[Ryanne]

I need to remember this for myself. I had a situation yesterday, and this is a financial situation, but it can pertain to any momentary spur of the moment pleasure.
My husband and I are saving up money for four certain specific things. Now this money is not to be touched, it is only for those four things.
Well, last night I went out and I spent the money I had alloted myself to go out. Then I called him and told him I had spent my money and he asked me if I wanted him to bring me some more. I told him it was up to him, all the while knowing I should have said "NO"! So he brought me some money, then he met up with me later and we spent some more money. When we were coming home, we both realized that spending the money hurt us because we were specifically saving for something, and although we did have fun at the time, the guilt and regret wasn't worth dipping into our savings.
I have pondered this about food today. A little indulgence isn't worth delaying or hindering the true outcome of what I want. I don't want something I want "right now", I would rather have what I "REALLY WANT" down the line.
Sigh, I wish it were this easy to remember all the time.
Is there anyone who can relate to this?

[Alana in Canada]

Of course.

It's awful, it's horrible. It's called "delayed gratification" and unless you learn it, you'll be homeless and on the streets in your old age.

It's also called growing up.

Sigh.

[JulieJ08]

Completely. It's not that I ever think it really is worth it for the short-term thing. It's just that it's *still* hard to say no now for a deferred pleasure. I try hard to find some way to make the future now - for example, to make my goal be about eating healthy every day, rather than about some future weight goal or some future health benefit. I believe in the benefits that my choice has *today.* But that only goes so far - delayed gratification is still an essential skill, you can't escape that. It also helps me to make it not about food per se, but about my ability to delay gratification for a benefit that's meaningful to me. I think of it as an exercise in character, not an exercise in weight control. That makes it more meaningful to me. But to someone else, that might just make it worse!

[Ryanne]

Originally Posted by Alana in Canada

Of course.

It's awful, it's horrible. It's called "delayed gratification" and unless you learn it, you'll be homeless and on the streets in your old age.

It's also called growing up.

Sigh.

I know what delayed gratification is, Alana.

[Ryanne]

For an honest response. Sometimes it is just hard to be in "the moment" but trying to reign yourself in and sometimes good judgement doesn't always win, but I guess as long as it does most of the time then it's all good.

[JayEll]

Yes, I know what you mean. One of the slogans I've seen on 3FC is, "Failure is giving up what you want most for what you want now." I've done that a few times with food, I have to admit.

I don't think Alana in Canada meant her comment as directed to you personally. I expect that she was talking about her own situation as much as anyone else's. But she can explain that herself.

Well look, we can't un-spend the money most of the time (although we can take stuff back to the store and get a refund). Food's the same way--can't un-eat it. So, the best strategy is just to not get started on it. Like you said, you know you should have said "No" but you didn't. That's hard to learn to do, but it can be learned.

Jay

[cfmama]

I've never seen Alana say anything rude to you fwiw...

[Ryanne]

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