IMO, I don't think you over reacted. And, I don't think you were being neurotic. I don't think you were out of control or out of line. We live in a country that is becoming more and more obese. Over sized meals are the norm. You are different now. You see this whole situation in a new light. That is a good thing! And, you didn't need an oversized meal. And, why should you be required to pay for more food than you wanted to eat?! I've noticed that more restaurants in my area are offering 1/2 size portions on their menu. And, if it's not on the menu, I get the option when I ask....for a reduced charge. My daughter is a vegetarian. Our servers are always willing to offer alternatives for her...and these alternative are usually not on the menu.
Personally, I'm aggravated with your husband for making you feel neurotic and not supporting you in this. You are not a mouse. You are a woman with a voice.
I'm a bit calmer now, though I'm still feeling slightly rattled. I still asked myself what I wanted for dinner and told myself, "whatever you want, no judgment." I decided I wanted a Smart Ones beans&rice with a bag of chips from Chipotle. Ooooookaaaaay...so I got everything, ate what I wanted, pulverized the chips that were left in the bag and threw them away.
Restaurants are having a hard time with this recession. To make a profit they have to change some policies and one of them is to not serve cheaper children's meals to adults. Let's face it,they aren't responsible if we have a food problem. I know most places want to please their customers and might make an exception if you explain calmly. I know what you mean though; when I go to the local ice cream place and order a kiddie cone at the window, they look behind me to my car to see if there's a child inside, so I park on the side. Ha. They never ask.
About your behavior. I wish I didn't understand so well. But, if I don't keep a close watch on myself I too have a problem with getting mad and being a little too agressive to press my point. I have tried to control this and TRY to count to ten and then try to picture about ten minutes ahead to see how I will feel if I speak up. I'm not always successful. All I can say is that if you are aware of it and not trying to be a "right fighter" as Dr. Phil says, then you have won half the battle. Be easy on yourself. I have an aunt and a monther who embarassed me so many times when I was growing up with this behavior and I swore I would never, well, for example, complain about the food in a restaurant (too tough, underdone, overdone, blah, blah, blah) when I grew up. One time I spoke up in a line at the store because this guy ahead of me called over his two friends to get in line with him and I got mad. It was late, the line was long, I was tired. So, the consequences were that I was afraid to walk out to my car because I was afraid these three men, who looked like Russian thugs, might take exception and decide to beat me up. It was stupid. I am much better than I used to be, not that I was the neighboorhood weirdo or anything, but I've tried to be more mature and consider if my behavior would achieve myobjective or not. Usually not. We all have our things. Otherwise there wouldn't be so many people out there in therapy! ha. No one was hurt. Next time you'll think about it first. You are forgiven.
Restaurants are having a hard time with this recession. To make a profit they have to change some policies and one of them is to not serve cheaper children's meals to adults. Let's face it,they aren't responsible if we have a food problem.
I so disagree that normal size portions are a food problem . And sure, they can have whatever policy they want. But I would certainly not give them my business if they do. I think it's quite absurd. I haven't run into it yet, but I'll probably blow a gasket too when I do.
I have a friend that has had Weight Loss Surgery. Now, of course, she can't eat an entire adults meal from a menu. So, she has an 'official' card that says she had the surgery and should be allowed to eat from the children's menu.
What's that all about?? So, one has to have surgery to qualify for a small meal??? It's really not fair.
I wonder...if it doesn't actually say the age limit on the menu, can they technically not offer it??
Restaurants are having a hard time with this recession. To make a profit they have to change some policies and one of them is to not serve cheaper children's meals to adults. Let's face it,they aren't responsible if we have a food problem.
My immediate thought is, "why am I responsible for their profit margin?" I could sit there and not eat anything and just take up space while my husband eats. I could order a $1.75 bowl of miso soup and NOT give them the $6.75 for the kid's meal, and they wouldn't question that. Why would me ordering a cheaper bowl of soup be more appropriate than the more expensive kid's meal??
I don't think they're responsible for my food problems. I'm not responsible for their finances, either.
I'm not a huge fan of Ralph Nader, but he once said something that has stuck with me for years He said that we consumers have become complacent. We no longer demand quality customer service. We no longer demand respect. We have allowed retailers to adopt the attitude that they are doing us a favor when they provide more than the very basics of service. Until we learn to demand our rights as consumers, customer service will continue to be subpar.
Ralph Nader is correct. Why should we pay our hard earned money for less than the best? Why should we be made to feel like bad people for speaking up for ourselves? It boggles my mind. It truly does.
To some degree, I believe the restaurant's profit margin is my concern, because it's in my best interest to do what I can to keep a restaurant I enjoy in business. Some restaurants take a loss on children's meals in hopes of the adult meals compensating for that loss. The obvious example is restaurants that offer "children eat free." In such a case, if an adult wanted food from the children's menu (which of course, would have no prices, because "children eat free"), it would obviously be unreasonable for the adult to expect to get the meal free. However, if the restaurant is taking a loss on a meal, it's harder to express that loss to the customer, especially since the cost of the food is a small fraction of the costs of running a restaurant. I think restaurant owners are in a bind in that if they offer the children's meals at a higher price to adults, as many customers will feel "ripped off" because they were charged more, yet if they don't charge more, and have to take a loss, it can threaten their ability to stay in business. However, most restaurant owners/managers are willing to accomodate special requests - so when you have a special request don't be afraid to "go to the top," if waitstaff says "no."
My husband and I expect excellent service, and we generally get it (and if there are problems in more than one visit, we don't return to the restaurant - and explain to the manager when we're leaving why we won't be coming back). Part of getting excellent service, is making our expectations clear and when we get it, we reward it (and I'm not only talking tips), and when we don't get it, we speak to the person making the mistake and to the manager explaining the problem, and what we would expect to see done about it... and we almost never have to get angry during the process.
My husband worked for many years in fine restaurants in the kitchen and as staff manager, so he understands both sides. Yet, because he worked in some of the best restaurants, he expects good to excellent service no matter where we go, even if it's a tiny restaurant with only one cook (as in our favorite restaurant).
It may not seem "fair," but the best way to get excellent service is to be friendly yet confident. If you "ask" for a custom order in an uncertain and submissive tone, the waitstaff will feel more comfortable saying no. Hubby has chided me several times for asking for substitutions or accomodations in a way that says or implies that I don't expect them to be able to accomodate me - or implies that I will be just as happy if they won't give me what I ask for.
Our friends often comment that we get treated "like bigshots," in many of our favorite restaurants (whether it's a cheap diner or a nice restaurant), and it's because of how we interact with staff and management. Once, at our favorite restaurant (a small thai restaurant with a very tiny kitchen with one cook, the owner), we overheard a woman at another table say in a very snippy, jealous (almost angry) tone "I wonder who THEY are," because the owner came out and greeted us like friends and brought out a new dish for us to try and give our opinion on.
That incident got me thinking about why we're treated like "big shots." The woman's implication was that you have to be someone very important to get excellent service, which doesn't fit us at all. We do eat out regularly, but we choose inexpensive, small restaurants (they usually do serve insane portions, but we've both learned to get three or more meals out of a restaurant meal). However, we are friendly and social. We "chat" with staff and when we find something we like (whether it's service or the food), we praise the staff specifically (my husband appreciates beverages being refilled quickly, before he has to ask, so if he gets it - he remarks upon it and thanks the beverage-bringer). My husband will even peek or call into the kitchen to make a compliment when the food is to his liking. He will seek out and speak to the owner about things he likes and doesn't like to see in a restaurant.
When we get something we don't like, we're generally sympathetic (at least the first time), but we expect it to be fixed, and fixed promptly and properly. If a dish isn't to our liking, we do send it back. Often it is just a matter of taste, so instead of saying "this is horrible," we say "I really don't like this, could I get something else," (in a tone that says, I know you want to make us happy, not could you please do us a big favor and we'll be indebted to you forever). We've never had a restaurant NOT accomodate us.
Yes, we act like bigshots, I suppose. Friendly, loud, confident, chatty big shots. I know that's not everybody's personality style, but anyone can learn to ask for what they want in a pleasant, but confident tone. If waitstaff say no, before getting angry ask to speak to the manager and make the request again.
Saying nothing and just never coming back is the least effective way to respond to an unsatisfactory experience. Rants "after the fact," aren't usually particularly helpful either, as you've had to endure an unacceptable experience. If waitstaff isn't accomodating, talking to the manager about what you want, and asking how he/she can get you what you want, is much more effectve and more pleasant. It works more often than not, so much so that I don't remember the last time a restaurant couldn't or wouldn't accomodate my request.
. And sure, they can have whatever policy they want. But I would certainly not give them my business if they do. I think it's quite absurd. I haven't run into it yet, but I'll probably blow a gasket too when I do.
