[TraceyElaine]

I am fat for soooo many reasons. I am an emotional eater, I eat out of boredom, I am a carb and sugar addict, I quit smoking a couple of years ago and replaced that with food, I eat from stress, and for comfort. But bottom line for me is that even though I know all this stuff it doesn't help. My biggest issue is believing that I am worth the effort. That is the one I struggle with alot. Making myself a priority and doing the work. If my eating and exercise would have helped someone else like my kids or my hubby I would have done it ages ago. But because it is me...I strugle with it. I'm working on that.

[rockinrobin]

http://3fatchicks.com/forum/showpost...71&postcount=1

After I posted my long winded response on page one of this thread, I started thinking about the "figuring out stuff" and the above post came to me. It was written a long time ago. It touches a tad about what we're talking about here.

[Glory87]

Originally Posted by avi0903

Thank you all for offering understanding. And I know it's all true. I know I need to just make the commitment to taking it day by day. I know it's true that carbs are my trigger, that I am a carb addict. I know I need to do like you all who have been successful and just stop eating those evil, evil, carbs that I fool myself that they offer me comfort. I too think of them as my only physical comfort, and I look forward to them when I am alone at night after my kids are in bed, because I don't have anyone or anything else to comfort me.

I know you are all right. I know what I need to do. And I hate myself, but I know that after the kids are in bed in about an hour, that I am going to look through the kitchen to find something evil to eat.

I need help.

Take charge of yourself. Your husband is gone, you are the boss - clean out your kitchen of all junk (your kids don't need junk either).

Normally, I'm not one to say don't eat after a certain time - except in cases like this. If nighttime eating is your problem - start coming up with ways to deal with this problem (for the record, my problem is boredom afternoon snacking so I tackled that issue). Brush and floss after dinner, declare the kitchen closed and do NOT go in there.

You need to break this habit, so get creative. How can you keep yourself busy after the kids are in bed? Can you call your mom, call a friend, paint your fingernails (hard to go rooting around in food bags with wet nails), post here, organize a closet, go to bed early, take up a hobby. Start food journaling, since I have been keeping detailed accounts in public (the maintenance forum) it has helped me not eat foods I didn't want to write down for everyone to see.

Keep telling yourself that is your hand that puts food in your mouth - YOUR hand, are you going to let some hand be in charge?

I found the Yes/No decisions I made to be very freeing. No agonizing over fitting foods into my plan, no trying to decide if it was "okay" just "no, I don't do that." It is almost cheating, how easy it is to simplify things like that.

[Nada]

Interesting post. It sounds like we are debating the merits of classic analysis v. behavioral/cognitive. At the moment behavioral/cognitive seems to be winning.

I also didn't figure it out before I started losing weight; I'm not sure I have it figured out yet (maybe I just like food!). What I did was I changed one habit for a whole month. And with that success behind me I changed another habit the next month, and another the next month until I felt I needed to jump into a program (WW).

Keep coming here and all the best to you.

[Sunrose]

I completely agree with the others who said that you don't have to figure everything out first - and that you may never figure everything out. For me, my actions had to change before I could start working on the emotional stuff, because it was the eating and covering up emotions with food that was preventing me from working out my issues in the first place. Then, as I started becoming healthier, I was able to deal with more of my issues. It's a continuos cycle of growth, and I'm not even half way there!

Make some behavioral changes first and I think you will be surprised how far it takes you!

[DCHound]

I won't repeat what Robin said but it's exactly how I feel myself. I love myself more than I love food. I deserve to look as good on the outside as I feel on the inside. So what if I was born overweight and have been overweight (at the best) or super morbidly obese (at the worst) my entire life? Past does not determine future unless you let it.

You have to WANT it badly enough to get it. That's really all there is to it. You have to WANT TO BE THIN more than you want to overeat delicious crap. Really, it's just that simple. YOU CAN TOTALLY DO THIS!!!!! Hugs!

[TJFitnessDiva]

I think when I started truly loving myself was when everything started to turn around for me. Girl I am my own best friend and even by myself it's always a party

Having that attitude made it a bit easier to commit to a healthier lifestyle & stick with it. I want only the best for myself.

[avi0903]

Hugs to you all!

On my roller coaster of emotions (emotional to begin with and recently medically confirmed to be in perimenopause) I woke up this morning feeling more upbeat. RomanceDiva and Rockin Robin and Glory and all of you just really touch me. It does begin with self-love. I don't know what it is in my past, but the thought of loving myself makes me wish I could. On a certain level I can think of things to love about myself (I love the thread that asks us to say nice things about ourselves). I have children and siblings and friends who love me and treat me right. Why did I fall for a man who convinced me there's something wrong with me?

Anyway, for whatever reason I guess I was meant to be married to him for a certain period of time, I was meant to have children with him, they are now for the most part grown and wonderful, and now I am on my journey as a single parent. And I am going to lose this weight, one day and one choice at a time.

I am sick of the fat. I do want to be thin more than I want the food. I do deserve to treat myself well.

I love you all. Thank you.

[kiramira]

You go, girl! And every day, you need to remind yourself that you will do what it TAKES to get there, not what you THINK it will take. There is a huge difference, there...
Let us know how you are doing...
Kira