Thanks for posting this! It's something I've been struggling with lately as I have been feeling really upset and disgusted with myself because I have gained so much weight. It didn't help when my mom showed me pics from a couple years ago and I honestly could barely recognize myself because I looked like a different, happier person! I need to move on & be proud of myself for the changes I am making and have already made!
Sometimes we cling to things we know when everything else is changing. So here we are, changing our eating styles, trying to get moving, hopefully our body is changing too........so we cling. Is there something else to cling to that is not destructive to your emotional being? We know the chips are destructive to our fat cells, we know we have to put them down. Those negative fibers, deep inside our hearts, are just as destructive (actually I think they are more so)
Forgive but dont forget, but truley forgive.
If you are a Christian, ask for God to help you release all these negative feelings, and be washed clean, a clean slate.........
It's not easy. And you have to do it over and over again, but eventually you will replace the positive feelings for those negative feelings you kick out of your heart
Thank you.. I needed that reminder.. Iam a christian and I have a relationship with Him. I guess I never really seek His help in this area..
Thank you again for the words of wisdom..
I needed that today ....
I think I have already begun to forgive myself for gaining all the weight. I was 18 when I gained so the fault was mine and mine alone. I know the things that triggered my weight gain: depression, low self esteme, pregnancy, being in a disfunctional relationship. The list goes on. But I also know that the history if just that. History. The only thing I can change is my future.
It took me a long time and I had to do a little (fake it till you make it) to convince myself that I am strong and I deserve to do this. So I do it now.
I think in order to get rid of the weight you have to get rid of the guilt. At least for me. You have to believe you deserve it. And we do. We DO deserve it.
maybe im the 'odd woman out', but i dont feel that there is anything to forgive, nor am i mad at myself. i'm not 'glad' im obese, but i am human, and i have faults and learned long ago that if i dont like something about myself, to change it. There are a lot of other things i could have done in my life which i would have been angry at myself about.. things that hurt other people etc.. getting fat i did on purpose(might explain this in detail sometime) when i was in my early 20s as a coping mechanism.. it worked for me, helped me thru the issues i was having, and now that i no longer need the weight, im getting rid of it.
I sometimes think we as women tend to be too hard on ourselves.. we have to be the best wives, mothers, friends, etc.. and if we fall short on anything, we are so quick to berate ourselves. yes.. we gained too much weight.. but each and everyone of us here is trying to do something about it .. i think that should be applauded
hmmm... good question! Being obese has made me so unhappy... and has impacted so much of my life from when I was about 13... 2 marriages, numerous relationships, friendships, even my perception of myself... it's had a a direct impact on the choices that I've made...
Honestly, I'm not sure I know how to let it go... and if I can't, then how will I ever make it to goal and move forward? It's kinda scary to me.
I used to beat myself up for being so big, but that doesn't do any good. I think that with being overweight and obese my whole life, I've had a lot of time to cope with it. I don't get angry at myself anymore. I am more lenient with myself and am trying to commit to something that has been out of my reach for 20 years.
It took a long time but I think I've forgiven myself already. I believe there is a reason for everything and that my life, including my weight, has gone in a direction I don't understand but eventually everything will make sense . . . good thread.
For those of you unwilling to forgive yourself for being obese, let me ask you this:
Is hating yourself helping you lose weight? I sincerely doubt it.
So why not try forgiveness? You'll be amazed at how much better you'll feel!
So well said - hating my fat self isn't helping me. I must admit that forgiving myself will be a process. But, it sounds like a step in the right direction.
This is such a good thread...we can be our own worst enemy, but we really need to be our own best friend and supporter--especially if we don't have a lot of support in our lives.
I've beat myself up about a lot of things in my life, but it hasn't helped me, or made things better, or solved the situations I beat myself up about, so there it is, it does no good..
One thing that might help those of you who don't think you can forgive yourself is to instead start celebrating every single victory you have in both your weight loss journey and your life. You walked past that cookie, make note of it and praise yourself. You lost a lb, hooray! You didn't eat right yesterday, but today you've stayed on plan all day, hooray for learning how to get right back on track (isn't this better than beating yourself up?) and so on...
Today I am happy because I have lost 12 lbs this month, had one bad day of eating the wrong stuff (management luncheon and not good choices there led to other stuff), and the rest of the month doing really well and on plan--net result--things are positive and I am happy....
I could write a novel about what I don't like about myself, but that last paragraph is what I really need to hear!!
