Who was I kidding?
 

I just found an old picture of myself. I looked huge...about twice my current weight. I remember when we took the picture, I thought I looked good.

Someone told me that Denial stands for

Don't
Even
kNow
I
Am
Lying

So true...

I've never liked photos of myself, but that said, just celebrate what you've accomplished and take a beautiful photo when you get to goal!

That happened to me. I exclaimed to my mom "why didn't anyone TELL ME!!!". she said, "we did!".

~CGH~

I know when I see the old pictures of me morbidly obese, my jaw drops. I can't believe it. Yet at the same time, I look at myself and think I haven't changed much. Total disconnect!

When I am heavy I am always too afraid to look at pictures of myself because I know it will make me cry so I just don't look!

Talk about denial. I know the place well.

I used to see photos of myself, the very few that I'd allow, and wonder why I looked so enormous in them. Just figured that the camera adds about, oh I don't know a few dozen lbs to oneself.

But the odd thing about it was, that my family or whoever else I was looking at in the pics, all looked the same exact size in real life as they did in the very same pics.

So I thought the camera only made *me* look heavier.

Funny thing is, now I look at pictures of me and think that I am HEAVIER in real life then I am in the photos. Someone please explain THAT ONE to me.

And choirglhotel, this made me giggle outloud:

Oh my gosh, I just read it again - and giggled outloud again. I'm sorry. I'm sure it wasn't meant to be funny, but that's just how it struck me. :)

I dont look at my pictures either. Im too disgusted. I like the little thing about denial though, makes sense.

Great acronym. But I do KWYM :)

I was going through pictures today of me at a convention last April....OMG I thought I looked great! So yeah I know what you mean

that's okay, it's funny now! LOL.

~CGH~

Oh thank you for saying so. It really IS funny - now. That "now" part being very, very crucial. ;).

My sister likes to trot out old pictures of me, now that I've lost some weight. I don't know why she gets such a kick out of it; I guess because she's been helping me lose weight (she's an exercise physiologist) and she figures I can handle the truth now. Which I can, mostly.

Tonight she handed me a whole stack of old photos. After I stopped feeling like crying for that miserable-looking version of myself, I asked her to scan a couple. They're great befores, after all, and I will never look like that again, so I can deal with them :)

I look in the mirror and I see a slender woman. Each day of my life, I feel like a slender woman. Then,I go clothes shopping or I see myself in a picture and reality slaps me in the face and I wonder "when did this happen?"

pandora i so hear you. I went looking for 2 and 3 year old pics of myself last weekend ( i was feeling bummed about myself).

I didnt even realize. I didnt see it! And I sure didnt let people take pictures of me (I've got like 2 full body shots from 3 years... and i'm posing or standing funny)

Seeing a picture of me was pretty well THE turning point for me. Like you, I thought I looked REALLY good that day. The picture was of me and a couple of friends--I couldn't believe how big I was next to them!

That is so funny! I can relate.

I am, unfortunately, not terribly far off from the weight I was in my "before" shots. But, I'm back on track and will re-lose those pounds. I'll have to take a new series of loss shots. :)

I can so relate to this. I still have a screwed up body image that I have to reconcile myself to. The AHA moment was last summer when I was at a work function and I had my picture taken (formally, so no getting out of it) with the CFO and CEO. When I saw the picture I was completely shocked and mortified. I thought I looked great bit here was the proof of what I had done to myself. I am not going to hide away from it, though. When I reach goal, I am going to have a another formal picture done and then I am going to place the photos side by side so that I can see where I started and where I am.

What's KWYM?

know what you mean

KWIM know what i mean

Oh, I have been there! In October I threw my friend's bridal shower and wore this shirt that I felt fabulous in... then I saw the pictures from the party! Eeek! I haven't been able to get myself to wear it since.

I found a picture like you were saying--I now have it in my wallet to remind me. But it really WAS a bad camera angle, wasn't it?

Man, my best friend right now, is a tiny girl... Standing next to her for pictures is TORTURE. But she's my best friend and I WANT pictures with her!!!! The only thing that keeps me from deleting the pictures, is the fact that when I look back at them..... it will be proof of all the hard work I've done!!!!

It always amazed me how I could look in the mirror and not see the fat. I never looked as bad in the mirror as in pictures. So I just didn't allow pictures! It is weird how the mind works. I'm still afraid of having pictures taken. I'm afraid I'm not as small as I feel.

I only have the bathroom mirror in my house to see myself in. There is another mirror in my room, but it is up too high to see myself in. There is a full length mirror on the inside of the downstairs, hall closet.

I avoid it like the plague!

I will get ready to go somewhere, using the bathroom mirror (which only shows my face and shoulders) and think..."Oh I look good." Only to be devistated to walk by a window or something out in public and see the rest of me. Its like a kick in the gut! I just want to run away and cry, scream...I have to curb my reaction because 9 times out of 10 I have one or all of my boys with me but inside; I feel physically ill and hear all sorts of hateful things that I am screaming at myself. It makes me want to never leave the house again. To an extent, that has sort of happened. I don't go anywhere unless I need to. I don't go anywhere because I want to. Its just too awful to have to find something decent to wear and because then I have to face what I really look like.

I really hate that. I really hate that there are NO pictures with me and my kids. None. I have old pictures of me and my husband, but none of us as a family. I really hate that. :(

One of my goals is that when I reach a weight I am comfortable with we will take a family portrait. We've never done that and have almost no candids with the three of us, only pictures with other folks when we have been forced to do so.

Right now I like myself in pictures...but I'm wondering if I am still kidding myself!