Hello!

Well actually I wasn't away in the strict sense. And it's not the case that I haven't been posting because I've been sliding off-plan or anything. Really

This week I've had two days of state language exams (I'm an expat and in order to train for the career I'm considering I need proof that my command of the language is adequate - plus I want a piece of paper from the government certifying that I can speak it! ) and oh lord the stress associated with it was not to be trifled with!

You know how we sometimes mention on here how there's this dichotomy between how we see ourselves in the mirror, and how others see us? Like, to our eyes we look much fatter than we "objectively" are?

I had that, but then with my language skills. I've lived here for over half a decade (lawsie mercy!) and every "native" person, as well as the other immigrants I've met, have told me that my language skills are excellent and that I'll have no problem passing the exams. Try telling that to me, though.

So the last two or three weeks have been spent stressing about these four exams on Wednesday and Thursday. Quite apart from the exams, Thursday turned out to be a completely bizarre day - first train delays, and then (I still don't quite believe this) a guy I don't know from Adam walked up to me and asked for my number. Just like that. Colour me confused!! Apparently he was really shy when he asked me, but that was because (and I quote) "because of [my] beauty"

And then yesterday I had dinner at a friend's house. We hadn't seen each other in a couple of years and the first thing she said when she saw me was "You're so skinny!" Anyway, we had a great evening catching up.

So long story short, I've been really, really busy and by the time I've got back home I've barely had enough puff to open my laptop, let alone post here But that's about to change!

Here's some accountability:

Each day: about 1700 cals (between 1500 and 1900)
Monday: workout with PT
Tuesday: bellydancing
Thursday: Zumba (yea, I know, but it's the closest I could find!)
Friday: more torture with PT

I'm pretty happy with that exercise schedule for the moment. At some point I'd like to get back into running, but I'm not enthusiastic about doubling up on any one day (Wednesdays I've got choir, which involves a round trip of 16km cycling), and the weekends wouldn't be too practical.

So I'm going to try and keep to this food/exercise plan for a few weeks and see what happens.

Do you guys have some feedback on this for me?

Welcome back, Salsa, and congrats on getting the language exam done. It sounds pretty intimidating!!!

Welcome back!

A quote from you:
You know how we sometimes mention on here how there's this dichotomy between how we see ourselves in the mirror, and how others see us? Like, to our eyes we look much fatter than we "objectively" are?

See for me...I think I don't see myself as really "big" as I am. Therefore I don't sense the seriousness of my size...like I say to myself "Ah, I'm not that big" When I am morbidity obese.

Wow what GREAT compliments you received this week! And how cool is it that you accepted them! HOOT 4 u!

Thanks! Unfortunately I now have to wait over a month before my results are available online, and another week after that before I get them in the post. Grrrrr! But at least it's now over!

Oh, I think I had that too, a little while back. Before I started losing weight. But then I was in denial about lots of things too, so maybe for me the whole body thing was part of that.

As for the compliments: it's so, so weird. From my friend I could smile and giggle and talk about it. From a guy I'd never met before? Nothing but creepy. I realise that he's likely just an honest chap who drummed up the courage to talk to a pretty lady, but I have absolutely no idea how to respond to something like that - to a guy showing interest in me. And that's something I should probably learn, because according to some facebook friends I'm a right looker. And I would like to be chased, really

Oh, well, it's all good conversation fodder for my next appt with the therapist! I blame my mother :P

Silly question:

This week I've had two days of state language exams (I'm an expat and in order to train for the career I'm considering I need proof that my command of the language is adequate - plus I want a piece of paper from the government certifying that I can speak it! ) and oh lord the stress associated with it was not to be trifled with!

What language? What do you want to do with your government piece of paper? I haven't ever heard of this...this is so exciting. You do write eloquently!

Welcome back! Sounds like a great exercise plan!

So what did you do? Did you give him your number? I don't think I've ever just been approached and asked for my number cold like that, so I'm curious about what I should do. y'know.... if it happens.

A language spoken on mainland Europe I'm kind of shy about my location

I'm thinking of training as a teacher, and because the vernacular here isn't my mother tongue, I'd need this diploma before I could start the teacher training degree. Plus I'd like to have it as a personal achievement - I think it would help in learning how to not think that I'm a fat ugly dumba** klutz who's useless at everything.

Thanks for the compliment

Thank you! I'm still getting used to it but I think it's going to be ok for the moment. I'm thinking about slotting in some running on Sunday and Wednesday mornings, but we'll see....

ah, yes! the heartbreaking begins! color me not surprised!

so cool you're doing the bellydancing. I see them at that Y with the coin belts and it really looks fun. I liked my PT, but I will admit at times it did feel like torture, heh heh.

I would never have guessed in a gazillion years you weren't a native English speaker, you're more eloquent that me, no doubt about it, ha.

well, I have to separate myself from my pc and go to the gym. late getting out today. applying for jobs

I've been considering how to reply to this, because I've been a bit of a fool

When he first asked me, it knocked me for six. Really. The whole whattheheckareyoucrazycan'tyouseehowuglyIam-reflex kicked in and I said "I'll think about it."

Then I had my second exam of the day and was heading home when he caught up with me and thrust a bit of paper and a pencil under my nose. So I wrote down my (first) name and number and then scarpered.

I should have just said "no". I feel something like a slut (and someone's facebook comment has helped in that ). Oh well, if there's a next time then I should at least practise saying, "No, but thanks very much for asking, I'm flattered."

Don't know that this was any help to you, sorry

*grin* I'd like to bask in your compliment about my English skills, but I am actually a native English speaker.

I dunno if I've broken his heart, maybe he's a bit disappointed that I haven't got in touch with him, but I reckon he'll get over it soon enough (arrgh, there's my negative self-talk again).

facebook can be a weird world, maybe because I'm older.

did you have any interest in a date? innocent, non-committal cup o' joe? ha
We rented and watched Love Actually this weekend, so I think I have romance on my mind.

a few weeks back, bf and I were at a local mall shopping. a guy was going up the escalator to the left of us, while we were on going down. Bf stood behind me. Well, this guy turns and starts singing to me (I forget the song, some pop romance song). Bf says to him, "You must be singing to me!" (as in, because you'd better not be singing to my gf!). I laughed about that for days.

sometimes it does the ol' ego good to get some romantic attention, ha.

I'm sure he wanted you to call.