3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Scared to try (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/143869-scared-try.html)

tkdkathy 06-14-2008 11:23 AM

Scared to try
Hi, everyone,

I still come here to read posts and try to get encouraged. I am so discouraged---I have had numerous major stressors occur in the last year, and I am worried about my health, but scared to try anything anymore. I did WW for a year and lost a little, but mostly maintained. I am taking medication that causes weight gain, but have been assured I can lose weight if I am "really strict". :o It is medicine I have to take---nope, no alternatives right now.

How can I be "really strict" for long enough to lose a lot of weight. :( I need to lose to take care of my heart and liver----but I literally don't know what to do. I read success stories all the time, but I try to start some program or other and cannot do it for one day right now. And I am stressing myself about what plan to follow. Whatever I decide seems like the wrong thing.

I have no idea what I weigh right now and do not really want to know---I get very discouraged seeing the numbers. Oh, my signature is old---I probably weigh more than my start weight right now. Just hoping for some inspiration........I feel scared to come back here and post---again! I feel like such a failure :(. But there HAS to be a way for me to reach my goals and be healthy. What is wrong with me? Thank you so much for listening.

SoulBliss 06-14-2008 11:38 AM

I am sorry you are dealing with these issues. I have to be honest though, everyone I know who is really successful with weight loss and fat reduction has to be "really strict". If all it took was small, occasional healthy habits and changes I think no one would be overweight!

You are tall, you have that going for you. What else do you have going for you? Any support network? A good neighborhood for walking? Access to healthy foods, a farmer's market or local grocer? A library with good nutrition books?

Make use of what you DO have going for you and stop focusing on what you "can't" do.

Begin to look at the positives and allow the negatives to take back seat, until they just fall away. ;)

Bunnababy 06-14-2008 01:17 PM

I think every one of us that have or had over 100 lbs. to lose have felt exactly like you feel. There was a thread that got lost in the crash that kicked my behind, it was not directed at me but it surely did get me off my butt to do something. I joined WW and have been exercising since then.

The only advice I can give you is to get going, find something and grab on to it whether you think that is a program you want to do permanently or not, just grab ahold.

I too take medications that make it harder but it still has to be done whether it is hard or not. I am saying that to myself as well as you.

SoulBliss had some good suggestions about getting information. I hope you will stick around and fight this hard battle with friends who know how it is.

Good luck to you. :hug:

GradPhase 06-14-2008 01:28 PM


kaplods 06-14-2008 02:25 PM

On a specific note, if your medication is prednisone, or another steroid, you might find reducing carbs helpful, but talk to your doctor (or better yet a dietician) first about how low carb is too low carb for you. There is also a thread here specifically for those dieting with prednisone. I had a very difficult time on prednisone. My doctor told me that it increases hunger and slows metabolism, but on the positive note can make exercising a bit easier. If it is prednisone, you definitely may have to remember that even weight maintenance is quite an achievement, so if you lose a quarter pound or even stay the same, it is reason to celebrate and keep going. The hardest thing to remember is that the only failure IS deciding not to try.

I know your fears. I was terrified to try to start losing weight again, because dieting had only ever resulted ultimately in weight gain. But, I remembered two "sayings" that showed me I had to do it differently this time.

If you do what you always do, you'll get what you've always gotten.

The definition of insanity: repeating the same behavior over and over, and expecting different results
__________________________________________________ ___________

So how to do it diffferently? How do you find the keys to success that you've been missing? I don't really know for you, I'm still learning for myself, but I did change my perspective on how I defined success. Success no longer was a week with at least a 1 lb loss. I could control what I put in my mouth and how and how often I moved my body, but the scale had to be taken out of the equation. The scale had to become a tool, not the reward. I had to stop hating the scale and start using it as a tool. I weigh every day. I have to remind myself sometime that no single reading of the scale tells me anything about my progress (water retention and all that). I write the weight down. I keep a food journal. I keep a symptoms journal (because of my health issues) and I keep a diary to express my frustrations and insights). If I miss a day in my journal, or a week I don't beat myself up, but I realize that it will be harder for me to find the patterns that will lead me to success. Basicaly, I've become both scientist and lab rat.

So if weight loss isn't success, what is? Success is following my plan. Journaling, staying close to my food plan. I say close, because staying within my food plan is like hitting the bullseye, but "close" still gets some kudos, there's never a reason to say "I had an extra apple, I might as well empty the fridge down my throat." Exercising - again even if my target is three times a week and I only exercised twice, that isn't failure.

Progress, not perfection. I think when you hear that you have to be strict, it's easy to think that means that you must walk that line of perfection and never once make a mistake or you're doomed. I don't think that's true. I think by strict, you have to be consistently improving. Consistently making changes that will get you closer to where you want to be (even if those changes, don't themselves lead to substantial weight loss).

It's taken me a really long time to lose 49 lbs. Three years. It's easy to think that at this rate, I might as well give up. It's easy to beat myself up for not putting more effort into this. But I can also look at the progress I've made, and the miracles too. The health improvements have been much more impressive when compared only to the pounds lost. I'm more able to exercise (and just do basic daily tasks that had become impossible). The pounds lost contributed greatly to the health improvements, but it wasn't just the weight. Exercising (and by that I just mean moving more, not only "I am exercising now" exercising) strengthened my lungs and muscled and improved my endurance. If I had lost these 49 lbs, but without the exercise and without the healthy diet changes and the better sleep and the learning to deal with stress.... I know I would not have made as much progress. So, I have to keep in mind that weight loss is not the only measure of success. If it where, then liposuction would result in improved health (it doesn't).

I'm not saying that weight loss doesn't figure in the equation. If you make your plan, and you stick closely to it, and the scale doesn't move (or God Forbid, moves in the wrong direction) then you didn't fail, you just might need to give it a little more time, or you might need a new plan. Knowing which it is can be tricky, which is why I do weight daily, so that I don't misinterpret one bad weigh-in.

Don't know that any of this applies to your situation, except that you can succeed, especially if you rethink success and don't beat yourself up for struggling. Struggling isn't failure. In itself struggling is success because struggling means you're trying.

chick_in_the_hat 06-14-2008 06:49 PM

If you look at weight loss as a life long journey it tends to push you away from specific plans and towards changing the way you live. I don't know if you are an 'all or nothing' kind of person or a 'baby steps' kind of person, but either one will get you there long term.
All or nothing =
I guess I need more detail on what was most difficult for you with Weight Watchers to maybe understand how to help....but you will need some kind of plan that fits who you are. I'm not cut out for weekly meetings...but I get tons of inspiration from 3FC.

Baby steps =
Start thinking about what you CAN do. Be it commiting to going for a walk 5 days a week for a month. Be it cutting out sodas. Be it cutting out corn chips...whatever you can commit to. Then start building habits. Once you are on track with one habit, try one more and so on.

One day at a time, one foot in front of the other....forgiving yourself when you have a bad day. And getting back up and moving on with your plan.

Kaplods - dang, girl that post is fridge hanging worthy. :D

kaplods 06-14-2008 08:34 PM

Thanks Gina,
I wish I remembered to use such "pearls of wisdom" on myself more often. So I guess I should print it and put it on my fridge too!.

I did print up little motivational posters "You Can Do It!" and "Make Every Choice Count," and I put them on the walls of my bedroom, bathroom and in the kitchen inside the cabinet doors and on the fridge. They really did help, for a while, but even though I look at them every day, I've stopped noticing them. I just read an article recently in a doctors office that "reminders" on the fridge only work for (I don't remember how many days, but it wasn't a lot). I guess I really need to replace them more frequently, maybe make them different colors, I don't know.

I also read that a reminder in the fridge, is better than on the fridge, especially if it's something very out of place, like a stuffed animal or something (Eww though, I just imagine all the fridge odor soaking into little Mr. Piggy).

No matter how you slice it, hanging in there is tough though. Our cultural expectations for dieting are the diet cycle:

Deprivation - Frustration - Hopelessness - Surrender - Indulgence - Remorse -Repentance - Deprivation

It's hard to break that cycle, because in many ways it means swimming upstream against conventional dieting wisdom. I find it soo easy to fall into old patterns, especially since I've been on that carousel for 36 years. It was ingrained in me by kindergarten (my first diet) that if it tastes good, I probably should feel guilty for eating it - and all sorts of anti-pearls.

But, one step at a time, and I figure I'm going to be doing this for the rest of my life, so if it takes me two more years or twenty to get to my goal weight, it really doesn't matter all that much, epecially since the weight isn't my only goal. Even when I get to my goal weight, I'm sure I will still have new health goals to set, work for and accomplish.


tkdkathy 06-14-2008 09:43 PM

Thanks so much, guys! :hug: I am always stunned by how caring and thoughtful you are. Just writing my post actually helped me get a grip. I am starting again today--for now, counting points---your words helped more than you can imagine. Thank you, again.

Pandora123a 06-17-2008 06:09 AM


Your posts are always so helpful and thought provoking. This last one really is inspiring for me.

Thank you

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