Thank you so much guys! I finally found the word I've been looking for - liberating! It's so liberating to just...cut it all away, to say it's a new me with a new outlook on life. That I don't need the horrible baggage I've been carrying around, that I don't need to be thin to have my hair as short as I want, that I can do whatever I want and everyone who says otherwise can kiss my slowly shrinking butt!
I feel like I'm putting my foot down and giving the finger to all the bad stuff that's been holding me down. I feel great