3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   A sort of Smack in the Face! (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/138195-sort-smack-face.html)

findingfawn 03-27-2008 10:48 AM

A sort of Smack in the Face!
I'm not taking it as a bad thing, but kind of was taken back a bit this morning while in the shower...

I always shower after I exercise. I use it as a bit of me time (with 3 kids around all day long, I don't get much of that!). Lately I have been thinking of how great it will feel when I'm down to x pounds and then even better when I'm at y pounds. This morning I was at goal, and suddenly I realized "I will never be a skinny person, I will someday be a recovering obese person". Part of me was kind of depressed about that realization... but then I realized it was a greater accomplishment than just being a skinny person.... I will have been the mountain (notice I didn't say to the mountain..lol) and returned to the beach. Not that the mountain is a bad place to be, but the beach is so much more ummmm tropical.

Daffy29 03-27-2008 11:33 AM

Ok to hug you? :hug:

We are all different. Those of us who battle our weight sometimes set ourselves up for huge disappointment, often followed quickly by failure, by setting unrealistic goals for ourselves. For example, if I said I expected to have Helen Hunt's body when I'm done. Not going to happen, sorry.

You have acknowledged that when you reach goal, you will be who you will be, and that is determined by your body and genetics to a large extent. This is something that weighs in favour of your success.

Congrats to you.

findingfawn 03-27-2008 11:45 AM

Thanks for the :hug:! We all need them on a regular basis!

You know... this time when I began my journey things have been very different in my head. I think way differently than I ever have... I am constanly thinking of "how healthy is it?", and I have never ever thought that when "dieting" before. This time I don't even consider it a diet, I consider it taking back my life. I am more determined than ever before to get in control.. and hit my goal weight than ever before.... I do set big goals for myself, but that is just because if I don't I know I won't get anywhere (I am a horrible procrastinator with everything... and so the only way to get me kick started it to have a bigger goal... or I will wait till the end to do it... if that makes sense..lol).

I am so happy to have found this board! I find myself sitting here reading way too much, but I love the inspiration!

Robin41 03-27-2008 12:15 PM

I think recognizing that you will be a recovering obese person is a fantastic realization. Probably every one of us has lost weight before and gained it back. I think we do it because we think we've gotten to the end and can now eat and do whatever we wish. Why not? Skinny people eat dessert, why shouldn't I? Skinny people have second helpings, why shouldn't I? Net result is gaining it all back.

Realizing now that this is going to be a lifetime effort may be the thing that helps you keep the weight off.

I love the shower as "me time". I work with my husband and when he asks me why I have to take a shower when we get home, I always reply "to get away from you". He knows I'm just playing with him but everybody needs a few minutes without the world intruding.

SCraver 03-27-2008 01:39 PM

I had a very similar thought one day a while ago... i thought to myself, that even if I was able to lose the weight, I would have to work at watching my weight, f o r e v e r. And it overwhelmed me, and so, I stopped trying... This time around, I am doing like you - focusing on eating healthy = I think about how nutritious something is before I eat it. I think about getting some veggies in every day. I try to exercise 3 times a week and I am focsing on how that exercising is changing my body. What I am saying is - I am focusing less on the end goal and more on the journey (while still keeping that end goal in mind - just not my only thought).

I have also started looking at my 'skinny' friends. I asked one of them if she had to work at keeping 'thin'. Her reply was "absolutely". My sister watches her diet and is a regular exerciser. It then occured to me - the 'skinny' people in my life have to work at it everyday, too... even though they have never been overweight, they still have to watch what they eat and get regular exercise... it is how they have stayed thin.

I have actually been thinking of my exercise time as 'me time'. It is SO important to have time to yourself!
So... Now I feel better, knowing it doesn't matter what I have been in the past, everyone has to work for what they want.

findingfawn 03-27-2008 03:01 PM

I love all of your input! It is great to know that there are soooo many of us out there that can connect on a level that many people never even dream of!

Robin your accomplishments totally amaze me! SCraver you are well on your way too! Good job!

KateB 03-27-2008 03:49 PM

The one thing I keep telling myself is I should only be making changes that I feel I can continue for the rest of my life. Meaning nothing drastic, no fad diets to drop a quick 5 or 10 pounds. Make well informed changes that I can stick to.
I read a line in someone's signature that said, "Being fat is hard, losing weight is hard, maintaining weigth is hard. Pick your hard" When I read that it was like an "A-HA moment" for me.

When I come home from work and I am tired and I think it would be much easier to order pizza than it is to cook a healthy on plan meal, I ask myself this, "So take it would easier huh? Is it worth sabotaging the past 3 months of dieting? Would it beeasier to just go back to 300 pounds? Was it easy to weigh 300 pounds?? OK THEN...QUIT YER *****IN' and COOK!!"

Tomorrow and the next day and the next will come and go if I lose weight or not. Do I want to look back on those days and think..."I should have exercised more and ate less." Or do I want to look back and say, "I did what I could and I will continue to make the best effort I can." I cannot change the past, but I can learn from it. I can use it as a tool to make the future better.

Michelle125 03-27-2008 04:11 PM

I understand what you mean by being a 'recovering fat person' when you hit your goal weight. Maybe it's true that we all will be 'recovering fat people' instead of 'skinny'. But I'd like to put an idea out there...

To me, labeling myself as 'a recovering fat person' would be a negative thing. Even now, at a size 16 I don't EVER call myself fat. And I don't like accepting my body the way it is. I am actually pretty tired of people saying that. If we all accepted our bodies then we wouldn't be here doing the work to change them. Do I love my body? Heck yeah!! But I don't accept one ounce of my obesity.

But when I hit my goal I will be a skinny person! I will hardly ever talk about how I used to look. I will not hang pictures with myself looking like this. I won't be in denial, but I don't want to set myself up for going back to the way things used to be. Your brain is a powerful thing. If you feel now that you are doomed to always be 'a recovering fat person' then you'll never want to make it the whole way, because what's the point? But the truth is that everyone has the ability to be skinny, and genetics and metabolism are no excuse. Some have to work harder than others and eat different things, but everyone can be a low body fat percentage- everyone. And you must believe that one day you'll be 'skinny'!

I'm looking forward to being skinny and having people ask me how I keep that way! :)

So anyways, those are just my thoughts. Not sure if that made sense? :)

findingfawn 03-27-2008 05:16 PM

Kate.. I'm a big "I don't feel like cooking tonight" person.. and I'm home all day....lol. I can totally relate! I love your thought of today and tomarrow! That is part of what is keeping me on track, knowing that I may as well work my butt off today even though I don't want to because defeat feels worse than anything in the world, and if I do nothing I have been defeated!

Michelle... I totally see your point of view, I don't share it... but I understand it. I just think it hit me I will never be able to just let go and eat what ever I want. I will take alcohol as an example. My father was a terrible alcoholic, so was my grandfather on my mothers side, and my mom has had her ummm wild days too. I learned while I was still in high school that I had "alcoholic" in my genes. I would drink every weekend... it was very easy fo the alcohol to get it's claws in me. When I realized how easy it was for the drink to take control of my life I realized I had to forever consider myself an alcoholic. I can now go out for dinner and have a drink and be done with it, but I chose not to because it's not a part of my life now... but I from time to time remind myself that I have that gene in my system and it could control me. Food will forever be something I will have to watch. I will never be a skinny person in the ways of I can never just eat a dessert because I feel like it, I will never be able to go to an all you can eat buffet and have at it... I will always have to think about the healthier choice.

yoyonomoreinvegas 03-27-2008 05:41 PM

Oh, but fawn, you are a skinny person. Are your dreams obese? Are your ideas obese? I bet not. That's who you really are, your ideas and dreams. Sooo, that makes you a skinny person who happens to be carrying around some extra pounds. So, when you get to your goal weight you won't be a recovering obese person - you'll be a skinny person who just has to work a little harder to stay that way :hug: :D

Michelle125 03-27-2008 06:13 PM

"I will never be a skinny person in the ways of I can never just eat a dessert because I feel like it, I will never be able to go to an all you can eat buffet and have at it... I will always have to think about the healthier choice."

Funny you should say that. My mom is naturally 110lbs, 5'5'', and size 0-2. She has NEVER had a weight problem, and every time she got pregnant she capped out at 130lbs.

Well she naturally eats 1200 calories a day, and naturally doesn't like fatty foods. We kept a food diary for her one week, and found that her body naturally regulated itself each day. If she ate 1350 cals one day she naturally ate around 1100 the next day. She can't eat more than 1/2 a sandwich, and a few saltines with jam (like 5) will be her snack and hold her for hours until dinner. When she eats dessert she can't eat the entire thing (think a whole piece of cake).

Now, most skinny girls, if you REALLY look at what they eat, don't eat the way you described. It seems like they eat a lot of calories but they don't. There have been tons of studies published on this, and it's something I keep in mind. Their tummies are smaller... and I REALLY hope that someday I'll be totally full from 1/2 piece of cake, too! I see my mom do it all the time so I know it can be done.

I think it has something to do with the same philosophy that the new "I Can Make You Thin' show follows.

So anyway, when we are skinny we can't eat everything at a buffet... b/c like normally skinny girls we won't be able to!!:carrot::carrot:horray! :) lol

findingfawn 03-27-2008 07:40 PM

yoyo I love your way of putting it.

Tnank for all the input Michelle... your mom amazes me! I do know several people who are thin and do natrually eat better.. I also know some who can eat like a horse and not gain an ounce... they are the ones who make me want to puke! I will have a skinny body someday, I will just always have to watch every bite I put in my mouth.

bluex 03-27-2008 09:24 PM

Yeah, they actually have a name for us: reduced obese. It apparently is something that comes up in your blood work. I choose to think of it as a trophy! I am better than someone else my weight, I had to work for it.

PaulaM 03-27-2008 10:23 PM

I never heard of "reduced obese" before, why oh why did I google it. Now I'm depressed. Now we understand why it's so easy to regain lost weight I guess. Sigh.

kaplods 03-27-2008 11:20 PM

I can't imagine myself thin yet, but when I get there, it won't change the fact that having been obese most of my life has shaped who I am and how I see myself, others and the world. And the effects have not all been negative. Many of my best qualities and strengths are a direct result of the challenges obesity has presented. As a result, I don't know that I would undo them if I could. I hope I am not tempted to erase the "fat years" from memory, conversation, or the photos on the wall, because they're as much a part of me as thin will ever be. I'm not ashamed of that, and I hope I never will be, because the real shame would be not displaying photos and cherishing memories of my graduations, wedding day or other precious moments in my life, just because I was not as thin as I would have liked to be. Doing so would imply that nothing I did or do "counts" if it happens when I am still fat.

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