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Old 06-17-2009, 06:29 PM   #1  
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Default I admit I have a problem now what

I am so sick of dieting and failing. I have a real problem, an eatting problem. I eat good all day night comes or some times sooner I break down. I have just one then another and then feel like ok I blew it today so Im going to eat and eat enjoy myself and start fresh tomarrow but tomarrow comes and its the same thing I am caught in a horrible cycle. Sometimes I eat something like a cookie and before I even relize it I have eatten 5. I just feel at the end of my rope. I have off on dieted for 6yrs. I am tired of thinking about it. I am totally consumed and obessed about my weight. I dont understand how something that means so much to me is so hard. I just dont know what to do anymore or where to turn. My husband teases me because I have been though every weight loss book I have wasted so much money, time and effort just to never stick with anything. I buy things all the time exercise bike, tampoline, videos, weights, treadmil, gazelle, gym membership, calorie counting, I even tried the "couch to 3k program and at first I am hiped saying, "this is it the gaget that will do it." But the enthueasm fades. I dont know what to do anymore I am driving myself crazy. Any ideas, any one going or gone through the same thing?
Help
Kelly
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Old 06-17-2009, 06:49 PM   #2  
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I have the same story.

The only thing that has ever helped me is to completely - and I mean completely - stay away from my trigger foods.

It's been a long slow process to get there.
I've had to admit to myself & accept the fact that certain foods I can't eat and will never be able to eat again without taking a risk of an unending cycle of food, obesity and compulsion.

Certain foods set off a chain reaction and I'll eat them to the exclusion of ALL other foods.

It's much, much easier not to take that first bite.

Because the fact of the matter is I won't eat 1 cookie - I'll eat 4 dozen.
I can't eat 1 chip - I eat the whole bag.
I can't eat one piece of fudge - I eat 1 1/2 pounds at a sitting.
It's just better if I don't get started.

Sometimes it doesn't seem fair...but then again lots of things aren't fair.
It's just who I am and I try to accept it everyday.

Last edited by susiemartin; 06-17-2009 at 06:50 PM. Reason: spelling
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Old 06-17-2009, 06:52 PM   #3  
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I have been exactly where you are and I can say it is the worst feeling ever! I was there not too long ago, in fact. I hadn't tried all of the things you have, but I thought I tried way too many different plans and such to have failed every single time. It's a completely defeating feeling and I can see why you are so just stuck. After getting to the point you are at, I stopped dieting altogether. As you can guess, I gained some weight... and quickly. It was not a happy time for me. I realized that if I was going to be thin and healthy one day I needed to figure myself out. I am convinced it had nothing to do with the diets or workouts themselves, but it was me who was broken. Once I focused on me, I realized that my big failings lied in my eating habits. Since then I have resolved to make regular changes to how and what I eat. First thing I wanted to get rid of was soda - of all kinds. Soda is a huge black hole for me, I feel like once I have some I always, always want more. So I cut it out cold turkey. I went home from work that day and poured it down the sink drain. I also announced to my husband when he got home that we were going to start being healthy. Since I cook most of the meals and do most of the grocery lists, I knew my triggers and what I had no problem having in the house. He was ok with my plan because he's a much healthier person than I am, wait.. was! So he was on board, now it was up to me to change my own habits and make them healthy. Next to go was cookies and chocolate! That one was surprisingly harder for me than the soda. BUT, I did it because I knew it would be good in the long run. I've already decided that I will never again drink soda, but once I am at a healthy weight I will allow occasional chocolate.
I also had to consistently remind myself that when I slip up on something, it's not the end of the day yet! So just because I ate that fast food for lunch, that didn't mean that I had to eat poorly for dinner too. I learned that one slip up is just that... one slip up. It's up to me to keep myself accountable and not have another one. This is a hard one for me. I tend to react the way you said - well, I messed up and had a burrito for lunch so now I'm having nachos for dinner! Now I have to remember that it's ok to have a burrito. As long as it's not every day for every meal!
You just have to keep in mind that every day is going to be a super hard challenge. This is new and it's probably going to be new every day for quite some time. That's a big reason I joined this site. There are a bunch of people on here to encourage each other and offer advice. So just remember, every time you eat it's different than the time before and it's never too late to decide to eat better!
(sorry about the length... I just felt I had to say it all)
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Old 06-17-2009, 06:57 PM   #4  
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For me the only thing that helps is regularly and consistently evaluatig every food choice - will this food help my body? Do I really want this, or just the idea of having it? Will this food feel good after I eat it? Will it satisfy my hunger? Etc etc etc...

If I can reasonably say that the food is good for me and will make me feel good eating it then I go for it. If the food won't leave me feeling healhy of satisfied in any meaningful way then I either eat that food in high moderation after eating something else more healthful, or avoid the food entirely.
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Old 06-17-2009, 07:00 PM   #5  
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I yoyoed for 20 years. The only thing that finally worked for me was accepting I had to change how I ate forever, and coming up with a liveable plan. I am sorry you are struggling, losing weight is hard.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:23 PM   #6  
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I've been where you are, too. It took my mom getting breast cancer (which is directly related to obesity) for me to finally decide to do it for real this time.

The advice about trigger foods is good. Ice cream is a big one for me. I can go out and have some ice cream, but I really can't have it in the house. It's just too easy to have "just one more bowl!"

Take small steps to start. Before you can change your habits, though, you need to know what they are. I know it sounds silly, but you probably aren't really aware of just how much you're eating. For a week, keep a food diary. Write down every single thing you eat - even a bite here and a bite there. Write down what time you eat it. If you can pinpoint it, write down why you ate. Were you really hungry? Did you eat because it was "time" to eat? Were you stressed out? Bored? Happy? Sad? Angry? A journal will really help you to sort out your eating habits.

Once you sort it out, work on changing one thing at a time. Make it a goal that for this week, you'll drink water instead of soda or you'll walk around the block every night. Then add a new goal the next week.

Above all, don't get discouraged. The "I messed up so I might as well start over tomorrow" mentality has GOT to go! If you slip, don't beat yourself up over it, but DO pick yourself up RIGHT THEN AND THERE and vow to make the next meal more healthy/stop the destructive behavior.

Your profile says you weigh 260 lbs., down from a high of 295. So you've managed to lose 25 lbs. somewhere along the line, which is nothing to sneeze at! It's not going to be easy, and it's not going to happen overnight. I've been working diligently since Jan. 1 and I've "only" lost 36 lbs. Back in my yo-yo dieting days, I would have been disgusted at myself for losing less than 10 pounds a WEEK, let alone 10 pounds a month! Now, I realize that slow and steady wins the race. The more I change my habits, the better the chance that I'll be able to keep it off. And isn't that the goal - to take it off and KEEP it off?

Keep coming back.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:41 PM   #7  
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I understand how you feel.

Yesterday it took 1 cookie to set me off. Like susiemartin I am now at the place where I know there are certain foods that will set off a chain reaction and I have to avoid them. My entire system goes haywire once I eat those trigger foods.

When I am eating whole foods and not simple carbs, that is when I give myself a fighting chance to stay on plan. A few days to a couple of weeks of eating clean and the cravings reduce considerably. As soon as I start back up with white flour and sugar, it's back to Square One.

Everyone is different and if you listen to your own body's reactions to the way you eat, you will learn how to give yourself the best chance for success.
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:44 PM   #8  
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What Jenelle said! I am quite impressed that you have lost 30lbs. That's excellent--and it tells me that though you may have a problem with certain foods--you are on the right track! Yes, losing weight is difficult at times. You have to push through that initial enthusiasm whic sustains you through the beginning. I've started things and never finished them LOTS of times in my life--all that means is that I love variety. Make sure your plan, whatever it needs to be for you--has lots of it. Same with your excercise. There isn't ONE answer for folks like us--and fortunately there's lots of different things we can do. The important part right now, is just to get into the habit.

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Old 06-17-2009, 08:48 PM   #9  
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Thank you all I feel better just knowing Im not alone. You all had great advice and I feel hopeful again. I am going to have to come here alot to stay on track. Its so unfair that some food tastes so good and I am an addict lol. I am going to get back on track with little steps. As I was reading I relized the reason I fail is when I get a new gadget I set such a strict regimine it wears me out so fast I give up. Plus I set unrealistic goals I bust my butt for a few days and expect it to fall off over night and when it dosent I give up. Thank you all for putting this in prespective for me. I have had a good day so far even took a walk.
Last year I joined a gym and lost 55 pds and over the last year I have gained and lost the same 20 pds a dozen times.
Kelly
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Old 06-17-2009, 08:51 PM   #10  
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..hey ladies..not much here to contribute..just agreeing with all of you on trigger foods....I can't have one bowl of cereal--I eat four--I can't have one chip, I eat the package..etc, etc....

Yes, I so agree it is just easier for me to not take the first bite to begin with. To the OP, my heart goes out to ya because I have two little kids and have been there myself...I also had a terrible problem with night eating....below are some things that have helped me..

1. Eat a satiating breakfast and extremely low cal the rest of the day..save the rest of your calories for night.

2. Go to sleep! As soon as you have finished your chores for the night, go to bed. It will keep you from eating---plus, the extra sleep will help you with energy levels.

3. If you want this then move it to the VERY TOP of your list of priorities. Let no ONE and NOTHING come before your nutrition, sleep and exercise. MAKE IT HAPPEN. You absolutely CAN have this.

I hope in some way these tips help.
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Old 06-17-2009, 09:15 PM   #11  
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jennelle View Post
Above all, don't get discouraged. The "I messed up so I might as well start over tomorrow" mentality has GOT to go! If you slip, don't beat yourself up over it, but DO pick yourself up RIGHT THEN AND THERE and vow to make the next meal more healthy/stop the destructive behavior.

Back in my yo-yo dieting days, I would have been disgusted at myself for losing less than 10 pounds a WEEK, let alone 10 pounds a month! Now, I realize that slow and steady wins the race. The more I change my habits, the better the chance that I'll be able to keep it off. And isn't that the goal -to take it off and KEEP it off?
Yep, couldn't have said it better, slow and steady really will work!
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Old 06-18-2009, 09:43 AM   #12  
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Oh, Kelly, I have been there too. I think many of us here in the 100 pound club have been.

You have been given some really good advice by the posters above so I won't repeat it. Jennelle gave you a good roadmap for starting. I want to echo the comment about avoiding your trigger foods.

The only other thing that I want to add is about commitment. You will see a lot of discussion about commitment here. For this to work, you have to make a commitment to yourself to do this.

This forum has been a huge help to me. Coming here helps me fight those crazy times. I look forward to your posts. You can do this!!
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Old 06-18-2009, 01:24 PM   #13  
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Lots of us have been there, and I second all the great advice you've gotten. A few more things I would suggest
1. Do a pantry purge: Get all the junk in your house OUT. Throw it away, give it to neighbors, take it to work unload it in the breakroom. You can't eat it if it's not there. If it belongs to other people in your family, then it's theirs. Give them a special cupboard, and don't open that cupboard, it's off limits, it's theirs not yours.
2. If you feel like you've got to eat, call a friend or post here. Don't take that first bite
3. Eat protein with every meal. It will really help curb your cravings.

Good luck, you CAN do this.
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Old 06-18-2009, 05:46 PM   #14  
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I have only one suggestion to add to the very helpful advice. One person said to save your calories for the night, and it looks like it's worked VERY well for her. However, I am a night eater in a serious way, and what works for me is just the opposite. I can control what I eat in the daytime much better than what I eat at night, so I establish a cut-off time for my eating and don't eat anything after that time (except some protein water if I work out). I find that when I am going to bed just a little bit hungry, I wake up feeling both hungry and resolved that I can commit for another day. I then have a very filling breakfast, which is my largest meal of the day.

It's finding what works for you, then finding it again and again and again as necessary. And congratulations on keeping those thirty pounds off for so long - that is AMAZING.
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Old 06-18-2009, 06:22 PM   #15  
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My story was very similar to yours for a LOT of years, 20 + years in fact. But then something wonderful happened - I got sick and tired ENOUGH of living in misery. And I decided to do something about it. Yes, it would be HARD, but could it possibly be as hard as being morbidly obese???????

Quote:
I am totally consumed and obessed about my weight. I dont understand how something that means so much to me is so hard.
Well, my children mean a real lot to me as well. I had my 3 daughters boom, boom, boom - within a span of 4 years 2 months. That was HARD. OMG was it hard. Still is at times. But totally, totally worth it and I wouldn't have it any other way.

My job is hard. I take a lot of pride in what I do and take it very seriously. I give it my all. But it's very rewarding and totally worth it.

My marriage, don't even get me started - it's HARD at times. But I'm committed to it and we make it work. It takes a lot of effort. But it's very rewarding, totally worth it and I wouldn't want to live this life without my husband.

Running my household is HARD. It requires a lot of work and effort to keep it running smoothly and efficiently. But it's so worth it.

Things that matter, things that are important ARE hard.
They take time, thought, planning and effort. One quote that I love comes to mind -

If we would just recognize that life was hard, things would be much easier.

Yes, it's hard at times to eat right and do what's necessary to obtain a healthy weight - but if you ask me, and I've been on both sides of the coin - it's way, way, way, way easier then being morbidly obese. At least the hard of being a healthy weight has rewards - oooh and LOTS of them.

Another great quote comes to mind -

Losing weight is hard. Maintaning weight is hard. Being fat is hard. Choose your hard.

And when you make the decision to lose the weight and see it through, you look back and realize, you know - this is not all that hard after all. Good habits once established are just as hard to break as the old bad habits.

At least the hard of being thin is worth it. Totally and completely. Think added self-confidence, boundless energy, stamina, less worries, wonderful doctors visits, a HUGE tremendous wardrobe and that's just for starters. The hard of being overweight - not so rewarding.

Decide what it is you want the very most from this life. Forget about motivation and the latest gadget, gizmo and diet. Decide once and for all to get rid of those unhealthy eating habits and instill new healthier ones into your life. Make a commitment to living a healthy lifestyle. Make a plan, stick to it and go out there and discover who you were meant to be. It's all about choices. Life is very short. Choose very carefully.

Last edited by rockinrobin; 06-18-2009 at 06:29 PM.
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