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-   -   A lesson from my mother (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/171757-lesson-my-mother.html)

gumboot 05-15-2009 02:58 AM

A lesson from my mother
After a year in the hospital, losing both legs and living with complete renal failure for the past five or so years, my mother died last night. I am so relieved that she is not suffering anymore. The last two months of her life were brutal. She lived in constant pain, she had a mild stroke that left her right side of the face paralyzed. She suffered so much.

The decision was made on Monday to stop all medical treatment including dialysis. They reassured us renal failure is a peaceful way to go and she would slip into a coma and not feel any pain. They gave us a timeline of 3-7 days. It happened quickly.My dad and I were there holding her hands when she left us and she looked so peaceful.

It is a lesson learned not to end up in her situation. She ignored her diabetes for years and years and it eventually caught up with her. What a terrible disease it is when left untreated.

I do not (touch wood) have diabetes but it runs through both sides of my family. I know by being heavy I am dancing a fine line. I have no choice, I have to get this weight off. Just before I fell asleep last night I said to my husband "I know I have to die eventually, but I don't want it to be like that". I want to die an old woman in my bed having led the majority of my life healthy and happy.

I love you mom...rest in peace.

dutchgirl 05-15-2009 04:05 AM

Gumboot - what can I say?
I am so sorry for your loss and at the same time can appreciate the idea that it is a relief for you that your mom is no longer suffering.
Remember her as she was in better days.
My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

JayEll 05-15-2009 07:04 AM

Gumboot, :cry: I'm so sorry for your mom's suffering and also yours and your dad's.

I lost a friend to untreated diabetes. She was only 50 years old.

Do your best not to go there! :yes:


barefootnikki 05-15-2009 07:14 AM

I am really sorry for your loss. That is a lesson for sure, one i wish you didn't have to learn though.

Devsmama 05-15-2009 07:33 AM

I am so very sorry for your family's loss. I know what it is to lose someone that suffered. My mom died 2 years ago of cancer, she was 53. I also was relieved that the suffering was over. Take care of you and your family and may God bless you and keep you.

Numina 05-15-2009 07:55 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, Gumboot. And I admire the way you are finding a positive in all the negatives things your mom went through. Thank you for sharing this powerful story with us.

midwife 05-15-2009 08:24 AM

I'm sorry for your loss. :hug:

beautifulone 05-15-2009 08:27 AM

:hug: gumboot

time2lose 05-15-2009 08:30 AM


I too am sorry for your loss and for the suffering your mom and your family has gone through. I just said a prayer for you and your family.

You are wise to take action to prevent you having diabetes. I am sure that you will succeed in your weight loss.


nelie 05-15-2009 09:23 AM

gumboot - I'm so sorry for your loss.

I lost 2 great grandparents to diabetes. I barely remember my great grandfather but I remember him getting 1 then the other leg cut off then him passing away shortly after that. My great grandma (his wife) went blind due to diabetes shortly after that and lived about 15 years after that but probably because someone else (nurse) was keeping her diabetes in check. Neither of them had a weight problem either, my great grandma was tiny tiny but just didn't keep her diabetes or diet in check.

Momto2Ms 05-15-2009 09:26 AM

I am so sorry for your loss, but also understand completely about wanting her to be out of her pain. What a wonderful gift she has unknowingly given you. I am sure you will treasure it and use it for all it is worth.

DCHound 05-15-2009 09:38 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss. Diabetes is a terrible disease.

WhitePicketFences 05-15-2009 09:40 AM

Oh, gumboot, I'm sorry for your loss, and glad you were able to hold her hands as she left.

It's admirable that you are looking to positive changes in the midst of such hardship ~ not just in spite of it, but partly because of it ...

My grandmother has diabetes but it has been managed well for quite some time, and I admit I never really thought about diabetes very much until my mother-in-law was diagnosed. She is still a young woman and leaves it untreated. It is scary to me.

kiramira 05-15-2009 09:43 AM

Stay strong...


Cinnamon 05-15-2009 09:53 AM

I'm so sorry for your loss.

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