Why is it that I CANNOT seem to get myself back on track??? I just do not understand. I feel like I have the motivation, and then I eat like a cow. I am so upset about what I ate yesterday, I can't even tell you. And now I'm paying the price, because my body really is not used to all the high fat junk I ate yesterday. I just do not get it. Why am I talking all this talk, and then completely unable to follow through?
I've finally made the phone call to my doctor's office, I'm waiting for them to call me back. I am praying that they will let me get the blood test to see if I'm insulin resistant. If I am, it would explain a LOT of things.
Morning All..it seems as if for now, I have once again, found my way. I had 3 days OP and I am working on a 4th. Staying within my points, drinking my water and moving my butt. For the moment, it seems effortless and I am going to ride this as long as I can. And when I hit my next obstacle, I WILL overcome it!! This must be ome who I am, just something that I do.
Bella - You have been doing so awesome. I just want you to know how proud I am of you. You have really been giving this 100%. You just keep it up, we are all inspired by you!
Jennifer - How you doing sweetie?
Tamara - We haven't heard from you, are you doing ok? I'm worried about you.
BA - It's wierd isn't it. You feel like your ready, but then your action show your not. Just keep at it BethAnne, it'll come back.
I wish everyone an awesome OP day!! We are pulling ourselves out of this slump, let's keep it up!
Well, that's me today.... feeling somewhat better, have hubby here to help me out, but he's still sick too... this virus is a MESS, my swelling is going down a bit, thank goodness, so I finally showed a loss this morning when I hopped on the scale, but still not a satisfactory one, back to when I was actually losing...still making up, I guess...
Beth, for as much as I talked about getting back on track through last week, I still struggled, up until Monday, when I did good, stayed within my cals, I still don't know about yesterday yet, I'll have to check and see, but I'm pretty sure, I'm hoping I did...
Still no buttmoving, I tried yesterday, but I do know my limits sometimes, and it just wasn't happening... I'm doing better on the water, well trying to anyways, working on my first quart now, it's hard to drink when I already feel like an aquarium...lol
Sandi, great job, keep it going, we'll make it there soon (I hope!)
BethAnne - I know what you mean about the body rebellion against high fat foods! I ate one little bitty bratwurst the other night for dinner and it damn near killed me. Ugh. I was so gassy, I was chasing the dog out of the room!
I hope things go well at the doctor's office for you. Do you have a pretty understanding doctor? I know when I went in for my last pap smear two years ago (yeah, I missed last year...) my doctor - who normally is a great guy - kept pushing Xenical on me. I wasn't even that heavy at the time - maybe 170 lbs. I swear, at one point I wanted to ask him if he was getting kickback for every prescription he wrote. Sheesh!
Hang in there. The biggest failure would be giving up.
I am doing as good as can be expected. I did good this week for weight. I only gained a pound. I was not disappointed at all. It could have been more with all the stress. My husband and I are trying once more to work things out but there is one major difference. He admitted he has a problem and needs help. We are going in for counseling and I hope that it will help. I am trying to keep an open mind. He has kept his internet access to a minamuim and mainly when I am around. I also have access to his accounts so I can see what is happening. I don't want to check up on him but I may for the time being. I don't know if it will work out but I want to give it a chance for the family and I have (to my surprise) the support from my brother and mother. Both of which I thought would incourage me to leave. I still will need the support from my friends. I also realize this is an emotional abuse and hopefully with the help we will conquer most of the problems. My brother told me to step back from the feelings of hatered and take a good look at it and see what the true feeling was. I looked and saw that it is not hatered but disappointment and anger. I will need to learn to deal with these feelings and I hope that it will do us some good. I will try and post more tonight when on line. We have also had a major breakthrough with money. We got approved for a lone to take care of some bills that were not getting paid and some extra money on the side to get caught up on some. So that has lifted my spirits more.
Dealing with the stress I tried not to turn to food like I normally do. I cleaned the house and tried to keep myself busy. Which seems to have worked. Also it seems to be TOM. I am spotting alittle but not a real flow. That is from the Depo shot though. Take care everyone and I just wanted to let you know I was OK.
Hi everyone..middle of the week and were still going strong. I am feeling pretty good, which I am hoping this feelings stays around for awhile.
icewoman..*HUGS* You have every right in the world to fight for your marriage. I pray that your husband finds the help he needs and that you find the patience and understanding he will need to get through this. Were here for you sweetie, nomatter what.
Jenelle..hey there. I have learned that there are 2 types of doctors. Ones that will push and push meds on you or the other type, where you have to beg and plead for meds. Never win.
PNG..Glad to hear your feeling a bit better. With everyday, you'll become stronger and stronger.
Jacobsmommy..Oh chickie..you made it through the slump. I am so proud of you. You inspire us all.
BA..Take a deep breath and relax. Do you think that maybe your having such a tough time right now is because you expect yourself to be perfect? I mean, all or nothing kind of thing? We all fall into that trap. be patient for the doctor, and hope that they can figure this out for you. Your in my thoughts.
I'm starting to realize that the HARDEST thing for me is to get back on the bandwagon the same day I fall off.
Basically, I figure, I already screwed up, so this day's shot, and can't manage to get myself back on course. Then, you have the last 2-3 weeks where that happens EVERY day, so I never manage to get back on course. I think I really need to learn how to get right back on the SAME DAY I fall off. (obviously if my screw up is at 10 pm, that ain't happenin, but you know what I mean.)
Happy Hump Day all .. Today I've been doing fairly well. I ordered some new workout tapes and they came in the mail today.. so I was a little excited.. It was Richard Simmons Dance your Pants Off .. with his Toning Uptown and Toning Downtown videos. I havent done the toning yet but the Dancing video is awesome! I had so much fun ((trying)) to learn the moves.
Jen - Your doing AWESOME! You are truely and inspiration!
BA - Yes I have this problem as well. I feel like once I've eaten something I shouldnt have my day is shot so why even attempt to save it. But I always try the anyway... If I eat more.. I move more.. and when I have the Quarter Pounder and Fries.. I know I have to get up off my butt and do some extra activites.
Icewoman - Counseling is a big step, and if your husband has admitted he has a problem and is willing to go .. well that tells you he loves you and your marriage is worth fighting for. He could have just packed up and left, at least he's "attempting" to change... I sure hope everything works out for you.
Sandi - Your back on track now and your doing a really great job. Cheers for you ! for not giving up
PNG - We had a virus like this sweap through the house last year.. dd passed it to dd who passed it to dd.. who passed it to me .. who gave it to dh.. who sent it back to dd.. ARG ! I'm glad to hear your feeling better!
Will write more later..lost track of time.. eeeks
Traci
Sweet Tamara , if he is willing and follows through with counseling you have a darn good chance to work things out. He has to want to change and I want you to know Iwill pray hard that he does as he say's. My only caution is to remember that love is an action not words or promises. Girl if he takes action you are half way home so to speak. God Bless. You deserve happiness and a good partner. I too had to do everything possible to make it work.... you just may have a man who will fight with you for a good marriage. You can't do it alone it takes both of you. God Bless. You are in my prayers for a healthy and happy marriage.
Pam
Beth .....
We have all done self sabotage oh so many times. It is not easy to break life long habits and like so many other addictions you will have to fight for a while and make no mistake it is you , you are fighting. Did you know it takes 7 years to create a brain pathway...IE a habit! Now you can do it much quicker but smart lady that you are , you already know it must be caught immediately, and that is a key to changing a habit and an attitude. Look deep, really deep for the answers and I know you will find it because you are so very intelligent and have the self awareness that you do. I myself sometimes resort to having a heart to heart with myself in the mirror. Why? I can't lie to my reflection it shows what I have done to me and is in total opposition to who I choose and know myself to be. It may feel silly when you do it at first but like a picture from a camera you can't miss the truth. Hang in there Babe, I think sometimes you forget just what a strong and capable woman you really are. But........ some of us will know it for you and remind you often!!!
LOL.
Pam
I'm doing good today, hubby is doing great at not getting me evil foods, he went to buy stuff for lunches, and came home with all the stuff we needed for veggie sandwiches, avocado, sprouts, onion, tomato, spicy mustard, potato bread... and NO sweets I told him he should have grabbed a box of that skinny cow ice cream stuff, we finally have it here, and it's on sale this week, might be a nice thing to try....
Tamara, I'm so glad you are trying to get things worked out, and proud of you for keeping yourself distracted away from fodd as comfort
Zap, you're making me want to dust off my cardio groove video... love dance exercise videos, they hardly seem like real exercise at all, cuz they're so much fun
Beth Anne, you KNOW I have that problem, not to mention, if I have the hungries, or cravings, I'll eat everything I can get my hands on until I get what I want... which is why hubby is so fond of bringing me home my comfort foods, he's actually, in a backhanded way, trying to help...lol, and save himself some aggravation at the same time...
Tamara - I am so glad your hubby is willing to really try and work things out. If you do some research on the internet, you'll find there are a LOT of other women who are in the same boat that you are in. I urge you to visit some of the bulletin boards and internet sites.
BethAnne - That is the story of my life! In fact, I was just struggling with the "next Monday" mentality a few short weeks ago. What finally got me motivated was the realization that "I'll start over tomorrow" is what got me this heavy in the first place.
Hang in there
Icewoman.......
Just a note to consider for your awareness of the emotions. Disappointment and anger are by products of fear. Fear of losing someone you love, your dreams of what your lives could be together, managing alone with children and many others I am sure. You are not alone. We all go through these things and thank you for letting us know you are ok. You considerate , WARM , loving woman. We will stand by you no matter what, so hang in there. God Bless.
Pam
Well today was a good day for me. I have been op, and have drank lots of water. I feel it to, I have been gaining water weight and with the water I drank today and I had some lemon juice, I think double came out then what went in, lol.
Tamera, I hope everything works out for you. You are a very brave woman.
BA, you can do it, i know you can. You have done it before, you just need to really get your self in the "Zone", lol. I know it's not easy. I do the same thing. You'll get back on, you always do.
Zap, I have the "Sweating to the oldies and Toning" video and love them. They are great.
Jen, you are one of the people I look up to. You did it once and you will do it again. So will I. Then we can share more tatoo pic., lol
PNG, we chatted on the net, I hope you get better real soon!!
Well Good luck to the rest of you. I'll post again real soon.
Well, better today, hubby let me sleep in today, got the kids and the morning tidying for me...I hopped on the scales this morning (I know, I shouldn't when I'm not scheduled too, but I'm curious with all the water I was holding, how much of a fluctuation in weight I have as I lose it all...) and I'm down more...won't say how much, until my regular weigh in on monday, hopefully all the fluid will be gone, and I can go on to normal life... hope eevryone out there is having a good day
#158 Life has so many ups and downs
