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-   -   Afraid of losing myself again... (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/138233-afraid-losing-myself-again.html)

Sandi 03-28-2008 11:01 AM

Linda :hug:

You know how much I love you and I am so sorry that it did turn out to be lung cancer. I am here for you if you ever to need to talk, that's how I lost my Dad. I know all to well the emotional toll it takes when someone you love so much gets sick.

I need to tell you how terribly proud I am of you at this moment. You saw that you have two paths you can take right now. There is the "easy" path of just letting yourself take a backseat, eating away your emotions, making the excuse of "I need to put my energy elsewhere right now" and the other much harder path of finding a way to keep on with losing weight and getting healthier all while adding the additional responsibilities of being there for mom right now and dealing with all the emotions that come with someone so dear to you being ill. Linda, before, you would have run right down that easy path, but you have grown and this time you paused and you reached out for help. That is so awesome. :hug:

You already know the path you need to take and you know the reasons why. You just need a little shove in the right direction. Well, here's your shove. The good news is that the harder path is filled with us. Cheering you on, supporting you, and even carrying you when we need to.

YOU CAN DO THIS!!!!!

famograham 03-28-2008 01:21 PM

You guys are amazing, thank you SO much!

Rudy and I were talking about this issue last night, which is a miracle in itself!
He had seen my thread title, and I could tell he actually wanted me to talk to him about it.
I explained my fear....and he said to me "Well you know, this time really is different! It's not like we are going to throw a benefit concert and she's going to get better".

OK, so that sounds TERRIBLE in print, but he's SO right. Last time, there was a MILLION things I could DO...I was sooo insanely busy planning that whole thing, it really did take up my whole life for several months.
The point he was trying to make was that this time, what my mom needs from me is strength, and emotional support..and when the time comes, she'll need help with her own day to day stuff. But I won't actually be busy from waking to bedtime DO-ing. So I should still be able to take care of myself. I just hope I'm strong enough not to use food to escape this.

I have been back on plan for several days now, and I'm trying to fill myself with hope for the very best. I'm thinking in terms of the QUALITY of the time we have left, even though I still don't know how long that will be. From what I've read...it could be several weeks, or several years. I guess we'll know more about that, after the biopsy.

I LOVE YOU TOO!!!!
:grouphug:
Linda

Jen415 03-28-2008 03:31 PM

One thing I'd like to mention...if you start thinking too much about the future (how much time she has left, etc), you will TOTALLY miss the present. She is here with you NOW...don't miss out on it!

famograham 03-28-2008 04:05 PM

YES!!! That's exactly what I was talking about here:

Quote:

Originally Posted by famograham (Post 2121710)
.... and I'm trying to fill myself with hope for the very best. I'm thinking in terms of the QUALITY of the time we have left, even though I still don't know how long that will be. From what I've read...it could be several weeks, or several years. I guess we'll know more about that, after the biopsy.

I am allll about the quality, and will NEVER, EVER take another day for granted, don't worry!

:hug:
Linda

Dorys Girl 03-28-2008 04:42 PM

The best thing you can do for your mom to take care of yourself. You can't be your best for her if you're not healthy. She loves you and wouldn't want you sacrifice your health just because she's going through a rough patch.

Slashnl 03-29-2008 12:48 PM

Linda, just wanted to add my support to this thread. You've received some great advice and you sound like you are taking some positive steps.
Keep healthy! And keep taking care of yourself!

famograham 03-31-2008 12:12 PM

Today, I REALLY miss our Sarah :angel:....I wish she were here right now :(

:hug:
Linda

PS Mom is at her appt. with the lung specialist right now...I will update when I know how it went.

Jen415 03-31-2008 12:15 PM

I believe she IS here, Linda....:)

famograham 03-31-2008 12:25 PM

True enough! :) I believe that, too :yes:
But I wish I could hear some of her always amazing words!

rockinrobin 03-31-2008 12:39 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by famograham (Post 2125637)

PS Mom is at her appt. with the lung specialist right now...I will update when I know how it went.

Sending lots of positive thoughts your Mom's way. :hug:


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