Psychological Problems!
 

I think I have psychological problems. :(

Lately I've been starting to think that I can really do it this time, and keep it off. I have started to have more self-confidence and instead of feeling overwhelmed with diet and exercise, I am starting to think it's fun, and enjoy feeling better as a result of a new healthy lifestyle. I know I am not going to give up this time. Even though I've lost a little weight here and there over the last few years, I am ready to just do it! In January I decided that this is my year and I'm not giving up no matter what. January and February were good, March not so much. But here I am back on track for April and for the rest of the year (hopefully), and the rest of my life!

The thing is, I am so scared! So many things are starting to go well in my life. I am going on three years in a great marriage. I just started a Master's program to enhance my career, and everything seems to be heading in the right direction in my life (literally for the first time ever, it seems). I am scared that now that I am going to conquer this huge obstacle I have faced my whole life, something TERRIBLE is going to happen. Like I don't deserve this or something and that things can't be this good. Maybe my hubby and I will lose our jobs and our house, or one of use will get sick, whatever other random thing my brain comes up with! All these thoughts keep going through my head and I just need to chill out!

Am I the only one who thinks this way? Please help! :dizzy:

Hi - I actually often feel this way. Like I'm holding my breath waiting for the next thing to go wrong.

I have just started a walking program, have just begun losing again after about a year of being totally unmotivated. I'm back in school taking two courses towards my degree. Things are good with the family. Now I'm waiting for something to go wrong! Why!?

I've been reading motivational books, like the Secret and Eckhart Tolle. I feel it's true that we have to be open in order to allow the Universe's blessings to reach us, and I think that for some reason I've allowed my fat to be a wall to keep blessing and good things out. I don't know why I've done this, but I believe that's what I've done.

Now I feel ready to take my wall down, get the fat off of me, and allow blessing in.

Good luck to us all!

I'm glad I'm not the only one in the world who feels this way, but I'm sorry you are going through it too. It's a very unsettling feeling.

I agree about being open to change. I think I started feeling that way a few years ago and that allowed me to drop some of the weight and make some other big changes, like getting out of an unhealthy relationship and finding a new, healthy one. I've been sort of on a slow road, and I feel like suddenly things are speeding up in a good, but scary way. I can't help but feel like it's going to stop! I guess I just need to keep going and trust that things will be okay no matter what. But it's hard!

LOL!! I just said this in another thread...about how fun it is this time!

I waited for the first 3-4 months for the other shoe to drop. For me to fail. For this fairy tale adventure to be over ;) I finally realized that I HAVE MY FAIRYTALE and it's real and it's OKAY to be excited and live for the now!!!

So maybe it's just a matter of getting used to things going right? Maybe when we are so used to trying and failing over and over again, we can't possibly expect ourselves to be able to just accept it right off the bat? Maybe we just need to give it time and then it will just become our "normal", whereas before, our "normal" was failing and things just not working out? I don't know. I'm just kind of trying to think it through. But cfmama, just knowing that you felt that way and still have such great success comforts me so much!

I think the same way and I totally empathize.

But I figure, it took time to program our minds waiting for bad things to happen and it will take a while, and it will be a struggle, to re-program them.

You are totally allowed to succeed. You're worthy of that success and having happiness in many areas of your life. And good things do not always mean bad things are around the corner.

It can be hard to accept, but we all just have to keep trying. Good luck.

I get that way sometimes but when I do I have to remind myself to stop worrying about "what ifs" and to appreciate what I have going on in my life in the now. Even when life throws us a huge curve ball we can/will adjust even if we think it's the end of the world.....you have to have faith in yourself & leave the rest up to who ever you believe in ;)

Super awesome advice! Thank you. I have kind of been trying to tell myself those things, but for some reason it helps to have someone else say it. :)

Enjoy these times. I'm sure you've earned them! Enjoy this healthier lifestyle you are creating for yourself. Don't worry about tomorrow. Just concentrate on building a stronger 'You. And, when the hard times come, you will be up to the challenge.

Trust me I know....we lost every thing in Katrina (only pilings were left where our house used to be) and it about felt like our whole world was destroyed. You do have to look on the bright side when bad things happen....not saying I was Miss Sunshine right afterwards but the whole ordeal has let me know I could take on the world if I wanted :)

I really like the idea that I am creating this healthier lifestyle and as a result I will actually be stronger and better able to handle any difficulties that come my way. I love that way of looking at it! Thanks! :D

It *IS* fun this time --- it's a first for me and VERY weird feeling.

I don't have any advice for you but the Universe doesn't reward hard work with disaster, right? Good luck sweetie!

I find this to be a very pertinent topic for me. I struggle with this constantly. Yesterday I was feeling very good about things, and had been feeling this way for a while. I've been through a divorce in the last 18 months, and things have been up and down. Lately, it's been, objectively, mostly up.

But I still get that awful feeling of something has to be wrong. My son is going to register for summer semester today, so yesterday I was telling him to call me because I'll worry about him. Then, I went off plan at night and went over my points because I was worried.

Sometimes I can control my worrying (and food), and then all of a sudden, not.

What to do?

I tend to be a pessimist. I keep myself from succeeding because of it. I've just come to realize this in the last five years. It kept me from losing weight for more than twenty years. I was so sure I couldn't do it. Since I started the weight loss I have focused on keeping my negative thoughts under control. I keep reminding myself that I am in control of the situation. It has made a world of difference for me. You can do it too! Don't let yourself keep you from a healthy life. If you stumble you can get yourself back up and back on track.

I think we have to look at the situation in terms of things we can control and things we can't. We can control the things we put in our mouth, the amount of exercise we do.. so as far as the weight loss this is in our hands. And we have to remember that with every bite we take and every step we take. You are the boss of those choices.. so when you opt for a salad instead of a Big Mac that is all YOU. No one can take that away from you unless you're in a hostage situation and are force fed fries and coke.

As for the other stuff.. losing jobs, losing houses, to some extent those things are not in our control. But what is in our control is our reaction to them. If tomorrow you lose your job, do you mope about it and go into a deep depression and let it get your completely down or do you get a little pissed off and try and show the world that a job loss can't take you down. You look for a new job, you look for new opportunities.. you re-evaluate your budget and look at how you can make due with what you have.

I'm not the most optimistic person in the world, but I know what things are in my hands, and what things are not. I worry A LOT about stupid things.. not even things like jobs, I'm talking about really stupid things.. and this is the only thing I know that helps me work myself out of the constant worries I have.

I can relate! I am super hard on myself and give up soooo easily when I am not perfect or become frustrated. This pertains to all aspects of my life, not just weight loss. Realizing that I am the one who controls my thoughts has been really big for me over the last few weeks and even months. But, sometimes I slip and the thoughts control me. I guess it takes practice to fully get a grip on negative thoughts after having them for so many years.

I totally agree with paper skin. I never realized before how much control I actually have over my weight. I always just said that I am fat, I have no control over my over eating, and thats just the way it is. I am so happy that I have finally taken control over this! but, the things we can't control do tend to drive me nuts at times. I am a worrier. I wish I wasn't. But, you aren't alone with your feelings. I feel this way too. Like ok things are going too good, something bad is on its way. Its superstition I think ;)

Thank you for sharing this. You are completely right! If I focus on what I can control and how I react to the things I cannot control, then that is all I can do. I have to let the rest go!

This was a really cool thread to read. I think everyone in the world has some psychological problems, it’s how they deal with them that matters. How they are manifested can be hidden a lot of times, ours just happen to show for the whole world to see. I started working in the mental health field 5 years ago, and I’ve really really learned a lot about myself and my weight. A lot of people say “oh I just eat too much”. Yes, if you’re 20 pounds overweight you overindulge too much. If you’re 150 pounds overweight, there’s something else there! I’ve read on here from various posters that this or that doesn’t matter, it’s all about the commitment. I agree up to a point. But I can commit to anything for a while, even years; but if I never worked on the underlying niggling little problems, eventually the wheels would fall off and I’d be right back to square one. Maybe not soon, but eventually and inevitably. I thought my emotional digging would be easier than most – there was no neglect or abuse as a child, nothing untoward ever happened to me, I had a happy childhood and a happy adult life. I had the best luck finding my true love, my first boyfriend and we’re still together 20+ years later and more in love than ever. My problems were definitely “Spoiled Brat Syndrome” or SBS lol, where I felt entitled to eat whatever I wanted and damn the consequences. I had people who loved me, a lot of friends and good life – what did it matter if I was fat? Who cares? I finally decided that I cared, that I wanted to live past 60 years and have a good quality of life. So the past few years I’ve been beating the spoiled brat within into submission :D I’ve always loved myself and had good self-esteem, and I thought a way to spoil myself was with food treats. I see now that it’s the same as feeding your dog til the poor thing can’t walk and his hips hurt! So I’ve stopped indulging my every whim with food and thought about WHY I felt I needed a treat, instead of ME needing the treat maybe I needed to do something for another person – it’s a great ‘high’ and no calories!! I've stopped making excuses, as in "oh i have to eat this or that or so and so will be disappointed" LOL as if anyone cares what i eat! No One is responsible for what goes in my pie hole but ME!!!! This whole thing definitely is a discovery journey, but one that’s really worth while and necessary to permanent change – in my humble opinion at least 

This is SO true! The good news for me however, is that I have realized that I don't have to wait to start losing weight just because I haven't worked out all my mental stuff. I can start making healthy changes and work on dealing with my issues at the same time. I have even found that taking the first steps in making healthy choices and beginning weight loss actually helps me to feel better about myself and to have the courage to take a look at and address some of the psychological stuff. Now that I'm thinking about it, I don't know if I could have even started this thread when I was at my highest weight, because the issue wasn't up at a conscious level like it is now.

Ditto!

yah ditto! excellent point - that's why it's taken me close to two years to lose 75 lbs, I feel a little discouraged sometimes that it's not more, but i've been doing a lot of soul searching work those two years at the same time!!! you're absolutely right that they can be done in tandem!