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Old 03-13-2010, 11:59 AM   #1
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Default I do not like shopping and that hasn't changed!

I really detest shopping. I was hoping it was because of my size and that I would somehow magically come out of my shell.

I went to the mall yesterday. I haven't been to the mall in YEARS...like a decade. I shop at the thrift store and my friends and mother's closets. Shopping is not fun, something I'm sure many of you can relate to.

Right now, I need new tops for Spring. So I struck out to the mall with my new size 16 self. I was thrilled that I would be able to shop in normal stores.

First up: Saks Fifth Ave (off Saks). Holy smokes, nothing under $150 and nothing over a size 8!! I felt so out of place! I felt like I was encroaching on space that wasn't meant to have me in it. And even if I had $150 to blow on a shirt, I wouldn't spend it on material like that! $150 freaking dollars for a THIN, ugly t-shirt? Really?

Anyway...on to the next two stores, neither of which had anything larger than a size 10. I tried Calvin Klein which had tops that actually fit me, but once again, the pants didn't go above a 10.

So I felt fat, fat, fat, fat, fat.

Yet another store I walked into was all clothes for women over 80...and I liked it!! LOL!! But I made myself leave. I am too young to dress like that. (35)

I do not know how to dress myself. I am 35 years old and I feel like I missed out on the shopping formative years...you know, the years when you first start shopping without your mother or gaggle of friends to show you what to wear. I stopped shopping at about that time so I'm totally clueless! I can't shop with my friends because they're still shopping at Lane Bryant. we're in different places.

I did find some nice things at Van Heusen. I think I like that store. I asked the cashier to please pick out a necklace for me that would go with most of the tops. LOL! I don't know how to do it?

Is anyone else out there like me? I want to be put together, I watch "What Not to Wear", but I find shopping overwhelming. Everything seems geared to teens or the elderly.
Long term goal: To still be calorie counting 11/9/2010
mini goals: ~211-10% lost;12/24/09 ~203 class I obesity 1/28/10; ~199 Onederland/15% 2/19/10; ~188-20%; ~185 half way 5/14/10; 179-bye 180's 6/12/10; ~174 overweight 7/3/2010;169-bye 170's 8/13/10;~164-30% 10/23/2010159-bye 160's~11/1/10; 153-35%~12/23/10; 149-bye 150's~2/11/11; 145 normal~2/14/2011; ~141-40%; 139-bye 140's ~135 GOAL! (129-45%; 117.5-50%)

My "goal" story: http://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/goal...goal-post.html

Last edited by Eliana; 03-13-2010 at 12:00 PM.
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Old 03-13-2010, 12:16 PM   #2
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Yikes, I probably can't help you here. I absolutely love shopping! I am addicted to clearance racks, though. Penney's has had some awesome clearance sales this last year. Macy's too. My closet is bursting. It will probably just take you a little time to adjust. When I was first able to fit into regular sizes I felt very awkward shopping in that section. I was afraid someone would send me back to the womens section. It didn't take long though, and I was feeling fine in the smaller sizes. Just keep trying, you'll figure it out. Maybe head to the stores with more reasonable prices though. I couldn't bring myself to pay that much for clothing either.

In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins... Not through strength, but through Persistence.
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Old 03-13-2010, 12:25 PM   #3
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I think (I've been told) that a lot of the high end stores DO have the larger sizes (12-14), they just keep them in the back, so you have to ask. If that's the case, it seems needlessly humiliating to me, but apparently that's the standard.

Last edited by Shmead; 03-13-2010 at 12:25 PM.
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Old 03-13-2010, 12:28 PM   #4
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I find it completely overwhelming! In fact, I can't remember the last time I walked into a clothing store - at least 10 years. I've become quite adept at online shopping, but I don't branch out from what I know will look okay because I don't want to have to return stuff.

The idea of walking into a store makes my heart pound with anxiety. I fear what you encountered or, worse, a sales clerk telling me I don't belong there. I've got the added pressure of being too tall for many regular clothing stores.

So I have no advice - you're ahead of me by venturing out there! I just wanted you to know I understand how you're feeling.

Oh, and I'm 38 and don't really know how to dress myself or shop either.

Last edited by CLCSC145; 03-13-2010 at 12:30 PM.
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Old 03-13-2010, 12:30 PM   #5
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Default Maybe...

Originally Posted by Eliana View Post

Is anyone else out there like me? I want to be put together, I watch "What Not to Wear", but I find shopping overwhelming. Everything seems geared to teens or the elderly.
Hi Eliana~

I didn't check where you live so I'm just throwing this out there...Check your local major department store for a helpful sales person. Here in Seattle, we have Macy's and Nordstrom. Most of them offer personal shopping in the ladies Dept. for free plus free tailoring if you buy your stuff there.

A while back there was an article in the Seattle Sunday paper about a lady who lost a ton of weight that went to Nordstrom to purchase her new wardrobe. She gave the personal shopper her budget and sizes. The personal shopper did the rest. She built a wardrobe on classic pieces (Much like what Stacy and Clinton do). She pulled a lot of the items from the sales racks to save the gal $$. Sales people at major stores make commission plus an hourly rate so there is no charge for this services. They make the extra $ from the commission.

My plan once I get to goal is to make an appointment at Nordstrom and get a nice new wardrobe.

Just so you know, I don't have a ton of money, I work in Social Services so we make peanuts!! Right now I shop at WalMart because they have 3X and they are cheap. I also buy my jeans and work clothes (business casual) at a local thrift store because I'm not spending a ton of money on clothes I won't be in long term.

I do know that you can find classic good pieces that will work in your wardrobe for a long time at a store like Macy's, Nordstrom, etc. From what I remember the lady got a nice new wardrobe for around $600. She was also encouraged to maintain that relationship with the shopper as the service notified customers of sales. You could also ask the shopper to look for the "perfect pair of dark denims for work" and she'd call when she found the pair at the price you like.

I'm 42, so just a little older than you. I identify with a lot of what you said, especially about not wanting to dress older. I feel like I dress like a 60 year old matron right now with tops that come down to cover my belly and a**. I don't want to dress like my 19 year old daughter but sure as heck would like to dress much more age appropriate for a lady in her 40's.

First Mini-Goal: Lose 10 lbs. Met 2/22/2010
Second Mini-Goal: 20 lbs. down Met 4/23/2010
Third Mini-Goal: Lost 10% body weight (27 lbs down) Met 9/13/2010
Fourth Mini-Goal: Lose 8 more lbs to = 40 lbs lost :
Back on track:9/5/2011 First goal: get back to 246
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Old 03-13-2010, 12:36 PM   #6
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I have EXACTLY the same problem!! I went to the mall last weekend and felt like I had emerged from a time capsule. The trendy stores carried childrens' sizes (literally my very normal sized 9 year-old could fit into thier jeans except for the length) and had clothes that were ripped, torn and see-through. The stores that I remembered shopping in before had frumpy clothes. I am almost 31 and consider myself still young, but I have NO IDEA where to shop??

I like Ann Taylor LOFT and some things at Macy's - but that's expensive. Kohl's isn't bad for a cheaper store. I used to like New York & Co. a lot, but this year's styles aren't me. We have a non-mall store here called Cato that I like. It can get frumpy sometimes, but I find cute things in there, too. Also, Maurice's has some fun casual things. I also find things at TJ Maxx and Marshalls. Mostly, though I hve pretty basic looking clothes and wear accessories. I am searching too to find clothes I like. A lot of it is probably my age, but being short and overweight makes it worse.

HW: 225, lost 75lbs in 2011 LW: 150
Losing again starting from 210 5/9/2017

No words of widsom. After years of reflection and dieting, I still don't have this thing figured out.
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Old 03-13-2010, 01:11 PM   #7
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I think a lot of it is about finding stores that fit your style. I would echo that a department store like Macy's is a good place to start - they have a ton of styles and usually run decent sales, so you can try on a bunch and find out what you like.

Also, don't be scared of places like the Gap or Banana Republic. They have great basics and will consistently have sizes through 14 (Gap through 16). Banana Republic's clearance section is my favorite place to find nicer tops.

I hope you find your stride with it - I think you will!

On my way to becoming the best me.
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Old 03-13-2010, 01:18 PM   #8
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well, based on my other thread about having tons of my own old clothing just waiting for me in XLs and size 16, and now reading this, I'm really glad I have clothes that I like in a smaller size!

I don't mind shopping, although I go mostly to places like Marshall and Ross and try to get good bargains. Once I get to the point where I feel like I'm at a stable size, I will probably try to start collecting more classic pieces that I would plan to wear for a long time. Even when I wasn't actively losing weight, I never really PLANNED to stay big, you know? So I never wanted to buy really nice clothing unless I got a crazy good deal on it.
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Old 03-13-2010, 03:22 PM   #9
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I hate shopping but went last night with DH to Ross to pick out some new dresses since mine are to big. Well, let me say I found out my husband has better taste than I do. He acutally picked things with color. I always stick with darker colors. You know the dresses he picked out really look nice and I feel younger not wearing "old lady" dresses anymore. Like you I still consider my self young at 35.

I have a long way to go to goal but it was nice to walk out with 2 size 20W that fit but I will not wear of long. I also came home with 2 18W that I thought I would have to wait till next month to wear but they fit now. Yeah, I have not seen an 18W since 2007.
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Hightest Weight 245:1st mini goal 237.5, Current Weight 230 2nd mini goal 225
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Old 03-13-2010, 05:38 PM   #10
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JC Penney's is always my default for value and style - they have lots of plus
stuff that is fairly inexpensive and good for the 20-35 crowd. Their website is also loaded with stuff.
Taryl - http://www.aurorafiberarts.com/weightloss

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Old 03-13-2010, 07:38 PM   #11
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I really detest shopping. I was hoping it was because of my size and that I would somehow magically come out of my shell.
Give it time. Give it time. It sounds like your still on the cusp of that still barely in plus sized clothing - not quite regular sized clothing. That will change. And then so will your shopping experience! For now, you really don't want to buy all that much as you probably won't be where you are for all that long. I know you're probably busting to do some shopping, but hang tight. I too would stick to strictly the sale racks. I'd even go to a TArget or similar store for now. But hang on - there really IS so much fun to be had shopping when you can do so wear whatever you want in every single little store. You will develop your own sense of style. It's great to pick out clothing based on what you really like, as opposed to just whatever covers you (like I did for yearrrrssss.)

So yes, I used to DETEST clothes shopping.

Now, it is one of the best-est things in the world!!!!!
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Old 03-13-2010, 08:03 PM   #12
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I am another one who feels lost in the clothing stores now. When DD visits in July we are going to go shopping. She thinks that she can help me find clothes and I hope that she is right!

Persistence is more important than Perfection

Continuous effort - not strength or intelligence - is the key to unlocking our potential. - Winston Churchill
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Old 03-13-2010, 08:57 PM   #13
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I would try TJ Maxx or Marshalls if you have one near you, they have a wide array of styles and sizes.

For the record I LOVE shopping. I even used to enjoy going to Lane Bryant. To me nothing is more fun than buying, then wearing a new outfit!
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Old 03-13-2010, 08:59 PM   #14
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I shop a lot at Avenue......they have your sizes, but then thing I like is that the clothes are more TRUER sizes, a size 14 at Calvin Klein is probably really a size 12.

I use a lot of necklaces/jewelry - my clothes are pretty simple, but I add the jewels and it can really a difference. I guess my look is more 'classic'

I shop at Nordstrom too - SALES only. It's also a good place if you need something special.

Penney's also have some good sales, I mean I have found skirts for $5.
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Old 03-13-2010, 09:03 PM   #15
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I was having the same thought today, leafing through a catalog that only carries normal sizes... but they go up to 18. It was the weirdest thought knowing that pretty much everything in the catalog would fit me-- but I had NO CLUE what would look good.

I'm 48 and I've been in plus sizes since age 30. YIKES!

Success consists of going from failure to failure without loss of enthusiasm.--Winston Churchill
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