Sorry, this is really long!!
This week I have been crazy busy. It all started last Saturday when I had an unexpected house guest show up. He's my best friend and I haven't seen him in nine months. He's kind of a free spirit, and comes and goes as he pleases, which really doesn't bother me THAT much. So, he shows up with a bottle of vodka. I haven't drank throughout this whole weight loss journey, but I drank the whole bottle with him. On Sunday, I ate healthfully, but drank a soda. Monday I went to work and had a donut and soda for breakfast. I was starving, but didn't get to the grocery store because my friend was here, so no healthy breakfast for me. I had a job interview, so I ate bad for the rest of the day because I was on the road driving to and from it, and I met my cousin for dinner because she lives the area I was in. The rest of the week was hit and miss. I ate unhealthy foods for most of it, and drank at least one soda a day. To top it off, I only exercised one day this week. It was like once I did it for a few days, I craved the "bad" stuff.
I haven't been motivated at all this week. My energy has been flagging, I'm exhausted, I've had bad headaches, and I've been kinda depressed. I know it's because I've abandoned my weight loss plan. I know this.
However, if I can't maintain this lifestyle when my normal routine gets messed up (unexpected houseguest, job interview, writing sub plans) and I still have my normal stuff (preparing lesson plans, looking for a job) then how can I possibly maintain it? I like eating out with my family and friends. Though I know it's bad for me and I can stay away from it, I like drinking soda. It's easy, cheap, and I don't have to prepare it like I do my tea.
When I am on my own, in this town where I know virtually no one, it is fairly easy to not eat out and not drink soda. And though I hate it, and have to force myself to do it, it is easy to work out because that's all I have to do in the evenings. What about this summer, when I go home? What about next year, when I am (hopefully) closer to home?
I feel like giving up. This is so hard, sometimes. I have lost significant amounts of weight (40-60 lbs) before without even trying. Why is it so hard to do this time? Should I give up? Should I do the best I can and not worry about it? I just don't know what to do!