Putting the brakes on

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  • I haven't posted much in awhile... I have been struggling with my eating lately. Last month I gained ten pounds. I got on the scale this morning. I am up 5 pounds from the beginning if THIS month. THAT scared me. If I do not put the brakes on NOW, I am heading back to the same misery I just worked so hard to escape from.

    I have been letting my emotions get the best of me, plus it is sheer laziness. I have slacked off eating veggies because they are annoying to prep and I have been letting myself have fast food like 3x a week. That alone will throw the weight on. Just laziness, and not wanting to deal with anything.

    Yesterday I made a commitment to change just a few things to start. I decided to cut wayyy back on the sugar again (just a bit in my morning tea, and fruits as snacks). I also told myself, no fast food this week. I had to really fight myself not to stop for fast food on the way home last night at 7pm with tired cranky kids, but I made it home and ate pretty healthy.

    I also had stopped exercising almost completely. I am turning that around also, and biked yesterday.

    I am dealing with a lot of *junk* in my life. Husband being gone so now I am doing everything alone again. Plus I lost my health insurance and am desperately trying to find coverage. And I had my repeat PAP 2 weeks ago (I had a LEEP/large area of precancerous cells removed this spring and this is to see if it has come back) and they have had a delay in getting the results and I am ripping my hair out worrying about it. And I need a mammo because I had some bad spots on the last one and they need to check if they have grown... but without insurance... not happening. And my children, 3 of them have serious health issues that are stressing me out. Have to take the toddler to a children's hospital for some pretty invasive testing in a couple weeks. The kids do still have health insurance... I don't.

    Okay, enough whining. I really need to firm up a daily strategy to get back on track. For now I am winging it.. just trying to eat healthier stuff, not buying junk, getting veggies and fruits into myself, and moving more.

    Suggestions welcome. I really just needed to get this all out of my head and face it.
  • I don't have much to say in the way of suggestions, but I just wanted to tell you how great it is that you're recognizing this problem and making the decision RIGHT NOW to return to a healthy lifestyle and your weight loss plan. That is hard to do, because I'm sure it's frustrating that you've gained a little back. But remember that it's just a little--overall, you've lost 47 lbs and that is AMAZING. To lose that much weight takes lots of hard work, and we all can see how strong you are for getting through such tough times and still coming out on top. That is truly inspirational. You said the weight came from "laziness and not wanting to deal with anything," but it certainly sounds like you have had to deal with a LOT.

    We are all very proud of you, both of the progress you've already made and because you're recognizing a problem and you're deciding to fix it instead of slipping further. Bravo! And I wish you the best of luck with getting back on track. You can do it!
  • I know it's so easy to fall back into old habits. I am the queen. But now that you have recognized and stopped in your tracks, just keep going. Failure is not in falling down, but in not getting back up!!!
  • support
    Good job getting back on track-we all stray sometimes.

  • Hi Lynn,

    I'm so glad you posted as I was wondering where you were and how you were doing. It's so easy to fall back into our lifetime habits when the stress hits. There is so much that you can't control right now, but you can control what you eat and if you exercise. These are two areas where you make all of the decisions and your decisions can benefit you! You deserve to feel great. You deserve to have control over your emotion and your food. You deserve to have piece of mind in at least these two areas of your life.

    This may sound corny and be a little hard to do at first....but, I recommend looking at yourself in the mirror each morning...right along with brushing your teeth and hair....and giving yourself a pep talk. "I am worth eating healthy foods and exercising. I am worth the effort and the payoff." At first, it may feel awkward and strange, but there have been many studies about positive self talk. You might be amazed at how much better your outlook will be after a few days.

    Hang tough! We're pulling for you.
  • Wow, I can't even imagine what it must be like to be going through all that, but I just want you to know that I think you're pretty amazing for what you've accomplished so far and for getting back on track. Goodness knows I've fallen off more than once!

  • Now's as good a time as any to get back on that wagon.
  • I too do not have health insurance and there have been some times in the past couple of years where I did not go to the doctor because of not wanting to have a huge medical bill. However, having said that, I would encourage you to go for a mammogram. There are programs that are underwritten that will cover that cost. Ask and apply. I think, it is important that you do, especially with three young children depending on you.

    No, you do not have to do all of this alone. Seek out support through your local county office, a church and/or neighborhood. If other family members can help or a trusted friend, let someone care for the kids while you decompress. The added stress is a call for you to learn to develop a supportive community that you can depend on when your Dh is not available. Besides, it is just such a good thing to have a community. We all live in them but how much do we participate in them.

    I hate to run counter to others have said here but your health comes before those extra 10-15 lbs. I am sure they are sodium-induced from the fast food. Eat healthy of course but don't worry about that. You have enough on your plate already. That can come later when your life has simmered down.

    First things first. Mammogram. Care for the kids. Extra rest. Someone to talk to, cry with and give hugs. here are a few until you get some good ones there.

  • hi Lynn

    i took off for few months myself, and i always taught about you and the other ladies around while i was missing
    is so much easier to pick unhealthy choices but is mo much worth not to do it.
    i know that you've worked so hard to loose the weight, and i remember you were riding your bike pretty much everyday...why don't you try again...just for few minutes...few times a week...you can do it
    i know you can
    one step at a time till you back on track

  • Hi Lyn, I'm glad to see you posting, I was watching for you on the accountability chat and peeking at your blog. I saw you were still blogging so I knew you hadn't given up. The other chicks are much more eloquent than me, but as always I am pulling for you. I think we are alike in that I can't have sweets around for an occasional treat, just won't work, and you can't let yourself have fast food, it's a slippery slope. You have hit your challenge. Maybe focus on eating healthy and kicking the sugar and fast food habit for now, and don't worry about losing, just try to maintain until you get your footing back?
  • Thanks so much for all the supportive words.

    I am doing well today with my eating. I really am trying to just focus on breaking my bad habits I let back in (buying junk, and eating fast food). Yesterday I wanted fast food SO BAD but I skipped it and came home. Again today I was out shopping and let myself get hungry. It is SO EASY to just grab a burger or some kind of junk in the store, but instead, I bought a rotisserie chicken for $5 and some fresh walnuts, and came home and ate like 6oz of chicken. When I feel up to it I am going to roast some green beans for a snack. I just have to start THINKING and saying no to bad ideas. Eating healthy is really enjoyable when you get into the habit of it.

    I do definitely need to build some support around me. I have no family except my 5 children, and while I do have a few friends I don't really have anyone I can lean on. That's gotta change, just not quite sure how yet.
  • Hey Lyn, sorry to hear about your health issues and your other struggles. I can only speak from my own perspective, but making things offlimits helped me immensely (I know some people hate offlimits so I understand this may not be an option). For me, it just simplified things - for fast food - I just don't eat fast food, I don't do that. I don't even remember missing it/craving it and it's not even a blip on my radar anymore - it's not a factor in my life at all.

    Definitely don't try to wing it right now. Maybe make a plan for an entire week of healthy eating and then buy the stuff? I hate to waste food/money, so I am more likely to stay on plan if I know I have food at home that will go bad if I don't eat it (kept me out of Chipotle last night, since I already had a salad at home ready to go).
  • I pretty much do what Glory does. There are some things that if I let them in my life at all, they will take over; sugar being my biggest thing. Also refined grains. When I don't eat sugar and I don't eat refined grains--when I just absolutely refuse to let those foods have any place at all in my life--then the rest of my diet works itself out.