3 Fat Chicks on a Diet Weight Loss Community

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-   -   Kick in the butt... I need one... (https://www.3fatchicks.com/forum/100-lb-club/135161-kick-butt-i-need-one.html)

KimL1214 02-22-2008 05:56 PM

Kick in the butt... I need one...
I wake up every morning with an idea of how I will reach all of my goals, and I do... until I get home. It's almost like the moment I get home everything falls apart. My boyfriend wrecked his truck recently so his parents and I are his main source of transportation. He spends the day at his parents and often wants to stay a little longer once I get there. I never know if we are eating dinner at his parents or at home, so while I plan stuff, it often gets pushed to the next night. His mother is random with what she haves for dinner, and has no worries about weight as she weighs maybe 120lbs. soaking weight. Should I start keeping food at his parents so I don't have this problem? How do I avoid insulting his mother if I opt to eat food I brought rather than what she makes (both of his parents are always telling me to eat more food, it's like they don't want leftovers, so they get me to eat them). All I want to do when I go to his parents or go home is lie down... what motivators does everyone use to keep them moving?
Slightly frustrated right now... :?::?::?::?::?::?::?:

Lovely 02-22-2008 06:06 PM

Hey Kim - Why not tell your boy that you'll pick him up, but you just feel like going home right away? Since you're his ride... he can't really complain. If you explain to him that you're really looking forward to eating a nice, planned meal at the house for a few nights, but that you can plan to have dinner with his parents one night a week. It won't upset his 'rents, and you get to have most of your meals at home :)

Glory87 02-22-2008 06:11 PM

Tell your boyfriend he can get a ride home with you and eat the healthy dinner you're making, OR he can stay at his mom, eat dinner with his mom and get a ride home from his family.

Make yourself a priority for a change, you are worth it.

KimL1214 02-22-2008 06:53 PM

Not too bad... I guess...
Thank you ladies! I know I should put my foot down with him, but he is my biggest weakness, and while I have grown stronger about voicing my opinion and such, I still find myself worried whether or not I make him mad.
Dinner wasn't too bad. I had two small bowls of salad with no dressing and two very small hamburgers (smaller than McDonalds even). One of the two burgers I had on a bun and I had both with ketchup, mustard and onions. The only big downer was the croutons on my salad, couldn't help it. I only had ten between the two bowls, which is between only half and a third of how many croutons I would have had on a salad on a couple of months ago. I can't do the big changes, because I fall apart too quickly. I'm trying to make small gradual changes every week until I get to eating healthy 99% of the time and working out constantly!

Lovely 02-22-2008 08:16 PM

Baby steps will still get you to your goal :) Those are some great improvements. Controlling portions is a huge part of losing weight. So eating less croutons than you used to is a big step!

This is your health & your life. Don't worry too much about making him mad. Just like with kids...explain how the changes will happen, or explain the plans for the night, and then follow through with them. He'll be much more amicable to things if he knows the schedule ahead of time.

hafowler 02-22-2008 09:23 PM

You totally deserve credit for every small change you make, because they really do add up! Besides, pretty much every expert out there will tell you that quick, radical changes NEVER stick. Make small ones -- practice until they're habit, and then move on to the next.

As for the boyfriend and his family... well, that's something you'll have to work on, as far as assertiveness goes. I know it's tough to learn to politely say, "No, thanks, I'm good." ESPECIALLY if you really DO want it. But you're doing this for your health, and as others have said, you are WORTH THE EFFORT!

designerella 02-22-2008 09:35 PM

I dont know if you're a calorie counter- or someone just aware of what she eats... another option would be to make sure your eating is as spot on as possible during the day so that you know you won't really be blowing anything when you have normy portions of the other stuff.

My mom used to do that stuff on purpose, if she knew I was trying to eat healthy she'd be baking a cake that afternoon and cookies the next day- every small step you think your're taking is a HUGE one :)

They say it takes 21 days to make a habit, does that mean you have to be perfect? nah, perfection is imperfection in a pretty box lol Also you could always make lunch a quick walk around the block or something if you know you're going to be stuck at their house :)

Best wishes :)

KimL1214 02-23-2008 06:57 PM

Some progress...
So I made dinner for his family tonight. I had a small salad with a few small pieces of terriyaki chicken (I didn't need any dressing because the terriyaki marinade I used is AWESOME). I made a large pan of Shepherds pie and had a small helping as I was pretty full of salad and water. I watched my boyfriend literally fill his plate and remembered how I used to do the same and even go up for seconds.
I told my boyfriend that I would be working out this morning last night as well as a bunch of other random stuff I needed to do, and while he complained a little at first, he got over it. You ladies are right, I just need to let him know ahead of time what I have planned, and then if complains, oh well, I let him know ahead of time...
I haven't done a workout two days in a row yet, so tomorrow will be a first. I'm kind of excitede because I know I'll feel sore afterwards. I actually like feeling sore because it's a constant reminder that I did something productive. Is that weird?

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