[gina1221]

So I have been struggling terribly for last 2+ months. My weight has fluctuated up and down within the same 4 pounds for the last 2.5 months. On the bright side, I saw a lower number on the scale yesterday and today and prior to that my clothes were still getting looser so I was trying not to obsess over the number on the scale.

Since August 2007, I have been training for a triathlon that is happening next month (Sept 13). I have been running 2-3x a week, biking 1-2x a week, strenght training 2x a week and last month started swimming 2x a week. Well on my 3rd time in the pool, I slipped on the stairs going into the water. It didn't really hurt, just one of those things kind of like stumping your toe - you know it happened and mostly forget about it soon after. The next day, I was having some mild pain in my big toe and it was a little swollen and slightly bruised on the side. I thought I must have twisted or jammed it in the pool when I slipped on the stairs and didn't think anything else of it. I had tickets to the theatre that night and proceeded to put on 4" heels and go out. Well by the end of the play, I could hardly walk - had to lean on my mom to get back to the car and immediately took the shoes off. My mom (she's a nurse) suggested that maybe the toe is broken and I should limit my runs for a few weeks. So for the next three weeks, I didn't run - I only biked, swam, and lifted weights. At the end of the 3 wks it still hurt too bad to wear heels but I was able to go for a run with minimal pain. Still not being able to wear heels is a major problem for me. I work in a professional enviroment and dresses with flip flops just doesn't bode well so I made an appointment with a podiatrist. He took some x-rays and determined that I have a non-union break (actually 2 breaks) of the sesamoid bone (small pea shaped bone under the big toe at the ball of the foot). The breaks are too far apart to heal on their own thus non-union. The bone is very small (I didn't even know these bones - there are two of them on each foot - even existed) so they do not try to fix them. The main course of action is to avoid weight bearing activities (no standing weight training or running or activity that would put pressure on the balls of the feet - and no heels) until the pain subsides (usually 6 weeks or more) and then slowly return to those activities with special orthopaedic inserts. So I have gone from dresses with flip flops to slacks with running shoes (so I can use the inserts) - on a side note, work is being great about this but I haven't had any client meetings during this time. It has been 5 weeks now with very little improvement so I have had to drop out of the triathlon. I am having a very hard time dealing with this as my podiatrist said that this type of injury is very bad for someone who wants to do any type of competitive sport or dancing. He said there is surgery to remove the broken pieces but that the surgery is very complicated because of the location of the bone and surrounding tendon (described as picking gum out of hair). I left the doctors' office in near hysterics. I'm still working on devising a plan to get my active lifestyle back and am planning to contact an orthopaedic surgeon after my follow-up with the podiatrist next week.

On to the teenager... first off, this child is not mine. She is 16, from Germany, and staying with us for a month. One month, how bad can it be, right? Well, my experience with children is limited to my niece and nephew who are 5 and 8 and apparently they are angels or at least old enough to still hear the words that come from mouth. This teenager (yes, she speaks English and quite well) will sit at the dinner table with her headphones on and ride in the back seat when the passenger seat is empty - ok fine, she's a teenager - I let it slide, it's only for a month. From some of my other post, you may remember that I have a binge eating disorder which I have learned to mostly control. I have also learned what my trigger foods are and they are NOT allowed in the house. Well, yesterday, I came home from work and started preparing dinner. In the space of about 2 minutes, I ran into THREE of my trigger foods - white bread, chocolate cake, and Ben & Jerry's ice cream. I nearly flipped out - I screamed at DH, "Why is there Ben & Jerry's in the freezer?!" He came running into the kitchen - we have had this talk. Obviously, he didn't know about it. The teenager was in her room (likely with her headphones on and not hearing my screaming) because when she came out she proudly announced that she had bought some things and we were welcome to have some. I said no and that the B&J better be out of the house by tomorrow. Granted she doesn't know me and has never known me any size but what I am now but I still obviously look like someone who could lose some weight - I don't want to have the eating disorder talk with her. She and DH had already been out to the Ben & Jerry's store to have a sundae and invited me to which I replied, "I have not had Ben & Jerry's in over 13 months, I'm not going to start now." Does anything in that statement say, "Please bring Ben & Jerry's into the house."?! UGH! And then, she ate my Lean Cuisines that I bought to take to work. On the bright side... only 7 more days til she goes home.

Oh, and we're moving at the end of the month and have barely started packing.

I am so sorry about the extremely looooong post but I really felt that I needed to get this off my chest. So those who are still with me... thanks for "listening"!

[GradPhase]

Yep. She sounds like a pretty normal teenager. Sounds like you may have been a little harsh on her, considering she was hoping to do something nice by sharing a treat with you - which could have been a step in a great direction. Unless you explicitly told her not to bring it in the house, and not to eat your food - there's no way she could have known. She can't know what you're going through unless you tell her - not that you should have to tell her. You just can't assume she'll 'get it' if she's not being explained that there's something to 'get' at all. She's far from home, and having to adapt to an entirely new culture in and of itself. That's a LOT of information to have to take in every day - and she probably doesn't understand what set you off at all. I'd want to keep to myself, too, if I tried to do something nice and was yelled at for it. And besides - the back seat thing isn't a passive aggressive American teen thing - it's just a regular European lifestyle thing.

However, I'm extremely sorry about your injury. That has to be so frustrating and upsetting - especially because you've worked so hard for so long to compete in this triathalon, on top of pain, tenderness and overall being uncomfortable. I hope you have a very speedy recovery and get only good news from your other doctors.

[Schmoodle]

Moving is certainly stressful and I am sorry for your injury, it must be very frustrating to be sidetracked when you have worked so hard. Those things are called life and I think the secret is to learn to deal with them without turning to food, which it sounds like you have done, because you have been maintaining your amazing loss, so congratulations to you and give yourself some well-due credit!

I have to say when I started reading the teenage part I expected something really horrible - like drugs, or extreme disrespect, sneaking boys into the house to spend the night, disappearing without letting you know where she was. Really it doesn't sound so bad. I agree with Eskinomad that you can't assume she understood your rules unless they were explained clearly. Same thing with the headphones, yes it is rude, but I would just explain that the rules of the house are no radios, phones, etc. at the dinner table. Actually, I feel kinda bad for her, I hope she has had a nice visit. What was the intent of her stay and what was it that prompted you to bring her into the house?

I had my husband's niece from France stay with us last summer, she is 14. I think she had a nice time but I know being away from family and in different surroundings was tough for her. There is a culture barrier as well as a language barrier. I have experienced it from the other side too, spending a summer with DH's family, although I was 21 the first time.

If you have a week left with her, maybe you could have a talk about the ice cream thing, explain it to her, and see if there is something she'd like to do with you before she leaves.

Of course I don't know this kid, I apologize if I have misinterpreted the situation or sounded judgemental, definitely not my intent. That's just what I got from your post. You said you didn't have much experience with young people so I though I could offer some perspective! Hope you all can get through the next week okay.

[gina1221]

Thanks for the kind words. I think the biggest stressor for me is currently the injury and with that the added stress of basically a stranger in the house and moving, I am probably letting "little" things get to me more than I normally would.

The teenager is my husband's cousin's daughter. He hasn't seen his cousin since he was a teenager (he's in his 40s now) and had never meet the daughter. She wanted to come to the US to get the experience of what it's like to live here. Actually, DH and I now believe that she didn't want to come but her mother wanted her to come. Since she has been here, we have been to Washington, DC for a long weekend. While we were there we took a trolley tour where you can get on and off at the different locations. She didn't want to get off at any of the monuments and said she doesn't need to see them because they are just for dead men that wanted to be remembered (and this was her first weekend here). We also went to a couple of baseball games (she seems to enjoy these as she got angry when we wanted to leave at the bottom of the eigth, score 17-5 and it was already 10:30pm on a work night for us). We have been to a preseason NFL football game - she didn't enjoy it but then neither did I. And her and DH went to Myrtle Beach, SC last weekend. I had a project due for work so I wasn't able to go with them. We have also taken her to see Dark Knight at IMAX, the outdoor movie at the museum of art, and to see a 3D movie - she only enjoyed the outdoor movie and actually covered her ears through most of Dark Knight. Honestly, I know it could be worse but I really expected her to be more involved and social. When we are at home she rarely interacts with us and speaks to DH only in German even when he responds in English. I think she is rude, unsocial, and generally trying to be difficult but then maybe that's just a teenager. I feel that we have gone out of our way to do things we thought she would enjoy but at this point DH and I both think she never wanted to be here which is bad for us and her.

About the food, we have taken her with us to the grocery store on several occassions and she wanted mini pizzas and sandwich stuff (hence the white bread) at home for lunches, the pizza are still in the freezer and the sandwich stuff hardly touched in the fridge which is the main reason I was ticked about the Lean Cuisine.

Probably should have included this info in the original post but it was so long already.

Oh, and we didn't set any ground rules when she got here which in hindsight was a huge mistake.

[GradPhase]

I can still empathize with her a lot, and can really appreciate why she's reacting the way she is to what's going on. I'm an international kid and it was REALLY hard at first. She's probably shed a lot of tears over all of the changes this month.

But even still. Only a week left, good luck

[Schmoodle]

Gina, ah, that clarifies things some. I know when DN was here it was stressful because I felt responsible about making sure she had a nice visit. DH was unexpectedly called away for most of her visit (he has a job that can be unpredictable), and I had expected him to be home on vacation to entertain, so I hadn't taken off work. Plus she knew Dh but had never met me or the kids. So I would work until 4, get off early, then set out most evenings to do something "fun" like DC or Gettysburg, etc. And she was very quiet and reserved so I was never sure which things she liked or didn't like. I think it's always hard having someone in the house for a long time - don't fish and company both start to smell after 3 days?
It's a shame it didn't work out better for you guys, it does sound like you have done your best to entertain her. I know you'll be relieved when she has gone home and you can concentrate on your move.

[lifechange]

Oh, well Just think what a great vacation her mom is having!!!!

[bargoo]

I, too, think you were a little hard on the teenager, sounds like she thought she was doing something nice for you. I would suggest that you just say "thank you" you don't have to eat it. When someone gives me something I do not want, I just say "thank you" I then give it away ( without their knowledge) This gets it out of my sight and she doesn't know the difference.

[Beverlyjoy]

I am so, so sorry about the injury and all the other stresses. Glad you came here to unload - it always helps.

[valpal23]

ya got it off your chest -- now you can move forward.. AND you've only got a week left with her! You're going to have to keep us posted about that tri... I'm talking updates. photos.. etc. (good luck with the move.. I haaaaate hate packing)

I'm thinking of starting running as a maintainance strategy (once I get to stop obsessing about weight loss) and I'd LOVE to learn from what others are doing.

YOU CAN DO THIS GINA!!!

[Lyn2007]

{{{Gina}}}. I hear ya. It's hard. Ortho problems suck, and teens can be very stressful. I have 3 of them and a preteen. I hope you can get some peace soon and feel okay about things. You have come really far. Maybe you can't be a triathlete, but you CAN find a new path to health

Hang in there...

(p.s.... I highly recommend the exercise bike for non-weight-bearing exercise!)

[xxxtine]

It seems like you are under a lot of stress. Only a few more days and then you don't have to worry about German Girl. I don't think she was being malicious. Teenagers are well...self involved a lot of the times.

Besides that? I am sorry about your foot but its better to take care of that now and then try again for the triathalon. If you can train for it now you can train for it later.

Good luck with the moving!

[Sheila53]

I'm so sorry about your foot injury. It's so difficult when we're used to doing something and then we can't do it. But I'm here to tell you that although you may not run again, you can find other activities. I had to quit running because of physical issues so I took up aqua jogging. A class is offered at my gym, and I love it--my heart rate gets up, I challenge myself to go faster, and because it's non-impact, it really helps with the injuries (although you gotta be careful getting out of that pool! ). Many runners aqua jog as a training tool or when they have injuries--it helps you keep your running form and the resistance strengthens your muscles.

[gina1221]

I have to say you gals are really amazing. I appreciate all of the kind words and advice. I am feeling better so far today - the urge to have a huge "pity party" for myself is subsiding.

Lifechange - That is too funny! And, DH and I actually said this at some point after she had been here a couple of weeks.

Lyn - I don't know how you do it with "almost" 4 teens in the house... I'm sure I would run away from home. I have been biking but am finding it hard to get my heart rate up because I can't put pressure on the balls on my feet. I'm sure I just need more time to find my rhythm.

Sheila - Thanks for the info on aqua jogging. The thought hadn't occurred to me. I guess when you're going through an injury it's hard to see past what you can't do to see what you can - I'm still struggling with this part. I'm going to look into that and see if my gym has a class as well.