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Old 01-19-2009, 06:28 PM   #16
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Just doing a quick google search it appears that around 30 points is around 2000 calories give or take a few. I agree with others you should both sit down and try to work out the differences. Below is one link I found that kind of explains the point system and how they come up with it. Show him that and show him how similar counting calories and counting points are. Plus I find if your making healthy choices at 2000 calories a day your not going to be too high on fat, cholesterol or sodium so tell him to ease up a little or he is going to drive himself crazy trying to count everything. I love counting calories and the only other diet I recommend to people is the WW because it's almost the same thing. I don't care for any of the fad diets. Just eat less and move more.

http://www.thefactsaboutfitness.com/research/diet.htm
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Old 01-19-2009, 06:35 PM   #17
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sounds like my boyfriend. all or nothing. when my boyfriend gets on a health kick, he doesn't eat-out AT ALL, he works out for 2-3hrs a day and has a drive and determination that I absolutely ENVY!

So I would recommend you try and work it out with him, without discouraging him and let him know he needs to leave your food alone because it is interfering with YOUR success at this! And since you both want to lose weight and be successful you need to let him know what you need of him and what you need for yourself!
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Old 01-19-2009, 06:40 PM   #18
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We turned this into a big fight with a lot of "You Always..." and "You Nevers"...in the end he had to go to work and won't be back until tomorrow morning. *sigh* I guess I felt like he didn't give a s*** when I was trying to do this by myself, not expecting him to drop everything for me but when it's his plan, I need to twist myself around to conform to his plan--Or NOT?!

I ended up just telling him I am proud of him for wanting to get healthy but frustrated that he jumped in with both feet without clueing me in to his plan. I let him know that we had to really make my OP stuff last through until payday and that he couldn't eat all of what was there because I needed atleast 1/2 for my plan. I told him we'd sit down together, menu plan and make a list before our next grocery shopping trip (keeping in mind it needs to be lower sodium, lower cholesterol) and come up with foods for both of us.

I also decided to prepack lunch bags with what I need for my breakfasts and lunches in brown paper sacks so that he can't see the banana's or baby carrots or cherry tomatoes or boiled eggs and eat them before I get a chance to put together my lunch. Just so I don't sound like a big bi*atch...I left atleast 1/2 of all the good OP stuff for him and improvised other stuff that wasn't really OP but (like a granola bar instead of a banana for one of my days first breakfasts--I eat my breakfast in two shifts, one at 6am on the way to work...eat a banana or granola bar with my coffee and then have the yogurt or egg at 9am when I get hungry again).

Poor guy, he's thinking he was doing something for "us" and I flipped out at him. Mars and Venus for sure!!
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Old 01-19-2009, 06:40 PM   #19
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Default Boyfriend jumped on your wagon?

Well don't be to discouraged.

I would give him a good lashing for chowing down all your bananas!

My dear boyfriend is on the diet wagon with me, but it is a little different because we live in two different states. When we are together, we both eat the same thing, because he loves the way I cook.

We both have different dietary goals, but we agreed to respect each others space and to replace anything that we over indulge in. We loves my blue bunny ice cream and he loves to raid my sugar free chocolate peanuts that I make.

He always makes an honest effort to replace the either the food or the ingredients to make it. I am sure if you talked to your dear boyfriend, you could come to an agreement. Just in case, hide some extra bananas at the office.
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Old 01-19-2009, 06:42 PM   #20
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Quote:
Originally Posted by howie6267 View Post
Just doing a quick google search it appears that around 30 points is around 2000 calories give or take a few. I agree with others you should both sit down and try to work out the differences. Below is one link I found that kind of explains the point system and how they come up with it. Show him that and show him how similar counting calories and counting points are. Plus I find if your making healthy choices at 2000 calories a day your not going to be too high on fat, cholesterol or sodium so tell him to ease up a little or he is going to drive himself crazy trying to count everything. I love counting calories and the only other diet I recommend to people is the WW because it's almost the same thing. I don't care for any of the fad diets. Just eat less and move more.

http://www.thefactsaboutfitness.com/research/diet.htm
Thanks, Howie..great advice...I'll do exactly that when I see him tomorrow afternoon.
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Old 01-19-2009, 09:23 PM   #21
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I feel for ya Michelle. I just about go nuts when an apple is missing or somebody ate my favorite flavor of yogurt that I'd been saving. I need to learn to label stuff...or hide it.

I'm sure you and your bf will work things out! I bet it'll get easier once you start making grocery lists together.
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Old 01-20-2009, 02:06 AM   #22
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It kind of seems like we're being hard on the guy and jumping to conclusions. I think it's great that he's trying to get healthy and I hope Michelle can support him like she would want to be supported.

It sounds like you did a great job talking to him and coming up with a quick plan (I love the bags) to make it work temporarily.

I think this whole thing falls under the category of "Nobody likes surprises." Once you guys get the kinks worked out I hope you will have fun getting healthy together!
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Old 01-20-2009, 02:20 AM   #23
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all this talk about nuts and bananas is making me hungry! Ha ha! My boyfriend knows how im working out, trying to eat healthy and he's decided to do it as well. BUUUT he comes up here (he's in new york in in calgary) and makes fried chicken and biscuits and mashed potatoes with BUTTER AND MAYO in it on his night to cook.....why do they have to taste so good? grr...he really enjoyed the turkey and salad and roasted veg i made him the next day...bwahahaha.....
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Old 01-20-2009, 08:32 AM   #24
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Now I've read all these post and there are some good points but ease up a little on who ate what. I know in our house the table has been turned and she ate something I wanted and I know I've ate something she wanted. That is just going to happen when you are living with someone. Whether it's OP stuff or junk food it's happened both ways. We just have to work together and talk through things. I wonder if skinny people fight over who ate what? LOL
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:06 AM   #25
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Im coming in a little late on the subject, but I wanted to offer my support. It sounds like you have figured out (mostly) what you want to do. Everything I would say has already been said.
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Old 01-20-2009, 09:28 AM   #26
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Quote:
I wonder if skinny people fight over who ate what?
They do but it's less emotive I think. The problem is that most of us trying to lose weight are struggling with the emotions of being overweight as well as the practical side of dieting.

Michelle - the reason you feel pissy (and you have every right IMO) is that he has effectively sabotaged your diet. There is an element of betrayal there because he should be supporting you, not standing in your way. I have this problem, I'm living at home right now and my younger brother is always trying to be more healthy. So if I bring home food which is on my plan, he then eats it because he thinks it must be more healthy than other foods in the house. It drives me up the bloody wall. Especially as he will eat the whole packet of something that should last me a week or two on my plan. I'd tried talking to him about it myself, but he told me I was being "petty" and "childish" and not being a good sister by sharing my stuff. It's got to the point where I had to get my Mum to tell him that he was sabotaging my diet. I now have my own shelves in the cupboard and the fridge and if he touches my stuff, I retaliate by hiding his protein shakes. He's finally learned not to touch, but I pretty much had to stoop to his level to get it. And given that he is an adult it's pretty pathetic that it came to this. If he had been my boyfriend I'd have dumped him over it, seriously!

But you don't have the same problem with your boyfriend - you know he didn't mean to make you feel crap. The advice you've been given above about explaining to him the consequences of what he is doing, how it made you feel and also offering to meal plan for the both of you, is all excellent stuff. I'm sure that once you've done that you will achieve harmony on the dieting front, and start to feel the support that going through it together can bring. Best of Luck!

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Old 01-20-2009, 09:46 AM   #27
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Now that your SO is on the same plan (yes it can be the same...calorie counting and WW isn't really that different when you look at them) you can fill the house with healthy foods when payday rolls around

Looks like you've found a temporary plan until then and I hope you can find a common ground.

I've been there with people eating *my* food. I bought some Laughing Cow wedges the other day (the 1pt ones) and I got one wedge & my husband ate the rest when I had to go do a party.....talk about pi$$ed!!
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Old 01-20-2009, 10:31 AM   #28
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I made a rule in our house that the food belongs to everybody. It is a pet peeve of mine. We've got 5 people here and I got tired of hearing "she ate all MY granola bars", etc. When I shop, I can't buy 5 different sets of food for 5 different people. Even if they specifically request something, it doesn't "belong" to them. So that rule has to apply to me too. The kids have gotten so they really like some of "my" stuff (turkey bacon, etc.), so I just have to buy more of it. It's a good thing that they are eating healthy food.
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Old 01-20-2009, 10:51 AM   #29
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In general most food in my house is up for grabs since this a lifestyle, not just me being on a diet, and I don't mind sharing usually but there are certain treats that are only for me, like my cheese and ice cream....those are usually so expensive and I can't justify letting my clan of hoover vacuums have it (my DH and kids ages 7, 4, & 2).
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Old 01-20-2009, 11:04 AM   #30
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well as a person that just gets urges to do things for no apparent reason i can understand him being bloody minded and just doing it. he didn't tell you when you did the shopping because if he's like me he wouldn't have known, he probably just woke up and something happend saw himself int he mirror a photo perhaps even noticed that your losing weight and is jealous. so grin and bare it until you next go shopping then sit down and sort yourselves out.

apart from that get him on here i'm sure howie and i can relate to him.
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