So as you all know I struggle MAJOR BIG TIME with keeping motivated to eat right and exercise. I do really well for a while, and if I'm lucky I lose 10 pounds, then I'm off on another bing for months and gain it back....

The 2 times in my life that I have become REALLY REALLY motivated have been when I've had a crush, and want to lose weight and look my best around whoever he may be in hopes of gaining their attention. I know it sounds weird, and I shouldn't be losing weight for anyone except myself, but its the truth. I've only done really really really well dieting twice in my life, and all the years of dieting, and thats been the huge motivator.

Well I've come upon something new.

I developed a crush on a guy (one of my best friends) several months ago. Finally a couple months ago, I kicked it into major gear thinking if I lost weight he'd become interested in me. Much to my surprise he was already interested in me! We've been dating for a few weeks now, and its going very well. I'm beyond excited! (at nearly 22 years old and FINALLY I've got a boyfriend!).

Well here's the problem. I've become SO happy in the last few weeks, sitting on cloud 9, that I've "let myself go" - kinda - You know when you're really happy, its hard to not eat the junk food? Its hard to get up earlier and exercise. I can almost hear that little tiny voice saying "why work so hard? you've got him. he likes you for who you are. be happy". But I'm not happy. I want to be thin and healthy.

I don't know if I'm posting this because I need to just vent, or if I need advice. Is there anyone else here who has felt this or gone through this before?

Oh, homegirl, do I hear that. I had the same thing happen about 3 years ago when I fell for this AMAZING man. (I was 24 at the time) Now that I think about it he probably really did like me for who I was, but, I let my self confidence get in the way. The time I spent trying to get myself to the point where I could think he would like me. While it may make me seem like an awful human being - I was actually with my current boyfriend at the time and we were having a really rough patch. But the idea of having someone that was unreachable and just generally interesting was kind of the apple in garden of eden for me. I went back to my life and also became comfortable and I gained 45 pounds.

But what you are going to realize is that as you get more and more comfortable your (if you have them) bad food habits are going to start effecting him. My boyfriend, who grew up eating healthy, began eating like me so that I wouldn't feel like an outsider. His weight crept up almost 40 pounds in the three years we have lived together. I carry so much guilt because of that still.

Make your life change now. Because when you do it to impress someone else it is so short lasted. It is not the real commitment to yourself that you need to make the changes. Speaking from someone who has seen the so-called light - having inspiration is wonderful - but make sure you are the key factor in your new-found canvas.

I know how it feels. My DF and I have both put on 30lbs since we got together in a year! Just remember that it isn't about what he likes. It's about YOU and what YOU want. If he only likes you based on weight, he's not worth much anyway. The point is that you can't offer anyone else "real" happiness when you aren't happy with yourself in the first place, as cliche as it sounds. Not to say you shouldn't be with someone, that is great Just dont base your selfworth on wether or not you have a boyfriend. Do what you have to do for YOU simply because you can and you should.

I think that came out right...