Mystical maybe you and Reundefined can be weight loss buddies. Sign up for an AIM screen name if you don't have one, support each other, talk each other through cravings and slipups etc.
10 months ago I was 39 years old and 370 lbs. The smallest I had been as an adult was in 2003, 180s, size 14/16. Bad divorce, I gained 100 lbs in six months late 2003, then crept up another 50+ over the next 5 years.
I was well on my way to 400, and housebound. I was a size 32; specifically, too fat to shop at Lane Bryant. With a basement full of expensive designer clothes (and the credit card debt to prove it) in 14s and 16s I had hidden away because I hated to look at them.
I was depressed, sick, worn out, miserable, unhappy, hated myself, hated how I looked, hated how I felt.
I avoided social situations unless they were with women who looked/acted like me. I went straight to work and straight home. I would get so tired and out of breath on the 3-block walk from the metro to my office I’d have to rest for 10 minutes half-way (this was the weight plus being a heavy smoker).
I had two pair of stretchy “dress” pants and about four shirts appropriate to wear to work. I didn’t wear a winter coat at all Winter 2007 because the only one I had didn’t come anywhere close to meeting in front, and I was embarrassed to put it on. And wouldn’t buy on that fit. I wore ratty tennis shoes or slides, ratty sweat pants and ratty t shirts when I wasn’t at work. I didn’t get a hair cut from 2004 until 2008, almost four years, and wore my hair back in a pony tail every single day (by the time I got it cut in November 2008 I could almost sit on it). I only took a bath every other day, and I was so fat I was uncomfortable taking showers—just tub baths.
Is that enough? I can go on and on and on.
Age doesn’t matter. Highest weight doesn’t matter. Heck motivation doesn’t even matter. All you need is COMMITMENT to change your life and PRETENDING that you are going to succeed.
Don’t wait to get motivated. Just do it.
Don’t expect everything to be all kittens and roses. Just pretend you are going to succeed. One day you’ll look around and realize you aren’t pretending anymore…you really ARE succeeding.
I gained all that weight as a way to deal with the divorce, because I refused to deal with it in an emotionally healthy way. I continued gaining weight (slowly) because I refused to acknowledge that I was depressed and had a problem. I finally, slowly, worked through the emotional baggage…and slowly began to realize what I was doing to myself. I got a big push last August when my BFF asked me to be her Maid of Honor…and I refused to do it in a size 32.
Atkins had worked for me before, so I committed to it, and 3 months later (11/08) I walked down the aisle in a size 24. Now I’m comfortably in an 18 and some 16s are fitting. By the end of the year I intend to be a size 12.
Pretend you can do it. You can. You don’t need anything special. Just start. Commit. If you screw up, forget about it and move on ahead. This is not a DIET this is your LIFE. Pretend to love yourself and value yourself enough to do this. And soon you won’t be pretending.
RunUndefined, you are a wonderful, beautiful, special woman. There is no one else on earth just like you—did you know that? I can see it even if you can’t. Just do it You deserve it.
There is so much good advice for you here on this thread and on this entire site. I can't add much that hasn't been said, but that if you open your heart and mind to the fact that you can lose weight, then you have made a huge step towards reaching your goal.
Robin is, of course, right that it all comes down to a matter of deciding that you want health and fitness more than you want anything else in this world. Deciding is hard and commitment is hard, but when I look at people like Robin, I know that is what it will take for me to finally get out of this fat body and into the one I'm meant to have.
It takes making a full time commitment to yourself. I just restarted my life, again, at 43 and needing to loose at least 100lbs. Yes, it's a lot of weight and it does freak me out. But, I'm trying to force myself to concentrate on losing five pounds at a time. This last week was my first real week at staying on plan and I lost 3.5 lbs. That is great and so close to my 5 lb goal.
You have to set yourself up for success. Stay active with this board, start journaling (Blogging), keep a food journal and track every calorie, exercise faithfully, joining a support group if you can (I go to TOPS), and set your kitchen up for success. It's time consuming, but for me I have to make losing weight an obsession or I will slip back to my old ways and that is unacceptable.
You have come to the right place to get a ton of support and mega-tons of great advice and information. It can really make a huge difference to have a circle of friends that know exactly what you are going through and how hard it all is. There is a lot to the 3FC site --- recipes and diet information and shopping tips; make sure to go to the home page and take a look around.
Now, let's talk a minute about how you are feeling : You have just faced an unpleasant and inescapable truth --- your weight is keeping you from the life you want to live. Boy, been then and done that! (Or maybe AM there and AM STILL doing that is more accurate ) But here is the really cool part of what you just faced: you have the magical power to change it all! And you don't need a magic potion or a bunch of money or a special talent --- you just need your brilliant brain and that extra-ordinary, hard-working, miraculous body!
Have you ever stepped into a new job or started a new school year or moved to a new place and there was that fluttery, half-excited half-terrified feeling inside, like a 10 seconds old butterfly just about to emerge for its first flight? Well, you are right there again, with an amazing array of potential and possibilities before you.
Hard work? Oh, yeah -- there is going to be a lot; but there is a lot of hard work involved in coming up to speed on a new job or learning a new skill and you have been able to handle those things, right? Changes? Well, yes indeed, changes must be made for this to work --- but they are changes that YOU control in pursuit of a goal that YOU have defined at a pace that YOU feel comfortable with; you are LARGE AND IN CHARGE!
So, take a deep, cleansing breath and realize that while this is indeed a big adventure (pun intended), it is still an adventure well within your ability to handle! The first thing you need on a big adventure is a clear idea of where you are (maybe using a program like the daily plate to count the calories you eat in a normal day?) and a clear idea of where you want to be (maybe a journal entry that talks about all the things you want to do or a collage of the clothes you want to wear or just a list of all the POSITIVE reasons to change your eating habits). Then you need to take some time to plot a course on how to get from A to B --- don't worry if you aren't sure and don't imagine that your course has to be "perfect"! Your path will change many times as you learn more and as you can do more, and hey! aren't some of the best adventures the ones that come from those interesting side trips?
There are days when I think about all this change in terms in what I am giving up or what I HAVE to do; there are days when I think about it in terms of what cool new foods I can learn to cook or what interesting new activities I can try. Guess which days are the ones that work the best?
Welcome to the 100+ Fat-Assassination Team, RunUndefined !
Age doesn’t matter. Highest weight doesn’t matter. Heck motivation doesn’t even matter. All you need is COMMITMENT to change your life and PRETENDING that you are going to succeed.
Don’t wait to get motivated. Just do it.
Don’t expect everything to be all kittens and roses. Just pretend you are going to succeed. One day you’ll look around and realize you aren’t pretending anymore…you really ARE succeeding
Thank you all for the welcome. I have hired a personal trainer and she comes to my home 2 times a month with a work out plan and a nutritional plan for me to follow. I get a menu and snack ideas from her. For me I know I have to have a menu to follow strictly so I won't eat off plan at least for now that is what is going to work for me. She has also made me a exercise routine for the week and she will check in every other week with me. She is going to coming on Tuesday and take all my measurements and we will do that every 6-8 weeks I believe she told me. I would love to be a part of your group I will be here everyday thanks in advance for the support and freindly advise.
I started writing responses several times and each time I would just start crying to the point I could not see to continue and I stopped. So many things each of you said rang true for me.
I think seeing that many of you are in a similar place as me certainly has helped me in some way. I was beginning to feel isolated. I really needed to hear that and to post here. Thank you.
Also seeing so many of you that just finally did this did help to shake me out of my funk a bit.
I had to really think on why I am here (gained so much of my weight back) again. I think I am such an all or nothing person and that is contributing to my lose/gain cycle.
I am very strict to the point of obsession when I am eating “right” so much that it leads to feelings of deprivation and then I go “off plan” and go crazy with food.
I have got to somehow find a balance. I think knowing that somehow has helped me also.
I am also in physical pain (back issues from the weight gain) and that really brings it home.
Thank you to each and every one of you that took the time to write the heartfelt posts. I am having a better afternoon.
Hi there!
18 months ago, I weighed 244 lbs at 5'7". Very similar to your stats, relatively speaking height/weight. I had 52 inch hips. 52 INCHES!!! I almost threw up when I saw that. A 50 inch bust! Not that DH complained, but STILL. A 43 inch waist! And at my Pap smear that year the nurse practitioner couldn't use her instruments correctly because of my weight, and told me that she didn't have the skill to do the pap because the instruments were "too hard to place, given your size"...
I nearly died. I couldn't walk 2 blocks without having to rest. So I know what you are feeling and I know the absolute panic and desperation you are expressing. I've been there.
What I did was STOP, BREATHE, and THINK. And this is what I came up with:
1. Sure, I'm fat. I haven't killed anyone. I haven't stolen any money. In the grand scheme of things,this isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm a good person. I've just made crappy choices. I'm NOT A BAD PERSON. I just haven't done the right thing by my body. And I have to stop hating myself and saying those things to myself that I would never, EVER say to anyone else in my situation. I stopped the self-loathing.
2. Fat is temporary. Thank GOD I can fix this. If I was a mean person, or had an ugly personality, or had some horrible disease, I would be up the creek, control-wise. But I can fix this. It will take time, and be irritating, and frustrating, and not on any fixed timeline, but I CAN fix this. How freeing -- to know that this was completely in my control. I didn't have to depend on doctors or the medical system to "fix" this. I could do this myself.
3. What I've done in the past hasn't worked with respect to taking and keeping the weight off. So it is time for me to step outside of my self-imposed restrictions and definitions of what I CAN do and try to do something that I haven't done before. After all, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!!! So I decided to change my lifestyle. BIG radical change! Instead of focusing on x pounds in y weeks, I had to focus on what I was doing diet-wise and exercise-wise and just be on plan for that. The pounds would take care of themselves IF I was consistent.
Once I came to these conclusions, I had to actually DO something. So I researched a plan that worked well for my LIFESTYLE. It isn't the fastest plan in the world, but it is one that I can make work for me, pretty much forever. There are lots of plans out there. Structure makes things simple because it takes alot of the "thinking" out of the equation -- just stick with the plan and things will work. For some, Atkins works. South Beach for others. Calorie Counting is effective for alot of people. I chose Weight Watchers because it fits for me. The BEST plan out there is the one that works for YOU. You will find your own path on this one.
Once I got more comfortable with my body and really firm in the eating plan, I added exercise to the mix. I wasn't happy with my fitness level, so added activity to make me fit and strong.
ALL of this is to say that if you seriously want to change, you need to seriously change and to change seriously! Put the guilt and loathing aside. Find a plan that you can live with. And stick to it one day at a time. Be PATIENT (probably the hardest part!), and I can guarantee you that 4 months from now, you'll never have regretted this.
You can find your path!!! We believe in you!!! And you CAN do this!!!
It can be done!I didn't read all the posts,but I'm sure you were told about all the great success stories here!You find out what works for you. A few weeks ago, I stopped giving myself time limits on losing in a
certain amount of time. I take a day at a time.Now, I am doing great! Be Persistant!
Hi there!
18 months ago, I weighed 244 lbs at 5'7". Very similar to your stats, relatively speaking height/weight. I had 52 inch hips. 52 INCHES!!! I almost threw up when I saw that. A 50 inch bust! Not that DH complained, but STILL. A 43 inch waist! And at my Pap smear that year the nurse practitioner couldn't use her instruments correctly because of my weight, and told me that she didn't have the skill to do the pap because the instruments were "too hard to place, given your size"...
I nearly died. I couldn't walk 2 blocks without having to rest. So I know what you are feeling and I know the absolute panic and desperation you are expressing. I've been there.
What I did was STOP, BREATHE, and THINK. And this is what I came up with:
1. Sure, I'm fat. I haven't killed anyone. I haven't stolen any money. In the grand scheme of things,this isn't the worst thing in the world. I'm a good person. I've just made crappy choices. I'm NOT A BAD PERSON. I just haven't done the right thing by my body. And I have to stop hating myself and saying those things to myself that I would never, EVER say to anyone else in my situation. I stopped the self-loathing.
2. Fat is temporary. Thank GOD I can fix this. If I was a mean person, or had an ugly personality, or had some horrible disease, I would be up the creek, control-wise. But I can fix this. It will take time, and be irritating, and frustrating, and not on any fixed timeline, but I CAN fix this. How freeing -- to know that this was completely in my control. I didn't have to depend on doctors or the medical system to "fix" this. I could do this myself.
3. What I've done in the past hasn't worked with respect to taking and keeping the weight off. So it is time for me to step outside of my self-imposed restrictions and definitions of what I CAN do and try to do something that I haven't done before. After all, if you always do what you've always done, you'll always get what you've always got!!! So I decided to change my lifestyle. BIG radical change! Instead of focusing on x pounds in y weeks, I had to focus on what I was doing diet-wise and exercise-wise and just be on plan for that. The pounds would take care of themselves IF I was consistent.
Once I came to these conclusions, I had to actually DO something. So I researched a plan that worked well for my LIFESTYLE. It isn't the fastest plan in the world, but it is one that I can make work for me, pretty much forever. There are lots of plans out there. Structure makes things simple because it takes allot of the "thinking" out of the equation -- just stick with the plan and things will work. For some, Atkins works. South Beach for others. Calorie Counting is effective for alot of people. I chose Weight Watchers because it fits for me. The BEST plan out there is the one that works for YOU. You will find your own path on this one.
Once I got more comfortable with my body and really firm in the eating plan, I added exercise to the mix. I wasn't happy with my fitness level, so added activity to make me fit and strong.
ALL of this is to say that if you seriously want to change, you need to seriously change and to change seriously! Put the guilt and loathing aside. Find a plan that you can live with. And stick to it one day at a time. Be PATIENT (probably the hardest part!), and I can guarantee you that 4 months from now, you'll never have regretted this.
You can find your path!!! We believe in you!!! And you CAN do this!!!
Kira
Ya... 50" hips right here as well... and the same for the "girls"..
I totally get what you went thru at the Dr. One of my issues is the healthcare we get (or should I say don't get) when we are obese. It's almost criminal.
Thank you for your post. It does help to think about it as only fat. Lord knows I am thankful for my relative health. It could be SO much worse and I need to be reminded of that.
WW is a good program. My sis has done very well on it.
For me, for right now I need EASY. So counting calories is it although I just left the WW site and have been considering the at home version for on down the road.
Runundefined,
I know exactly what you are going through. I was on the Jenny Craig program and lost around 60 lbs I have put most of that back on since I have moved. About a year ago I moved from Arkansas to Ontario, Canada and my husband has his own business but I had worked in a corporate office for the past 10 years and right now I just do the books for our company. Don't get me wrong I love the exta time with my family but I seem to eat for every reason possible. I am only 5' tall so as you can imagine weight really shows fast. I like you have back pains because of my weight somehow I have got to find a life change for me. I have got to lose the weight it has effected every part of my life. I don't go shopping anymore even since it hurts my back to much to walk to far. I am trying to do some cardio 2 times a day but I seem to always have an excuse why I can't. I need the help, support and motivation as well. Maybe we can do this thing together.
) But here is the really cool part of what you just faced: you have the magical power to change it all! And you don't need a magic potion or a bunch of money or a special talent --- you just need your brilliant brain and that extra-ordinary, hard-working, miraculous body!
You find out what works for you. A few weeks ago, I stopped giving myself time limits on losing in a
