To announce your weight loss goal or not? - 3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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Old 05-23-2009, 11:21 PM   #1  
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Default To announce your weight loss goal or not?

I read an interesting article a few weeks ago that has really stuck in my head. It talked about a study that looked at who was more successful in accomplishing a goal, the person who announces what they are doing to family and friends or the one who keeps quiet and just does the work to make it happen?

Here's the article in Newsweek. While it doesn't mention weight loss, personally it's the biggest goal I've ever attempted and I think fits within the framework of the study.

Here's a quote from the article, "Traditional thinking has held that it's best to make a public declaration, maybe even more than one. Enlisting others in your hopes will shore up your intentions, and motivate you to work toward your new-found goal. But is this folk wisdom sound? Psychologists have been exploring this question, and some recent studies are now raising doubts about the "going public" strategy. Indeed, it appears that some people may mistake the talking for the doing—and end up failing for lack of hard work."

What do you think? Have you announced your intentions to your family and friends or kept it private? Do you think your decision has helped you or not?
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:40 PM   #2  
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I've told everyone I'm losing weight. I've told everyone my goal is 150. I've told VERY FEW how much I have to lose lol!!! Does it help keep me accountable? Meh... not really. I keep me accountable.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:52 PM   #3  
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The only people who know how much I want to lose are my fellow posters on 3FC. A couple of my family members have noticed that I've lost a little but nobody has asked how much I want to lose, how much I weigh, etc.

My plan is to keep it to myself (except for you all here, of course). Once I reach the stage (please, God) where people are saying, "You shouldn't lose any more", then I will just start telling them that I'm not. I don't want to have to reason and debate my weight with my family.

I've never subscribed to the "public accountability" theory. I know it works for some people, but it just makes me feel resentful and stressed out for some reason. I like being accountable to only me; after all, I'm the one living in this body so it's really no one else's business! I know other people feel differently, but this is what works for me.
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Old 05-23-2009, 11:58 PM   #4  
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I am the same. I have told no one how much I have lost or how much I plan to lose but you all here.

My immediate family and a few close friends know that I am "dieting" but that is all.

Right now, I am just really waiting for say "Have you lost weight?" or something that acknowledges that somebody noticed.
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Old 05-24-2009, 01:14 AM   #5  
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I cannot hide the fact that I am watching what I eat and exercising from my family, so they know I am trying to get healthier. My sister and sister in law both lost about 50 lbs each a few years ago, one was quiet about it, the other talked about it all the time. I don't talk about the changes I have made, I just do them. One thing I am telling no one is that I have a goal of running the half marathon next spring. I have a way to go, but I have ten months to get there and get fit, and although no one would say it out loud, I don't want people thinking "Yeah, like YOU can run 13 miles." This forum gets me the support I need, so I don't need to annouce my goals to my family and friends.
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Old 05-24-2009, 01:37 AM   #6  
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I never told anyone my goal--it has been adjusted so many times I didn't know it myself actually. I rarely discuss weight outside of 3FC. I have a couple of very fit friends and we do discuss measurements and sizes and recipes. But in general, it's rare.
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Old 05-24-2009, 01:55 AM   #7  
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I kept it to myself. I think that worked better for me.
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Old 05-24-2009, 02:26 AM   #8  
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I've told pretty much any of my friends/family I've talked to recently. It doesn't make a difference for me whether I tell someone or keep it to myself. Either way it depends on me whether I succeed or fail
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Old 05-24-2009, 02:38 AM   #9  
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I've told no-one and no-one has noticed yet. At least when they do I'll know it's genuine, and not just trying to be nice.

In the past when I've told people, I've just been endlessly frustrated by ignorant comments about 'you shouldn't be eating that' by people who have no idea how calorie counting/portion control works.

I've ended up inadvertently telling one friend, in that I told him I was asking the doctor to reduce my bp meds since I'd lost nearly 3 stone since this level was prescribed - but either he wan't listening or is too tactful to mention it.

Telling people, especially naming a target, just sets me up mentally for failure.
Having a glorious site like this to talk about it on is completely different!!!!! \o/
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Old 05-24-2009, 02:54 AM   #10  
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My husband knows my goal, but no one else.

My family and friends know that I am trying to lose weight and eat healthier, but not anything more specific than that.

In the past when I have mentioned a goal, people sometimes tell me that my goal is too low and I'll look terrible if I get there. I don't think 135 at 5'8" with a small frame is unreasonable though. But I am not wed to a number anyway. I just picked a number I thought sounded reasonable. If I'm happy and fit at 150, so be it. That's where I'll stop. This is all assuming I can get there of course.

So no numeric goals to anyone but my husband who understands me well enough to know my true goal is to be healthy, and that my "goal" weight is just a guideline. I get discouraged too easily by criticism otherwise.

Last edited by Qualera; 05-24-2009 at 02:55 AM. Reason: clarity
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Old 05-24-2009, 05:20 AM   #11  
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I didn't tell anyone that I was trying to lose weight. I had publicly announced it -- and publicly failed -- so many times that I was too embarrassed to make the grand announcement once again. This time I was determined to let my actions do the talking for me.

My family really never noticed anything because I kept on preparing the same meals for them as always. I just changed how I was eating, but no one paid any attention. My problem always had been secret eating, so nothing much changed on the surface.

It took DH about three months to notice that my body was changing. He just made an off-hand remark that I was smaller when he hugged me.

I did finally speak up when I had lost 100 pounds, though. DH and I were eating dinner and I said "I've lost 100 pounds!" DH looked up, mildly puzzled, peered at me through his glasses, and said "Really?" That was that. I was fine with it because he always looked at me with eyes of love and never saw my size, big or small. So I never really changed to him.

My weight still isn't something I like to talk about with people outside of 3FC. I hate being congratulated for losing weight. I never should have let it get out of hand and I only did what necessary to fix the problem. Fortunately, the kudos are long since gone. Anyone who knew me heavy is used to me at my new weight and assumes it just magically stays off.

So I guess I took the private road while losing weight and still do. Except for here!
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Old 05-24-2009, 07:03 AM   #12  
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I told my co worker. We work in administration at a school. Parents and kids are always bringing by goodies for us. Kid's birthday cupcakes, etc. She helps me run interference when a little child wants to know why I don't want a cupcake from their birthday party. Many times I take the cupcake and tell them I just had a snack but it will be enjoyed later. (Which is true because my six year old son enjoys it when he gets out of class and comes to my office )

Anyway, others have started noticing that I am losing. If they ask and I tell them I am watching calories and exercising but don't go into all the details about my goals. I want my actions and results to speak for themselves.
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Old 05-24-2009, 07:24 AM   #13  
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No, I didn't announce anything about it. And I didn't and don't reveal how much I I've lost when people ask. I have told my closest friends and S/O, but basically I figure it's no one's business except mine.

I don't care to be defined by my weight or my loss. I've heard stories on 3FC of someone being introduced by a friend as "This is my friend X and she's lost over 100 pounds!!" Now is that the kind of introduction one wants to new people? I sure don't.

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Old 05-24-2009, 07:43 AM   #14  
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People around me know that I'm trying to lose weight. I've told no one except for you folks what my "goal" is.

I don't want to set myself up for another "failed" attempt. No to mention I don't think most people really care....
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Old 05-24-2009, 08:03 AM   #15  
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I told my mom I was starting fat smash to help with my autoimmune disease and to lose some weight. She got on my last nerves trying to tempt me with things and constantly asking "Are you all still on that diet" I mean hello Im nearly 300 lbs AND Im doing it for health reasons so yea you should think 2 weeks later Id still be on it. I fall off the wagon a lot at her house. So Ive let her believe weve stopped. And I will not be mentioning it to her again.
Ohhh and she NEVER has anything nice to say an after I told her I lost 10lbs on the phone she grabs my pants and yanks on em and says yea your coming down there. It was sooooooooooooooo FAKE.

And like many here Ive declared it and not done it so many times I feel like Im crying wolfe. So I will be doing it quietly.
I kinda wish I could do it without my husband b/c he gets competitive and he watches what I eat and that bugs me. He honestly doesnt see me as big as I am but he sees his own weight gain and he pushes his ideas of perfection onto me. Hes one of those people you should do everything he does and like evrything he does and hate everything he does. He doesnt get that everyone is very different and thats okay to be different.
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