What to do?
 

I work in a medical office with two doctors that I really like and respect and often work closely with. It's one doctor's birthday today and after singing happy birthday to him in the staff kitchen with the entire staff, I avoided the cupcake pass-around and went back to my desk.

Then the doctor himself came down the hall with a box of cupcakes to make sure everyone got one. He put one on my desk and goes, "I saw you didn't grab a cupcake, you need to try one, it's from Sprinkles!" He isn't aware I'm trying to lose weight, and honestly, he is a nice guy who wants everyone to always be included.

Now, not only do I feel awkward not at least eating a little bit of it because he specifically brought it to me, but it's from Sprinkles which is that premier cupcake bakery that Paris Hilton always visits when she's in Scottsdale, AZ (where I work) and I happen to know that a dozen cupcakes there costs $36. And it's some place I've wanted to try for awhile.

But I'm trying SO HARD to count calories and lose weight, and let's face it, a cupcake that is the size of a small cake just isn't going to fit.

My brain and stomach and even tastebuds are saying "nope, you're fine" and I'm actually, honestly (surprisingly!) okay with just tipping it into the trash.

But my manners are saying that my coworkers are all sitting around and would see that, and if the doctor walks past again and asks how it was, I'll feel terrible.

What to do?

Someone will reply to your post and have a great way to handle it, so wait for that. In the meantime, my only thought is to not eat it. I would feel guilty if I did.

That's the thing, I'd totally feel guilty on a personal level. But I so, so don't want to be rude. To insult my boss would make me feel really horrible. He may not ever even notice, but my coworkers are all in extremely close proximity.

can you take it home and share it with someone ?

Maybe you could take it and say you are saving it for later...and throw it in the trash later on. You can do this.

Just take it back to the kitchen and leave it for someone else. If anyone happens to notice, tell the truth. No sense in throwing it away when someone else might want it. I wouldn't be upset if someone turned down my $3 cupcake because they were watching their calories or sugar consumption. I would be aggravated if I saw that someone threw away my $3 cupcake instead of just leaving it for someone else.

When he stopped to give you the cupcake, why didn't you just tell him that you are trying to reach a healthy weight and need to pass on the sweets....and thank you anyway and Happy Birthday! I don't like to tell people that I'm dieting, either...but sometimes, it makes it easier.

I really, really, really don't think it's rude to turn down a cupcake. Yet alone in this day and age where flour, sugar and fat is a big no no for many people.

"They do look good, but no thanks. My sugar has been out of whack lately." Nuf' said.

My husband texted me in the middle of all of this and asked what I was doing, and I wrote back "looking at a Sprinkles cupcake on my desk" and he wrote back "bring it to me!" and so I put it in my lunch box and am going to do that. He has the metabolism of a 16 year old track star so he'll be okay. :)

Blairsey - the reason I didn't say anything is because not only did it all happen kind of fast and I didn't react correctly and in time, but also because everyone in my office is on a "diet" and I don't want to join in their commiserating ranks.

You know the type - they say they're on a diet, but then they're eating Taco Bell for lunch and bemoaning how they can't lose weight. Then I'll hear the men in the kitchen picking on those girls for the fact that they're eating fast food while they're bragging about how they're on a diet...and I don't really want any attention drawn to myself. There's a bad stigma around here about "dieting," and I've been really successful so far about just keeping quiet and doing my thing, until today.

I really appreciate your help!

coming in late, but fwiw, if I can't escape easily (like you did the first time before the doctor hand delivered a cupcake), I just pack things up and say I'm taking home to share with my family. My son is underweight and can afford to eat a treat like this! And no one needs to know that I'm not sharing it with him.

A) Anyone who's feelings are hurt because you don't eat something they give you is being manipulative. I don't think the doctor was being manipulative, he was being nice, which means his feelings WON'T be hurt if you don't try it.

B) Sprinkles cupcakes are highly overrated! I think plain old Betty Crocker ones are much better. So trust me, you didn't miss anything. I don't know how Sprinkles gets repeat business. For that much, I want the cupcake of all cupcakes, and those just aren't it. They are dry and not sweet enough for me with an odd after taste.

C) Next time, you can always graciously take the cupcake, then quietly put it back in the breakroom for someone else to enjoy. That's what I've done when someone wouldn't take no for answer and I didn't want to draw more unwanted attention to my not wanting whatever it was.

Good job!

I see you have found a solution but really I'd agree, offering it up to someone else is perfectly ok.

And I may be naive but I thought $3 was a normal price for a cupcake? Maybe I don't buy them enough to know :)

Here's my take on this...obviously you found your solution...but for others who deal with this everyday. To me, Sprinkles cupcakes aren't enough to lose focus on my daily caloric intake...it's not worth it. So I look at it like this...it might be right in front of me but I'll wait until there's a special occassion for ME. Not someone else's birthday, wedding, anniversary, job promotion etc...but for MY OWN.

We put too many people ahead of ourselves and allow ourselves to get caught up in the "I hope I don't hurt anyone's feelings for not trying there casserole (cake, pie, dish, etc)." But from now on...I'm making a vow to say "no" to things I so desperately do NOT need.

lookin2lose, that's an excellent point. thanks for that!!!!!

I appreciate everyone's take on this so, so much. I'm so glad I have you all for advice!!!!

I really disagree with this, for the reasons the OP stated. It is not anyone's business whether one is trying to lose weight, and it can backfire really bad in an office. It doesn't make things easier in the long run. It just makes you the center of unwanted attention.

Here's the thing. This is real life. Once you lose weight, you will still not be able to just happily scarf down that cupcake. Sorry if this is a shock! And people will still be offering you food, food that you don't want to eat. We have to learn to be gracious about it WITHOUT feeling like we need to eat the whole thing. I'm glad the OP found a way to deal with it.

I would have cut a piece of it, eaten it, left it sitting there so the doc could see I tasted it, and if he asked, I'd say I was going to take the rest home for later. And then I would quietly take it to the ladies room and trash it.

Jay