......I keep up the pace, I raise the pace, I'm getting a good feeling now....the buzz is coming.....the music changes and it's faster and so I go a little faster (cause it feels good!)...I gotta bounce in my step.....and then all of a sudden it's perfection...everything's coming together...THEN BAM!
Mooooooommmmmmmy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!! All of a sudden I am needed for something...I ask him to wait (it's about a toy) I tell him I'll fix it later, that I need to work out and get exercise...because I can't fix it he wants a different toy from upstairs...in my FRUSTRATION (and labored breath) I tell him to go upstairs quickly and get the other one that he wants....his brother races him and gets it first, I am chasing after them, then he cries, no he bawls because his brother beat him there. We all go back downstairs, I am frustrated, angry...the PACE is gone, there is no turning back. I try talking with him, helping him, all the while...I am feeling guilty...if I wasn't in such a mess (ie. SO FAT) in the first place, I wouldn't need to use a treadmill while they are playing. It's such a vicious cycle.
He calms down...I retreat back the the treadmill, turning it back on...I have no idea how long I had worked out. I am starting from scratch...it hurts to have to get to that "high" feeling again. I am angry. Luckily I get the groove back.

Anyhow, I needed to tell that story out-loud. Life is not easy. Even getting on the treadmill is a struggle for someone like me who LOVES the feeling when I get into that "groove". I'm almost hard to get off the treadmill. I swear if the kids were in school already, I would be there much, much longer.
Thanks for listening,
Ginger




