starting again... and again, and again
 

hey ladies,

not sure if this is the right place to post this, but just wanting to know, how do yall get back on the wagon around holiday season?? i've been dieting my entire life, probably the same story as yall, but i'm just lost as to how to start.

i wake up every morning saying that today will be different, and sometimes i eat really healthily and exercise for a couple of days or even a couple of weeks, but i'm with friends on holiday now (in a different city) and it just feels so embarrassing to say "sorry i can't eat (whatever food), i'm trying to lose weight", especially because they know i've tried so many times that they say it won't last so i "might as well just eat it..." plus i know when i go home my family (who have weight issues of their own) are going to be cooking for christmas, and i'll have to help, and it sounds stupid but i would feel embarrassed to not eat the food because i always jump up and eat all the food, it's really noticeable if i'm eating differently and again my family say it won't last. then it's the old "you've fallen off your diet so binge..." time.
i'm really struggling to think of changing my thinking to make it a lifestyle change for the rest of my life, bingeing is just such an ingrained habit (again i'm sure yall would understand!). part of me is reluctant to focus on my health because "i can start after new year" but i have given myself sooo many deadlines throughout my life... after my job break starts, after this big party, after this exam, and it never happens.

so how are you ladies going to get through the christmas season? (i dont live in the us so didn't celebrate thanksgiving) and how do you start up the momentum again? i feel like i'm at a point where my desire to lose weight is almost stronger than my desire to binge, and i can often recognise when im bingeing because i'm bored or stressed etc, it's just those snap decisions when people are around me offering me food that i could do without that ruin my momentum.

ive been following this forum for about a year and find you all incredibly inspiring :)

Welcome!

I guess for me, I consider a holiday meal, just that, ONE meal. You just can't blow your entire weight loss effort in one meal. Sure, you can throw things off for the week with one meal, but you're only going to have real trouble if you extend your holiday meal after meal, day after day, week after week.

My suggestion is, don't feel the need to explain yourself to your friends. It's very possible to eat out with others and not go crazy or to eat a small portion. No one needs to know you are trying to lose weight. What you order or what you leave on your plate is no one else's business. If you don't draw attention to it, others will likely not even notice.

You can do it! It's a matter of setting your mind to it and just doing it, excuses be damned. I'm a binger too, so I understand the compulsion, but if you don't give yourself permission to abuse food and find other outlets for your emotions, it is possible to stop binging and the compulsions do lessen over time. Good luck!

I agree- and if they say anything say "oh I'm not that hungry" and change the subject :)

Lots of veggies and fruits and filling up on water!

One thing I've learned in all this, is that my life and my choices and my looks are not the focal point of everyone ELSE'S life!!!! lol my friends could give a $hit about what I have for dinner, or what i don't want to eat, they want to hang out with ME and talk to ME and laugh with ME. We project so many of our own thoughts and insecurities on to other people and just assume they're thinking this or that about us, it's so silly and counter productive and time consuming! ugh! did i mention silly???? just do what you need to do, don't apologize for it, don't be a b!tch about it either, just be :)

I don't think I would appreciate my friends and family telling me I'm going to fail so I might as well quit before I start... not very supportive.

I'd just leave things matter of fact. That's what I've had to do with the people around me. "I'm doing this because I want to." "I don't need your approval." "It's my body and I'll eat what I want." Don't give them any room to try to push you around.

The fact is only you can control yourself. You may feel pressure from them but unless they are all piling on top of you and force feeding you then the only one who can control what is going in your mouth is YOU.

I got started at this time of year because I saw my cousin who's lost 100 lbs! I was jealous.

But this is also the third time I've started at this time of year. I actually think this time of year is perfect. For me, it's easier to get through the holidays at the beginning because that's when you're most motivated. Everything is new and the motivation to succeed is high.

As for the actual meals, I take half or less of what I'd normal serve myself and don't deprive myself of anything. And my biggest secret is small bites and chewing slowly.

Minute by minute, bite by bite, literally. Starting this second. I pay attention to what is going into my mouth NOW without a lot of thinking about the past/future bites. Just try to make "this present bite" a good, healthy one.

And IF a meal or bite or whatever comes along that is unhealthy, ok, but if you eat well 90% of the time the other 10% takes care of itself, IMO.

As far as your friends, well, that is just wrong. A real friend should never tell you that you are going to fail. Sometimes a lifestyle change begins with changing your playmates and your playground. You need to surround yourself with like mined people and stop playing with the bullies. It's not healthy, even if you never decided to do anything about your weight. Also remember though, that not one of those people are force feeding you. Every single bite has been ultimately your decision. You have ALL the power. ALL of it.

Before I started my weight loss I often felt sorry for myself. (Sometimes I still do!). One day I was in a heap of self pity because of my morbid obesity and for some strange reason I started thinking of my son. He's 17 years old and has some pretty serious developmental delays. He suffers from autism and bless his heart, he tries 10X's harder to do things that most people take for granted. His autism in non-curable. He has gone though dozens of different treatments and nothing seems to pull him out of his own world. So here I am feeling sorry for myself because I have a "disorder" that I totally 100% have complete control over. I COULD cure myself. I can't cure my son, (God knows I've tried), he'll be autistic for the rest of his life, but I could make MY life better, and in turn be a better Mother to him by taking care of my own problems. I hope I'm making sence and not sounding too harsh. It was just a realization I made one day. It was just another major turning point in my life. Just think of all the people dealing with life threatening illness, diseases and disorders and all the doctors, money and prayer can't cure them...and then there is the extra 60 pounds you are holding onto that you CAN change. You CAN change that. I hope that you do. You need to let go of the embarrasements you feel, and just be honest with yourself and your family. :hug:

Ack, we were just talking about this in another thread,I copied and pasted and added a few more holidays and events in:

That's the thing. We say to ourselves, "well Thanksgiving is just ONE day". But what about Christmas Eve, Christmas Day and all the oodles of parties leading up to it, New Years Eve, Valentine's Day, Easter, Halloween, Family birthdays, Anniversaries, Weddings, Labor Day, Memorial Day, 4th of July, Super bowl party, social functions, business events, office parties, vacations and on and on and on. Seems like there's a celebration every single week!! That's a heckuva lot more then just ONE DAY. All of those ONE DAYS really add up.

Each one of those days can't be a free for all, IMO. I like to look at my social calender for the month ahead and DECIDE BEFORE HAND which events I will splurge at and which one's I will stay firmly on track for. And having made the decision ahead of time, I enjoy each event equally - the ones where I splurge - and the ones where I don't.

As far as family and friends, you have to love yourself more then you care what others think of you. No explanations are necessary more so then, "I just don't feel like eating that now.". It's no ones business. You have to be strong and stay FOCUSED and remember what it is you want the MOST from life. Bad habits CAN be changed - if you allow it to happen. If you MAKE it happen. You must work through the initial discomfort of trying something new (eating healthy).

Stop making excuses and stop with starting dates. DECIDE to be a health - minded, health conscious, fit, trim and all that you can be - person TODAY and every day. You can tomorrow away your life....

Whoa...there were lots of great responses here!

For me I had to make a decision to make changes. Even if I didn't want to. Somewhere I got the idea I could eat whatever I wanted, whenever I wanted. WOW! No I can't! Well I can if I want to continue to be morbidly obese I can continue to eat whatever & whenever I want. I don't want that anymore. This is painful. This is not easy. But I can do it. One bite at a time. One minute at a time. One hour at a time. I can do this.

Keep coming back! You can do this too!

This is a good thread. I needed to read this today. I ate everything in site last night, a true binge. Now I need to eat healthy. NOW. Thank you everyone for your great responses and something to think about.