Green Eyed Monster VS. My Sister... - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

Kae · 11-05-2009, 03:17 PM

Jealousy is an ugly emotion... and even harder to deal with when it's your sister. I've been struggling with my own little green-eyed monster lately. My weight has become erratic since I started exercising a few weeks ago. Up, down, staying the same... I seem to be getting nowhere fast.

My sister decided to join in. We've been working out together and she is losing weight so easily... I just don't understand it. She never watches her calories. She rarely drinks water. Her food consumption over the last 2 days (according to her!) has consisted of: a pot of coffee, approx. 40 tootsie rolls, 6 beers, 3 margaritas, restaurant quesadillas with extra sour cream and queso dip, chips, lots of spaghetti, and so on and so on. And she's lost 3 lbs!

Meanwhile, I'm being very good... watching my calories, drinking tons of water, watching my salt instake, and eating NO candy or junk food. And I gained 2 lbs!

Now, I'm not crazy. I know there are lots of reasons this could be possible... so the rational part of me is just trying to blow it off and keep going. And I really am happy for my sister having success. BUT, I can't deny it's hard to watch her eat anything and everything she wants and drop weight when I am trying so hard and stuck. Ugh, I hate feeling jealous.

It's always been this way with my 2 sisters and I. Like an unspoken competition. Both of my sisters have literally told me that when I start losing weight, they have to also because I can't be skinnier than them. So messed up...

Any advice?

HeaterAS · 11-05-2009, 03:47 PM

((hugs)) look how far you've come. You've experienced weight loss that most people can't even imagine in a lifetime. 47 lbs! Wow! I can tell you I've never lost that much weight.
Focus on you. I know it's hard but you'll drive yourself crazy if you compare yourself to your sister.
And know that while she might be working to lose weight with her alcohol and candy diet....you are working towards health.

tiffany0809 · 11-05-2009, 03:53 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by HeaterAS

And know that while she might be working to lose weight with her alcohol and candy diet....you are working towards health.

I agree 100%. You are building a lifestyle that you can sustain and will keep you healthy. Hopefully she will catch on and you can have a supportive relationship instead of a competitive one.

beerab · 11-05-2009, 03:57 PM

Right now she's not really getting nutrients but anyone who continues that diet will eventually gain again...

You've come a long way- and I'm sure when you reach your goal they'll have issues with their weight still.

FitGirlyGirl · 11-05-2009, 04:04 PM

What they said. Plus, no matter what she's eating her results would be faster right now because she is new to trying to lose. Look at how much the people on the biggest loser take off the first week compared to what they usually do in later weeks. You've been at it longer and so it is slower now. Your loss is healthier though and more likely to be permanent. If she wants to continue losing she will have to change her diet eventually and when she is going through the beginning stages of that, the time when the cravings are horrid, then it will be her turn to be jealous of you because you won't be having a hard time because you've been doing it all along.

Kae · 11-05-2009, 04:07 PM

Thank you for your responses. I really appreciate it. I know her poor diet will catch up with her eventually... it will probably be easier for me to maintain once I get to goal than it will be for her because I am used to eating healthier... and she has told me she thinks you can eat anything you want as long as you exercise. But even as far as general health, I am feeding my body what it needs.

Thanks again...

beerab · 11-05-2009, 04:14 PM

OMG pft- that's just like my friend. I started dieting and he saw I was losing so he joined a gym and like 2 weeks into it he told me he'd lost 8 lbs, I told him that was great and at that time I think I'd just lost 9 lbs.

Since then I have lost about 30 lbs, he's STILL at 8... He eats like crap but goes to the gym- I told him that isn't going to work long term...

Now he can see I am still losing and I haven't heard him mention ONE WORD about weightloss since then lol. If people aren't willing to do what it takes then they won't lose after a while.

Kae · 11-05-2009, 04:24 PM

Thanks all...

I know I need to separate myself from my family with this whole weight loss thing. It's ok to workout with my sister but I need to keep the focus on me. Right now my sister is losing while eating terrible, but like you said it will stop eventually. At which point, I hope she can continue losing in a healthy way..... Eating disorders tend to run in my family and I am the only one among my mom and sisters who hasn't dabbled in them. I know the tendancy is there and I don't wanna even tempt myself with all that. Just gotta keep on truckin'...

Thanks!!!

Arctic Mama · 11-05-2009, 05:25 PM

Slow and steady wins the race - losing two or three pounds in the first week of a new diet is common, the trick comes in when we're talking about sustaining the loss and overall health. You have lost 47 pounds, that is wonderful! And no matter what yours sisters do or don't do, you STILL have your 47 pound loss and a lifetime of health to maintain. As tempting as competition may be, what YOU are doing is working and you have real success to account for it. Pizza and alcohol may sound delicious, but even as she drops a few pounds she is harming her body while doing it. YOU are the winner of this scenario, not her, and every pound you healthfully lose is another victory.

Keep up the AMAZING work and try not to let their pettiness get you down

VickieLou · 11-05-2009, 06:18 PM

Kae on losing almost 50 LBS! You are being a postive role model to your sisters. Right now they don't see it. But as you get closer to your goal and her bad diet back fires they will realize it. Keep Up the Great Work!
I have a sister who weighs 130 and same height as me. My other sister is maybe 30 LBS overweight. It is hard sometime knowing how much I have to lose yet. But just have to keep trying.

RN BSN 2009 · 11-05-2009, 06:26 PM

yikes, alcohol is just empty calories!

cherry7211 · 11-05-2009, 07:37 PM

I'm the biggest one of the girls in my family so of course I get jelous of them bcause they can share clothes and stuff but since I started eatn healthier and losing weight they have stayed the same and even though they don't say it they are now jelous of me I can tell lol who knows maybe ur sis is jelous of you

thistoo · 11-05-2009, 07:45 PM

Are you sure you're eating *enough*? I have that problem sometimes and then I gain/plateau.

Your sister's loss won't keep up forever if she sticks with her current diet. Your loss, however, is permanent! So even when you don't win the battle, you are definitely winning the war.

Suezeeque · 11-06-2009, 02:55 AM

If your sister lost anything, it certainly isn't fat. At this point, anything you lose is fat. Eventually she will tired of the exercise and then you can just go ahead and do your own thing. And if I were you I wouldn't discuss diet or exercise with your family. Family (including husbands) is worse than anyone sometimes because they want you to be the same old person they have always known and loved. They don't like change. It's not vicious or mean, just human nature. And this is double for you because your family has food issues. For suport, go outside, like to WW or OA. and of course 3FC's!!!

JustBeckyV · 11-07-2009, 08:55 PM

Slow and steady win the race and even more than that -- you know you are doing it the right way and in the long run will be better off for it. You are doing a great job and you need to stay focused on your goals. I know its' hard to know but stick with it!