Since I have really decided to accept the fact that this fat is just not going to disappear on it's own (I know right, big surprise) I have tried taking inventory of the "why of the why's" I have hesitated to actually put effort into losing until now. Part of me has come to the conclusion that while I KNOW that I have to get this weight off, to feel better, to help put my RA into remission, to look better, etc... it scares the crap out of me to lose 100 pounds because I know that there is going to be a huge amount of gross disgusting lose skin that will be left over. I am terrified of working so hard to lose this huge amount of weight, and look even worse at my goal of 135 than I do at 240. I'm not comfortable being 240 by any means but I know what every inch of my body looks like right now, and I know how to position myself or wear certain things to hide certain areas I'm not happy about and it scares me to not know what is going to happen to it when it's 100lbs lighter. I know I should be more worried about the health aspects of losing than the vanity of it, but can't I be concerned about both aspects?
I'm curious if any of you have this fear or if I'm just a total weirdo.....?