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Old 01-26-2010, 06:00 PM   #1  
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Unhappy I Need Help. I'm Scared.

3fc, I have been struggling with my weight, my entire life. At 5 years old, I was 90 pounds.

At 12, I was 180 pounds.

Now at 22, I am 293 pounds.

I know I always seem bright and cheery on this site. Always being helpful and offering up advice and congratulations, but I'm starting to feel like an alcoholic preaching to people not to drink, while holding a beer in my hand.

I know, I know. Eat right and exercise. Calories in vs. calories out. It's so simple. On paper.
Applying it to your actual life is a completely different story.

I'll start with something very basic. I am addicted to soda. Actually, not even that. Just Dr. Pepper. I am addicted to Dr. Pepper. Within an hour of waking up in the morning, I am having my bf get me a 32 oz fountain soda. And most likely, I'll have one or two more before the day is through. I quit soda cold turkey once for a month. I don't even have any idea what happened, but how I wish it hadn't.

Also, as soon as the bf and I have extra money, we immediately head to Burger King, or McDonald's, or some sort of fast food/pizza place. And honestly, this isn't really extra money. We struggle financially, so the eating out and the 3 a day sodas needs to stop. We are living below poverty level. We need to learn to control our money.

We're on foodstamps, $239 monthly. Once, we tried getting almost everything health food, but it took all our foodstamps, and less than two weeks later we were completely out of food. (not because we eat a lot, but because healthy food is so expensive, we couldn't get much in the first place)
For Christmas we got a rice and vegetable steamer, and we've been using it like it's our job. Lots of veggies in our meals. But that still doesn't counteract the cookies, and the frosting, and the soda, and the fast food, and the candy and chips.

A few weeks ago he bought me the Jillian Michaels workout dvd. I did the 5 minute warm-up one time, and haven't so much as glanced at it since.

I'm scared, 3fc. I have no self-control or self-discipline, obviously. I am clinically depressed largely in part due to my weight problems. I recognize how poor my health is and exactly what I need to do, but no matter how much I'm hurting, apparently food is more important to me.

I think I may need professional help. *sigh*

I am not happy with myself, 3fc. Not at all.
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:10 PM   #2  
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chin up sweetpea, you can do it and the only person stopping you is yourself just try to focus and plan your meals and take one day at a time as if you were an alcoholic ! lol xxxx
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:19 PM   #3  
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My heavens! I am so sorry to hear you say this because you are someone I think of as being upbeat and positive but you don't have to put up a front for anyone. We are all here because we have something in common. If we could or did control our eating, none of would be in our current or former situation so you really don't need to impress us. No one is judging you for what you did then or what you are doing now. Your statement that food is more important than you is very indicative of food addiction but unlike alcohol, we need food to survive so what to do? If I could give you some unsolicited advice it would be just try to make one healthy decision every day then let that snowball from one day to the next. Drink your Dr. Pepper but also have a glass of water and switch off every sip. The next day get a smaller size soda, so on and so forth until the soda is totally phased out. (I know what you are going through. I dearly love Coke and I miss it but it makes me feel like a sloth so I have to resist.) If you can focus on making each day healthier than the last I think you will feel better physically and mentally in no time.
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:20 PM   #4  
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I used to have a real problem with pop (as we say it in Minnesota, where I'm from). I'd seriously have a 'pack a day habit', as in I would drink a full 12 pack of pop every day.

Yeah, that's bad for you.

Something that's helped me stop drinking pop is by drinking crystal lit type drinks instead. Since I hate water (it doesn't taste good) I flavor it instead.

Granted, one of my favorite things about pop is the carbonation. I still haven't found a way around that, though.

Here's the thing about healthy food at the grocery store: the stuff that's touted as healthy will be more expensive. But stuff that's naturally healthy but doesn't advertise won't be. So, get some cans of vegetables. Those are usually less than a dollar a can. Buy the fresh veggies and fruits that are on sale. Buy sale fish and turkey fresh from the meat department rather than the stuff packaged in the frozen section. There's ways around it, I promise.

Although, McDs will always be cheaper, you're trading health for money. Think of it that way. Is the savings of a few bucks worth staying so heavy and unhealthy?
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:21 PM   #5  
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You are not alone! Healthy food is more spendy but, you can do it! My hubby and I also struggle finacially but I watch all the sale adds to get some of the food that we need! I also watch my portions if the box says there are four portions then I use it for four portions not one.
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Old 01-26-2010, 06:24 PM   #6  
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Hold on there ! Nothing you are having a problem with is out of your control.
You have a choice, and it is so clear. Either change your habits, or learn to live with the consequences. You need to get yourself off all that high fructose corn syrup and scary fake food you are "addicted" to and yes, it is an addiction.... Did anyone say it was going to be easy ? It will only get done if you DO it. You have to really want it, but you can do it. You can do it. You have the power over this.
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Old 01-26-2010, 07:47 PM   #7  
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We've all been there. I think it's amazing that you've recognized the problem and the need to change your behaviors. If losing weight was a simple "calories-in vs. calories-out" no one would be overweight, so don't beat yourself up if you're struggling, you're only human. For me, losing weight has been completely mental and my biggest struggle is with myself and my own self-destructive impulses. Like you fast food was a regular staple in my diet (it's was just so darn convenient). To curb my fast food behaviors I cut-up my debit card and started keeping minimal cash in my wallet & home (it's easy to pass McDonald's or not order pizza when you have no money on hand, lol). I never had a soda addiction so I don't have much advice other than to try and slowly wean yourself off it to a healthy option (it's like quitting smoking, going cold turkey rarely works).

For those of us struggling with food issues, expecting drastic changes immediately is sort of unrealistic and it just sets you up for failure. Try making a few very small changes (like drinking 1 glass of water for each glass of soda, making X number of meals at home in a week, ...) and go with that for awhile. Then after a few weeks make a few more changes. It'll take time, and it's not always easy but if you start small you will get healthy. Stay strong and remember we're all here for you no matter what!
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:15 PM   #8  
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Please keep it coming ladies. You all help tremendously. Thank you.
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:18 PM   #9  
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I've had the pop addiction and I had to quit cold turkey. I drink only water. The longest sting I've ever had without pop has been 6 months. Right now I'm going on 2.5 months. I keep track much like an alcoholic, don't I? I get the comparison. I can tell you that the longer I do it, the easier it gets, but I know I can not have another pop. Right now what keeps me going is knowing I don't want to drink my calories. I can have an apple with peanut butter for around 200 calories, or I can have a can Coke. When I'm hungry, the Coke just doesn't tempt me.

You can do this! You know that! You can do this just like everyone else you've given advice to. It IS within your control, just not without effort...a lot of effort. Get one good day of eating under your belt, and then another, and another, and by the end of about 3 days you'll be over the hump.
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:30 PM   #10  
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Well, first I would like to say that I am impressed with how honest your post was. It takes a lot of courage to look at yourself and admit where you go wrong.

For me, sometimes it's the smallest things that can make me feel terrible, which ends up causing many other things to spiral quickly downhill.

The soda thing is awful - I mean, awful to try and quit. Believe me, I was totally addicted to Coca Cola, so I know what you mean.

I think you probably have a lot of things you would like to quit doing, which is making it quite overwhelming for you. Could you possibly focus on one thing that you are pretty sure you can cut out without it being too traumatic, and just do that first?

I like HoneyBJones idea of switching each soda out with water and then gradually tapering off.

Or, is there something else you can cut out instead that you can make a commitment to?

What I'm saying is, sometimes if you can do just ONE healthy happy thing per day, the rest of the healthy happy things start becoming easier.

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Old 01-26-2010, 08:31 PM   #11  
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Do you have a Aldi's store near you. I swear they have the best prices for produce and many healthy things. I know it costs to join Sam's or Costcos. Aldi's doesn't require that.

Tonight - PLAN what you will eat tomorrow. Planning really helps - then you don't have to think about it all day. Take it one meal at a time.

Don't give can do this. I am glad you posted.

Last edited by Beverlyjoy; 01-26-2010 at 08:36 PM.
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:40 PM   #12  
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You sound so much like me from a few years ago . . .

Back when I was living with my ex boyfriend, we were dirt-poor, struggling to make ends meet. Yet we still bought fast food and ordered take-out like it was going out of style! And the soda . . . oh the soda! I dread to think about how much I was consuming back then. No clue how much now actually. But I was depressed and felt lost over how to get better.

I looked to food to escape, but when that wasn't enough I looked to alcohol. You can imagine how much of a mess the latter put me in!

I think I've blocked a lot of that out now actually. That was when I was in my late 20's and got to my highest weight of 360 pounds. Luckily it sounds like you and your BF are on the same page with looking for healthier options . . . bless you both for that! I'd lost weight before and had an idea of what to do, but as I was struggling to look for healthier options and ways to change for the better that time around, my ex was quite happy with our situation and fought me every step of the way, which of course made things all the more difficult for me.

I snapped one day while shopping at a Fashion Bug, when I realized that none of the jeans in the plus size section would even begin to fit me. Who knows why that was my wake-up call of all things, especially when my health had declined horribly for someone my age (I blacked out several times, nearly did once while driving, had asthma and horrible bladder issues . . . the list goes on).

Sorry, I don't mean to get into my life story here, but I wanted you to know that I relate. A lot of us do. It's so easy to say what we need to do but quite another to actually buckle down to do it. I've lost over 110 pounds since then, yet have found myself slipping as I do every so often. I'm currently taking some time out today to re-evaluate what I'm doing, what it is I need to do, and looking for what steps I need to take to get myself back on track.

You know, I've struggled with soda ever since I've lived on my own. I'd switch to diet every so often thinking it was a healthier option, but started to get horrid migraines from the artificial sweetener a couple years back. So then I switched back to regular soda and had more than ever! Would easily go through a dozen cans in a day as recently as last year. One day this summer I decided enough was enough and quit cold turkey, and let me tell you, it was much more difficult to me than quitting smoking and alcohol combined! With one major exception, I haven't ordered or bought myself any soda since August. I don't know how to recommend anyone else attempting that, but what worked for me was reminding myself how sick the artificially sweetened kind made me and telling myself that the regular stuff did even worse things to me beneath the surface . . . I can't let either of them be an option for me, no matter what, and literally have to remind myself every so often.

While I had some soda when I was sick with the stomach flu a few weeks ago (7-up was the only thing my stomach seemed to handle), I stopped drinking it immediately after. And immediately started craving sweets! Sigh . . . even under the circumstances I think the soda was a trigger for me, and another sign that I'm one of those people that just needs to stay away from it completely. All I typically drink these days is water (of course), grapefruit juice in moderate amounts, unsweetened cranberry juice (for my bladder health), and plain iced tea as a treat whenever I go out.

Whatever it is that will get you through this, you'll find it. And in the meantime, we've been there and we understand . . . and we are all here for you. Take care of yourself.
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Old 01-26-2010, 08:50 PM   #13  
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Originally Posted by Beverlyjoy View Post
Do you have a Aldi's store near you. I swear they have the best prices for produce and many healthy things. I know it costs to join Sam's or Costcos. Aldi's doesn't require that.
WalMart Super Stores have great prices too. Also, look for Grocery Outlet or WinCo Foods.

At Grocery Outlet, I shop for just one person and comfortably spend about $50 every two weeks and i get about 6 bags of groceries each trip. I do not buy tv dinners or junk food though, just trying to get more whole foods and healthy stuff. Best of Luck to you.
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:04 PM   #14  
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Lightbulb It'll be ok....

It's ok, we all go there sometimes... and depression doesn't help.... I feel like we have the same struggle, I bet we all do sometimes. Here's some things that might help:

maybe get some help with the depression?
On the soda note: maybe get fizzy water and put some juice in it? if not that, wal-mart has diet ones that are fizzy, they're ok... I freeze mine and let em patially thaw, theyre great but lose carbonation when fully thawed.

Jump back on the weight loss wagon when you're ready, we'll be here. Basically when your mood is better and you find (even sometimes) a way around the addictions (each one is a battle) it might be a tad easier. Maybe find something fun to take your mind off things.

as for fast food, ah dear... that's a good part of how I got here... 3x a week at mcds eating a large fry, 2-3 burgers and some chicken nuggets and a shake!! (yep pretty much every time) It really is addictive, I think they know that. Basically, try not to have to pass by one as much as possible, and your family might have to try not to get you there too. Maybe try sub-way (depending of course) or a salad place when you go out? Shoot, my binge a few days ago was totally mcds!! IT WILL happen, it'll be ok!

Naughty food blues hun...
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Old 01-26-2010, 09:06 PM   #15  
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I want to say the perfect thing to make you feel better and to help you get on the right track but I just don't know what that perfect thing is. Gracie is right, we have all been there. marigrace is also right, nothing you are having a problem with is out of your control.

I know that I have a food addiction, primarily to sugar and it sounds like you do to. Getting past that craving is the hardest part. I had to go without the sugar and do low carb for 2 or 3 weeks before the cravings got better but once the cravings were gone, I could have more carbs. I have to stay away from the sugar though. I feel so free without the cravings and never want to be under that control again.

You are so wise to see your problem at 22. I wish I had. I spent the last 30 years morbidly obese and missed out on many things because of it. I want to encourage you to get this under control while you are still young. You don't want to spend the next 30 years like this.

Healthy food is expensive but so are "the cookies, and the frosting, and the soda, and the fast food, and the candy and chips". Have you ever figured the price of chips per pound? There are lots of discussions here at 3fc on how to eat healthy on a budget but, to be honest, it does not sound like your main problem is money. It sounds like it is craving the junk.

Please know that you can do this!
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