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Old 08-21-2009, 04:02 PM   #1
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Default Not Sleeping

I haven’t been able to sleep for the last couple of months, no matter how much I try to tire myself out. I really want to get back to exercising in the mornings but almost every morning I stay in bed because I’m tired because I didn’t get any real sleep the night before. I wake up just thinking about things and can’t turn off my head. I know I’m an emotional eater and was wondering if I was self-sabotaging by conjuring up “emotion” until it gets to my breaking point and I eat to deal with it or if this was just what will happen when you’ve used eating to deal with emotion and suddenly that’s not an option. I’m beating myself up over stuff that happen years ago and there’s some things that happen that can’t be made into happy endings. (I keep going over an affair my husband had with a friend of mine more than fifteen years ago and feeling anger and “less than” over that – of course it doesn’t help but bring it up when she tries to Friend both my husband and I on Facebook…no idea what she’s thinking…curiously enough, I'm at the same weight I was when that all happened, then gained another 100 lbs...)

Anyone else have this experience (the emotional upheaval part, I mean)? It's not something I can talk to my DH about and I don't want to get stuck here. It really is more about being able to turn off my thoughts and get some sleep so I can get into the habits I want to have.

Thanks for listening,

"But remember, the brick walls are there for a reason. The brick walls are not there to keep us out. The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something. Because the brick walls are there to stop the people who don’t want it badly enough. They’re there to stop other people." Randy Pausch, "The Last Lecture"

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Old 08-21-2009, 04:32 PM   #2
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Hi there:

I posted about this same issue not too long ago -- the thing that someone said that really clicked with me is something you touched on in your post: I (apparently) was used to dealing with powerful emotions by stuffing them down with food; now that that's not an option, I'm feeling all my feelings much more intensely.

I think it's just going to have to be something I've got to get used to -- but boy was it easier not feeling anything other than full! :-S
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Old 08-21-2009, 05:10 PM   #3
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Default Recommendations

A couple of thoughts come to mind Barb.

The first thing I would do is to see my doctor and ask for something short term that will help you get some sleep. I have used Ambien CR for some time and would recommend it. When you are not sleeping, especially long term you can become very ill. Physically and emotionally.

Next I would ask about an evaluation for depression and if you need it I would really encourage you to take some medication if your doc feels it is warranted.

Lastly, whatever you do please seek some counseling for yourself. The issues you are working on are tough. Having someone to talk to that you can draw guidance from and support as you "work thru it" seems like something you could use right now.

I wish you peace and healing.


Goal 1: Break 220 lb Mark: Done 11/20/2011
Goal 2: Break 210 lb Mark: Done 12/18/2011
Goal 3: Onderland!!!!!: 01/15/2012
Goal 4: Break 190 lb Mark: 02/09/2012
Goal 5: Break 180 lb Mark: 3/13/2012
Goal 6: Break 170 lb Mark: 4/15/2012
Goal 7: Break 160 lb Mark: 5/18/2012
Goal 8: Break 150 lb Mark: 6/23/2012
Goal 9: Break last 10 lb Mark 140!:
One for each 10 lb loss:
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Old 08-21-2009, 05:51 PM   #4
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to you first of all and THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU for posting this secondly because I am doing the EXACT same thing right now. I keep waking up in the middle of the night, multiple times a night. Sometimes I can go back to sleep instantly, sometimes not so much; it depends on what pops into my head during those moments of conciousness. Its been taking me forever to even fall asleep at night so I'm up till 2am.

I also workout right when I get up. I've tried pushing back my workout time but I never feel energized enough to do the workout and the past week has been a joke. I wake up feeling not just tired but physcially weak like I was having my energy syphoned out of me during the night. I end up dozing during my childrens' naptime. I just can't seem to break this cycle!!

I started on my anti depressants and I would seriously take Debbie's advice into careful consideration. It sounds like you may not have completely resolved your emotions about the affair and to be honest (having been there too, but it was a girl I didn't know) it could be that this Tart's stupid attempt to friend you on facebook brought it to the surface.

DH and I did marriage counseling after are incident, have you guys tried that? We TBH, hated it, very much. It gave us a couple useful tools though and united together for the deep feeling of disgust we had for the crappy counselor we were assigned (he forgot our names, why we were there and left us waiting for an hour cause he forgot we had the appt). Your DH might not want to revisit the past but he was a part of it and needs to take that accountability. If he won't go seek individualized counseling.

We are all here for you, sweetie.
:hugs: again!!
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Last edited by TaraLee; 08-21-2009 at 06:00 PM.
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Old 08-21-2009, 08:08 PM   #5
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I have to chime in and agree with the posters who suggested talking to a doctor about sleep medications and getting evaluated for depression. I've struggled with depression most of my life, and my constant thinking/obsessing/worrying kept me awake. When my psychiatrist prescribed Ambien, I was reluctant to take it, afraid I'd become dependent. But still I'd lie in bed worrying that I wouldn't get enough sleep, and that tomorrow I wouldn't sleep either... stress about sleep kept me from sleeping! (along with all the other things running around my brain.)

He finally told me, "You HAVE to sleep. You won't get better until you sleep." And that made sense. I started taking the medication, I started sleeping, my mood improved, my body learned how to fall asleep, and eventually I was able to sleep without the meds.

I was out and up too long and late last night, and feel really tired today. And I've noticed that it is harder for me to concentrate, and definitely harder for me to stay on plan, eating-wise. Its just so hard to think clearly and make good choices when I'm tired, hard to control negative thoughts, harder to do everything. When I was constantly sleep-deprived, its no wonder that I struggled so hard through the day. You, too!

There is a lot of good advice out there about how to get better sleep habits- go to bed at the same time, only use bed for sleep or sex, avoid alcohol and caffeine, etc. Those are helpful tips, but they didn't work for me when I was chronically sleep deprived and depressed or anxious. I couldn't turn off all that buzzing in my brain, and the less I slept, the louder the buzz.

If you get some sleep, you may find that your emotional upheavals ease up. If you find you are still struggling emotionally and choose to try any sort of therapy, you will have better results if your brain and body are rested.

Being a therapy-sort myself, i wonder if there is any significance to the fact that you are now back to the same weight you were when the experiences you are reliving occurred. Its something you have noticed- it might be something to explore. You might try writing your thoughts about that, and see what comes up.

Try not to be too hard on yourself- you are going through a big emotional journey, and lack of sleep throws everything out of whack. Getting the rest you need won't fix everything, but it will enable you to take the steps you need to keep working through it. Take whatever help you can!

(oh, geez, I just realized how long this post became. maybe reading it will put you to sleep!)
"Eat food. Not too much. Mostly plants." ~Michael Pollan
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Old 08-22-2009, 04:45 PM   #6
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Melatonin is a natural sleep remedy and it works like a hot darn. I'd try that personally before going the allopathic medication route.
On my own personal journey I started on September 27, 2008
Starting weight 377, Weight in spring of 2010 198, Weight in August 2011? In the 240's.
Still plugging along on this weight loss highway!
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