I think a lot of the improved self esteem after weight loss, for some people, comes not just from the weight loss itself, but from having tackled a difficult problem and succeeded. That (in any area of life) improves self esteem and happiness.

Hmmmm.....this is a good question.

For me I didn't have self esteem issues until 2007 and it was a combination of my weight, putting everyone else's needs before my own and just losing my whole identity...I wasn't me anymore I was just a wife/mom and I just wanted more. I beat up on myself pretty bad and wound up seriously depressed. Before then I never let my weight be a deciding factor in any part of my life (after I gained it...I was a normal weight before having kids) and basically thought that I could do anything if I try.

So to answer your question it's an individual thing...I have overweight friends that love themselves and do not let weight effect their actions and I have overweight friends that let their weight be a big factor on why they don't enjoy life.

I'm with the OP - my selfworth is not caught up in my weight. I'd be way more devastated with a intellectual failure than a weight related failure. I've been fat a long time, I'm over it. I've never sat alone at night crying about being fat and eating icing from a can LOL that's only in movies (bad ones at that). I hate the way TBL portrays the contestants - that EVERY single one of them has some horrible trauma or are emotional wrecks. Sometimes, people are just lazy and in denial and time goes by and you wake up 100 lbs. heavier because you're spoiled and self-indulgent. I changed that, I didn't cry about it.

Originally Posted by CLCSC145:
I was told by my dad in high school that no one would ever consider marrying me unless I lost weight (my BMI was on the high end normal then). It's hard to develop good self-esteem with that nonsense floating around.

Oh, my goodness, fathers and the things that come out of their mouths. When my sister got married, my dad paid for her wedding. Then he offered to pay for my graduate degree because 'it's not like you're going to get married'. Thanks, Dad!

I took the money, because I'm not an idiot. And now that I've lost almost 100 pounds, my dad LOVES to brag about me. (I'm still single, though, and he still sees that as a major flaw. Some things never change!)

Originally Posted by Trazey34:
I've never sat alone at night crying about being fat and eating icing from a can LOL that's only in movies (bad ones at that).

Everyone's different, though! It's not wrong to be emotionally troubled by weight and it's not wrong to NOT be. We're the sum of our experiences and those are never the same.

Originally Posted by thistoo:
Oh, my goodness, fathers and the things that come out of their mouths. When my sister got married, my dad paid for her wedding. Then he offered to pay for my graduate degree because 'it's not like you're going to get married'. Thanks, Dad!

I took the money, because I'm not an idiot. And now that I've lost almost 100 pounds, my dad LOVES to brag about me. (I'm still single, though, and he still sees that as a major flaw. Some things never change!)

Ack! Good for you for taking the cash. :D I know he was just worried about me and would probably be horrified to know that 20 years later that comment still hurts. And it certainly doesn't help that it turned out to be true!!