Quote:
Originally Posted by iminhere
that sounds like commitment to me....
I'm not saying that I am not commited, or that commitment isn't a factor, but in all of the 36 years I've spent on the dieting rollercoaster there were many times that I wanted to lose the weight far more than I do now, and was willing to do far more to lose the weight than I'm willing to do now, and I still failed.
In large part, luck played the most important role in my even being willing to try to lose the weight "this time," because of failures in the past. I was pretty much convinced that trying to lose weight only made me fatter, not thinner, so I had vowed never to diet again, and to in fact, never get on a scale in my own home again (I was tempted to even refuse to let doctors weigh me).
When I had to stop working because of health problems and we moved to WI where my husband found work, at my first doctor's appointment about 6 months after that I had lost 20 lbs without trying. I've never accidentally, or unintentionally lost weight in my life. I'd been on a CPAP machine for a couple months before the move and the pulmonologist prescribing it had predicted that I might lose some weight without even trying because of the increase in sleep quality. I didn't have much hope of that, but I suppose it helped (along with more time for mealplanning and not having a vending machine handy or having to work unexpected overtime and sometimes having to choose between the vending machine and not eating).
My new doctor recommended low carb for the insulin resistance, but I was so skeptical of low-carb diets it took another year, and another doctor recommending it (one who had lost nearly a hundred pounds herself, doing so) for me to give it a try. She also was the first doctor to give me a positive response when I suggested stacking my bc to prevent periods, since I had such difficulty controling my hunger during the placebo week (I'd been suggesting it to doctors for decades, but I was always talked out of it).
I really feel like I've been drug along, almost kicking and screaming this time - and I'm still losing. I sometimes get so angry that I didn't have this information in my 20's, when I really had the physical strength and stamina to run with it, instead of crawl. I'd probably still be working, and most of my health problems would have never developed; but then I remind myself that I would have never met my husband, and my life would be different in many other bad ways as well as good.
This journey isn't always simple, it's almost never easy, and there can be a lot of twists and turns. I had to unlearn a lot to make progress, and one of the things I had to unlearn was judging myself for failing. Accusing myself of not trying hard enough, or not being commited enough wasn't true and wasn't working.
Seeing commitment as part of the puzzle isn't wrong, but seeing it as the only piece of the puzzle, and especially judging yourself or others because of some perceived lack of it can do more harm than good to some folks.