYWAYS be proud of who you are!
  • Maybe you need to analyze your mom's chest for her, and see how she feels about it. Wearing tent like clothing over big boobs just make you look fat. Wear form fitting, body flattering clothes and not only will you look sexy but you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Those boobs of yours are absolutely nothing to be ashamed about!
  • Quote: Maybe you need to analyze your mom's chest for her, and see how she feels about it. Wearing tent like clothing over big boobs just make you look fat. Wear form fitting, body flattering clothes and not only will you look sexy but you'll feel a lot better about yourself. Those boobs of yours are absolutely nothing to be ashamed about!
    That's what I was thinking. I'm very well endowed, too, and I love my breasts. All 4 of my babies appreciated the comfort and nourishment my large breasts provided. And, my husband is particularly fond of them. Actually, I worry about what losing so much weight is going to do to them. I'm going to lose the weight anyway, but still....*sigh*
  • It's a shame that your mother is saying things to attempt to make you feel ashamed of your body. Mothers can be really, really good at that, can't they? My mother was good (and still is, really) at making critical comments about her daughters' bodies.

    I hope that you can learn to not let it bother you. You are working hard on getting into shape and it sounds like you've got a nice curvy top. If your boobs bother you or cause you pain, you can get a reduction later but only if it's truly what YOU want to do. I agree with the others; wearing huge baggy tops, sportsbras (hello, uniboob!) or bulky sweatshirts do not disguise a full bust; they just contribute to make you look generally heavy.

    I know what I'm talking about here. I am a 34G and yeah, them's some big boobies. There is no use trying to camoflage them with a tent-like top, because nobody is fooled--they can still see the boobs, and all it does is hide my nice waist! So I wear mostly sweaters (fitted but NOT tight) and nice knit tops with cardigans. I make sure to always wear a good, professionally-fitted bra (just like you do) and then I just rock my figure to the best of my ability.

    Be proud of all the hard work you're doing, be proud of your generous bust, and try not to listen to your mom's critical comments. I don't know why moms feel like it's OK to do this, because it's not.
  • Do NOT strap 'em down with a sports bra and cover 'em up with baggy sweatshirts.. Better they be big and round, and feminine, than smashed to your chest so you look like a dude. I hate the crushed uniboob look.

    What to do with boobies? .... Why, flaunt them of course. No manly sweatshirts.... Deep V-necks, show off the cleavage. Even at my hugest, super-fatness of nearly 400 lbs, I always at least felt good about "the girls." I figured if I couldn't wow 'em with the whole package, I could at least stun 'em with cleavage.


    If I'd have my way, Ren Fair garb would be everyday wear. No one rocks a chemise and a tightly tied bodice like a fat chick.


    Seriously though, if my mom said something like that, I would want to critique HER boobs - tell her how old, sad and droopy they're starting to look, but I probably wouldn't get the chance, because my husband would beat me to it.

    I have to say that my husband is really sweet when it comes to dealing with my mother. When she gets snarky to me, he usually hits her with a real zinger (and then later I ask him how the heck he came up wiht the perfect comeback on such short notice, and he'll come back again wiht something really funny like "I'm so bored here at your parent's house that all I have to do all day is think of witty things to say to your mother.")
  • Quote: If I'd have my way, Ren Fair garb would be everyday wear. No one rocks a chemise and a tightly tied bodice like a fat chick.
    "Post proof or retract"

    I'm dying for a picture of the Kaplods at the Ren Faire. Wonderful post.
  • I know how you feel! My grandma is the same way, maybe not so harsh, but I get it. I used to have blonde hair, she hated it. I dyed it back to my natural brown, it was too dark. I wear this color shirt, but SHOULD be wearing that color shirt. I ate that for dinner, but should have eaten this. She think my brother plays too many video games, but now she thinks he goes to baseball practice too often. JUST CANT WIN!
  • i feel better .... i was starting to think that i was becoming overly sensative i really dont want to be that way at all but its really hard when someone reacts so negativley to your body ... i really hate it sometimes i find it all i can do to keep from bursting into tears even at my lowest weight in HS (140 @ 5'6 ) my mother always poked fun at me and made fun of me to make it even worse SHE used to do all my clothes shopping i wasnt allowed a job and so i was stuck with whatever she bought me thank god my sister ( shes much older 11 years diffrence between us ) had a job and she was very kind about buying more appropriate clothing for me ...

    comming from an indian backround my parents are ridiculously strict i wasnt and still arent allowed to - wear shorts , mini skirts, or any non floor length skirt for that matter, no sleevless shirts no cap sleeve clothing no fitted clothing... on the hottest summer day my parents had me garbed in sweats and a boys jersey over a "short" (elbow length) sleeved tshirts i used to have to hide in the bathroom at school just to put on a pair of jeans and a shirt that actually fit , my parents always denied that it was because of thier old fashioned ness , my dad said its what ever your mother says my mother said i was so fat i would offend people by dressing in fitted clothing. and that i would be the laugh of the school .... im 22 and married .... not much has changed if they see me wearing a shorter sleeve than they would like they go out of thier way to humiliate me in frount of as many people as possible .... well honestly when i say they its mostly my mother my dad just goes along with what ever she says ....

    sometimes i wonder if im fatter than i see myself ..... i wonder what i look like to other people
  • Boobs are grand! The biggest challenge is finding a comfortable bra to make 'em look their best as your body is changing. Your mother is probably having her own body issues watching you loose weight.

    My own experience, which is quite profuse, is that families can be the most supportive and infuriating creatures during our life style changes. They have become accustomed to our old ways of eating, maybe even nurtured those behaviors. Everyone hates change, even if it's good. Some family members are down-right envious of our changes in health habits and body improvements. Try to stay focused on you. Seek support from secure sources (like here), and try to keep your mother's harsh, critical, and unhelpful comments from derailing you.
  • Chunkey, I am so sorry.

    You must take care of you! You are a woman now. Dress as YOU like--to make yourself feel your most attractive and most comfortable. Even at my largest I absolutely refused to sweat beads in order to "cover up" what was obvious no matter what I put on.

    My thoughts are with you now--hugs too! For what it's worth, I love breasts and sure wish I was more ample!
  • Chunkey Munkey,

    There are two different ways to measure for a bra. one is a very old fashioned way that basically pre-dates elastic...some people still use it (yes professional bra-"fitters" and they are wrong. I have a hard time imagining that anybody would go from a 44D to a 38DDD...usually when someone loses weight, they lose cup volume, not gain it. I'm wondering if maybe you were fitted by one of the old "measure under the breast and then add 5 inches and that is the band size" people. The problem with people who "professionally measure" is, if you go see 3 people who professionally measure on the same day, you will get 3 different sizes.

    See this web site to help yourself check:
    http://www.wikihow.com/Measure-Your-Bra-Size

    Your mom is speaking from her ideal, which (as you are painfully aware), although it is valid, it is not representative of most Americans. "Bigger is Better." Look at all the women going out and getting breast augmentation. They'd kill for 38DDD. I have 38 DD and I've gone from 260 to 190 and they haven't shrunk much if any (but the rest of me sure has!!) and nobody can take their eyes off them.

    Whatever you do wear, your mom's advice about sweatshirts and sports bras, that's just baaad. You know that.

    A beautiful v-neck surplice wrap (with short, long, or elbow length sleeves) dress or blouse with a nice tight waist) would be so flattering on you.
  • Mine have gone up a cup size during this weight loss process as well, from a 38DD to a 34 F. We do a fair amount of shifting and we can't control where it shifts from and to.

    I'm sorry your mom said such unkind things. I think our mothers think if they don't say it, no one will...and perhaps that's because no one should!! LOL!
  • Quote: ,I know what I'm talking about here. I am a 34G and yeah, them's some big boobies.
    Glad to find another one, currently I'm 34GG. There are definitely times when I'd like smaller boobs when it comes to buying clothes and bras, but for making figure look good, they're definitely an asset.