3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Boyfriend jumped on the band wagon! Driving me CRAZY!! It's a long one.. (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/162045-boyfriend-jumped-band-wagon-driving-me-crazy-its-long-one.html)

Michelle98272 01-19-2009 05:50 PM

Boyfriend jumped on the band wagon! Driving me CRAZY!! It's a long one..
Ugh! My b/f finally decided to join me in getting healthy. We borrowed a friend's scale (ours only registers 300lbs) so he could stand one foot on one and one foot on the other to get a better idea of what he weighs. He's 395lbs and motivated to make changes to lose weight. Great :) I think...We can do this together, support eachother, be buddies and have a built in cheering section.

What's the problem you say??? I am doing WW, just counting points and moving into this getting healthy slowly making small changes, 1 at a time. He's joined Daily Plate and is now on a 2000 calorie a day diet, drinking a gallon of water a day, going low sodium, low cholesterol, gung-ho gonna walk 3 miles before lunch!

I planned a healthy homemade chili with extra-lean ground beef, beans, onions, tomatoes, chili seasoning served with a corn bread muffin. It's too high in sodium for him, can't have the corn bread because it puts him over 2000 calories with what he's already eaten today. The chili is in the crock pot already to go for this evening but the new dieter can't have it. He can't just have a smaller portion or skip the cornbread...he's not going to have it. When I started doing WW, I didn't ask for anything out of the ordinary...I worked my eating around his cooking. I just at less of this and more of that to stay within my points. So now he's cooking up something that I planned for another dinner this week in addition to what I'm already cooking for tonight!:mad:

This is the same guy that didn't bat an eye a month ago adding an entire stick of butter to a pan of mashed potatoes despite me asking that he leave it out. (He did it on the sly)

I'm being a pissy baby, I know. I should be happy that he's joining me, that he doesn't want to suffocate to death due to his weight related apnea but I'm not thrilled about his all or nothing attitude. This is really going to sound silly but when I went shopping for groceries for this week (can't buy more, were out of $ until payday) He didn't let me know he was planning on changing his eating habits when I stocked up on my OP foods for this week. He's ate what I planned for my lunch tomorrow and at two of my 4 bananas that I planned for 4 breakfasts this week. Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrr...

Thanks for listening. I'm gonna go smack him in the head now. (JUST KIDDING!!)

Beautiful Ace 01-19-2009 05:55 PM

I would have smacked him already! I'm sorry that your diets are clashing, maybe you need to sit him down and have a chat about working together!
You already knew that I'm sure, but I lack any better advice to give. lol

Thin4Good 01-19-2009 06:04 PM

I would be pissed too - and he would be buying me some more bananas.

This would be a lot easier for both of you if you could get on the same plan. Maybe you could both sit down and figure out how you can make your meals work for both of you.

heather88 01-19-2009 06:05 PM

I feel the same way when my bf eats my food that I've already planned for the week. Now we are broke until tomorrow and I've only been able to eat about 1200-1300 calories the past 3 days when I should be having about 1800 -_-. Needless to say its had me smoking a lot more recently.

sprklemajik 01-19-2009 06:05 PM

congrats on him getting on board, but I agree with Ace, you two need to talk and somehow get on a moderate plan. I think in fairness you might have to bend towards him some as well. Don't points kind of have a calorie conversion, so like 2000 calories is = to x points. maybe he could work it that way points wise and you could agree to use less sodium etc.

froggie83 01-19-2009 06:06 PM

that would drive me absolutely insane, i'm riled up just reading about it. i can't stand that kind of ****. i bet he wonders why you're 'making such a big deal of it' if you get annoyed, too. MEN!

(sorry 3FC men!)

wchs2007 01-19-2009 06:14 PM

I understand ! My hubby and I started a diet the same day. Our plans are the same and it is still hard. He always shows a loss every 2 to 3 days. It takes me about 2 weeks to lose what he does in one week.
Everyone can already tell he has lost some weight. Just makes me sick!
I am happy for him but Boy does he get the big head!

I do think you need to sit him down and have a talk. It will be better if you both could come to some understanding.

mandalinn82 01-19-2009 06:19 PM

Sounds like you just need some planning. Here is what I'd do.

Mid-week (or before the next time you go grocery shopping) say something like "I'm so glad we're both focusing on being healthy. I want to make sure everything I have planned for meals next week works for you, so let's make our meal plan now and then we can do the shopping". Figure out what he's going to eat, what you're going to make for dinner...he may not be a planner, so he might need some prompting ("So, what should we get for snacks for you" or "I'm going to have X for breakfasts...should I put enough on the list for you to have that as well?").

Then make a list that meets BOTH of your needs and you'll be good to go! I do this...well, I take over the meal planning mostly, then ask "Does that all look OK to you?" at the end. It makes things MUCH easier and you always have the groceries you need to meet BOTH of your needs.

JulieJ08 01-19-2009 06:35 PM

I just have to laugh about the bananas. I think my roommates were ready to call the men in the white coats on me after I got up one morning to find my banana gone because one of their friends helped himself.

lottie63 01-19-2009 06:42 PM


Me and my bf are both doing tdp. (he's at 1600 cals I"m at 1400 cals and we are calorie cycling every other week)

so it's pretty easy for us, and he's very considerate and doesn't eat my food but if he did, WATCH OUT! lol.

I'd definately do what mandalinn offered as advice. sounds like a good idea.

Glad to see though, that you are both on the road to good health!

GirlyGirlSebas 01-19-2009 06:47 PM


Originally Posted by Michelle98272 (Post 2561989)
What's the problem you say??? I am doing WW, just counting points and moving into this getting healthy slowly making small changes, 1 at a time. He's joined Daily Plate and is now on a 2000 calorie a day diet, drinking a gallon of water a day, going low sodium, low cholesterol, gung-ho gonna walk 3 miles before lunch!

Just like in other areas of life, men approach weight-loss differently. Men do tend to be more aggressive and gung-ho and approach this as yet another problem that must be fixed....now! My husband and I are both doing this together, so I understand how difficult it can be when you have different approaches. But, just like in the other areas of life, you can compromise with each other in this, too. I recommend that the two of you sit down and have a chat....about menu planning, groceries, budget, being considerate of each other and not eating all of the bananas! Then, support him 100% and enjoy the new man who emerges.

Daimere 01-19-2009 06:47 PM

I know how you feel. I had portioned out my dinners for the week that I precooked that weekend. I found out he ate at least two of those for lunch. I know he used to eat my meat that I used for lunch for breakfasts and what not. It is so annoying. Luckily, I've started to make the base meals so big, that if he takes a few, it will be okay. I know I still need to explain WW to him because he keeps making snotty remarks like, "You don't need seconds." Excuse me, if I have the points and the guidelines set, I'm going to have seconds if I want it.

FB 01-19-2009 06:52 PM

I'm happy any time my husband wants to hop on the bandwagon but I draw the line when he's scarfing down my $40.00 protein shakes like they're dessert!

It's a new aspect of your relationship - with any successful relationship boundaries and limits need to be determined.

He's excited right now, that euphoria of positivity when you begin something new. We've all been there - try to encourage him while drawing whatever lines you need for yourself.

djay 01-19-2009 07:10 PM

Sounds like you are a pretty good planner...He just caught you off guard. Hopefully when you have time to plan around both of your diets next week it will go a little smoother and you can both get healthy and Happy!

Until then...I'm with you! I would be nuts by now and so would he because I'm not going to be driven nuts without driving him nuts right back! Make the cornbread and make sure you REALLY enjoy it in front of him...for 2 nights since you are short a meal and short an eater for the chili.

Good Luck!

xJox 01-19-2009 07:14 PM

Dh has always been health conscious so we have never really had that issue. We figured out long ago that I eat what I want, he eats what he wants. I do cook a meal for supper, if he doesn't like what I cook, he can cook his own.

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