Forgive me for being direct, but it sounds like you need to get excited about "you" and not weight loss necessarily. Loving yourself and respecting your body and needs are not a requirement, but without them the journey is 1000X harder.
Emotions stink. They can cause us serious pain. It's amazing how much lack of pleasure we will sustain to avoid pain. "I won't go to the party, because I will be the biggest one there." "I don't want to let anyone get close to me because relationships eventually end anyway." "I am going to eat a cheeseburger rather than the veggies because losing weight means dealing with some issues I can't think about right now."
I promise that the journey of self-discovery and inflection is a very difficult one. There will be times of incredible grief and fear. You might feel nautious, cry and shake. In fact, I can almost guarantee it. But, I will tell you a secret - you can get through it. It won't kill you. Feelings eventually subside and then you get a great clarity. Thoughts make more sense. I cry. I even let other people see me do it. It's okay. It's natural and normal and everyone does it. But, I laugh too. I have a loud, infectious laugh. I never knew that before. Once you challenge the thing that's keeping you from loving your life, you realize that you can do all kinds of things. You'll feel so strong and capable. You'll feel proud of yourself. Then, it just multiplies. It spills over into other areas of your life.
Please, take the time to learn about you and how great you are. Challenge those sources of pain. Get through to the other side where all kinds of emotions are. Life is better there. Please get help if you need it on this. Seeing a therapist is a sign of strength. It can give you your life back.