3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Need a Hug. (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/179370-need-hug.html)

VickieLou 08-17-2009 10:13 AM

Need a Hug.
 
Well I have been off plan and not exercising. Well my husband wanted to see my weight yesterday, so weighed in and was up 18.6 Lbs from my lowest weight this year. Needless, to say he wasn't thrilled. I have been stressed out and depressed. But know I need to get back on plan and exercising before it gets any worse. I count calories. Should I maybe eat 1200 calories for a week?

annie175 08-17-2009 10:18 AM

Why the heck do you have to weigh in for your husband. That is nonsense, stressful, and depressing.

kuhljeanie 08-17-2009 10:19 AM

i was wondering exactly the same thing...

bitetoobreakkskin 08-17-2009 10:22 AM

im sorry! i know how stressful it can be to weigh in for YOURSELF and cant imagine having to do it with another person putting on that pressure...i hope things work out for you-just keep your head up and keep going-but please dont let him bring you down! ::hugs:: :)

Onederchic 08-17-2009 10:23 AM

I agree with the others.

Also, eating less may take off a few pounds quickly but not always the best long term plan. Find a plan that works for YOU and YOUR lifestyle. Commit to it. Stay focused. Stay determined. Be patient and wait it out a couple weeks then tweak as necessary. Plus adding in some exercise here and there is helpful too :D. Good luck, you can do this for YOU :cheer2: :hug:

Bonnie+J 08-17-2009 10:32 AM

huge hugs for you sweetie!!!!

but i also agree with the other girls. you need to do this for you. your husband was probly trying to be supportive, but the added stress of his disappointment is not helping you hun!

so draw a line under all of whats happened and start again. you can do it!!! you rock!!!!

stargzr 08-17-2009 10:39 AM

While I understand where the other girls are coming from, this sounds like something I would do. I already decided that when I get to a weight I am not embarrassed of, I am going to have my husband start checking the scale when I weigh in once a week. It would be for my own motivation, but also because then he would know what is working or is not working for me and help me out.
Anyhow, I wanted to send loads of :hugs: to you. I know watching the scale go up is a little spirit dampening and scary. Just remember that you WERE 18.6lbs lighter just earlier this year. You know what that means? You CAN do this and you know what works. So just hop back on plan and remember all of the reasons you wanted to lose weight in the first place. If you have a hard time still, then every time before you eat something bad, write down one reason you wouldn't eat it (ie: I haven't had a cupcake in a week! I better keep that going... or... I want to run with my kids at the park, etc).
You CAN do this!
::hugs::

hpnodat 08-17-2009 10:39 AM

Sorry to hear that you've gained. And I'm sorry to hear that you're stressed and depressed. Here's your hug. :hug:

Now I don't know you at all but I know when I'm feeling like you are and I have been eating off plan and not exercising, Not only do I need a hug but I also need a huge kick in the butt.

I don't know what the situation is with you and your husband and its really none of my business so I'll keep my opinions to myself about you having to weigh for him.

If I'm stressed and depressed its generally because I'm not eating right and not exercising or getting enough sleep. I feel best when I stay on plan and exercise. Exercise is a great therapy for stress and depression.

I understand that you might be having other issues that you cant control. You might need to see a doctor for your depression. You might need someone to talk to and share with them whats going on, on a regular basis.

I really don't know what you need but I hope everything works out for you.
:hug:

shasha17a 08-17-2009 11:09 AM

Sorry about all your stress. I can totally relate. This year I gained about 20lbs since January-July. I'm back on track, mainly because I signed up for the site and hold myself accountable by constantly checking in here with all of you. It makes it easier for me to stay on plan. Please continue to post because it does help. :hug:

kuhrisuh 08-17-2009 12:22 PM

I have 2 things to say.

First, as far as the eating and everything goes, I'd try out sparkpeople.com It's free and you put in your goals, and it builds meal plans for you and gives you lots of tips :).

Second, why do you have to weigh in for your husband? Seems a little controlling.. he shouldn't be focused on your weight! He can focus on his own and leave you to complete your own journey :/. Just keep in mind that you're losing weight for YOU. Don't let him get you down. So, you gained some weight. You've realized it and are now on your way to losing.

You CAN do this. :hug::hug::hug::hug::hug:

TaraLee 08-17-2009 12:52 PM

:hug: :hug: :hug:

I'm a little confused too about the DH weighing you. Stargzr's response I get, motivation, accountability, for the additional support but it didn't really sound like that was your case. I could see him asking you to weigh in if he was concerned and maybe being disappointed but the way you told it, it didn't really ooze compassion.

As far as being OP, we're here for you. I agree with Carissa. I use sparkpeople.com too. It has a built in calorie calculator. You put in your information and it designs a diet plan for you. Plus, you can keep track of your exercising and calorie/fat and anyother dietary think I can think of on there.

rockinrobin 08-17-2009 12:53 PM

A hug? You got it. Sending lots and lots of cyberhugs your way....

I'm in agreement with the others. Weight loss/gain/maintenance is a PERSONAL experience. This has nothing, nothing to do with your husband. This doesn't sound supportive, it sounds humiliating. I would tell him that this is something you need to do for yourself. Yes, his support and ENCOURAGEMENT are one thing, you don't need him monitoring your every move. This is your issue and you need to deal with it. Not deal with it - AND him.

1200 calories for a week? You've been struggling for sometime now, haven't you? You've been struggling with a higher calorie allotment and haven't consistently met that. Therefore, I really don't see how LOWERING your allotment is going to be something you can (or should) do.

You need to find/make/devise a plan. One that you are WILLING to stick to. Day in and day out. Perhaps you'd be better off in different type situation. Maybe a WW type thing. Where you go to meetings and get support from other like-minded people. Or maybe speak with a nutritionist or dietician. They can guide you as to what to eat and what not to eat, help you with the planning and menus. It would also be someone to hold you accountable and would be looking out for your best interests. Your own personal coach.

There is something out there for you. Keep on searching and delving. Because it's there. Don't stop till you find it. Be open to it. :hug::hug::hug:

Judy Lynn 08-17-2009 01:45 PM

Vickie Lou, :hug:

You can get back on track. I know it!

luvja 08-17-2009 02:39 PM

:hug: - You asked for one... :)

VickieLou 08-17-2009 05:58 PM

Thank You for the Hugs and Encouragement! I'm feeling better and will plan out my menu tonight for tomorrow. Hope to be back to my lowest weight this year by Sept. 11th.


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