Haha. Raunchy weight-loss joke.

You're on Page 1 of 2
Go to
  • Well, I think it's great. Warning: this joke is raunchy, and although it doesn't say anything outright, it makes allusions to sex, etc.

    Beside....we all need to lighten up a bit, laugh a little, doncha think?

    A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

    The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign round her neck.

    She introduces herself as a representative of the weight loss company.

    The sign reads: "If you can catch me, you can have me."

    Without a second thought, he takes off after her.

    A few miles later, huffing and puffing, he finally catches her and has his way with her.

    The same girl shows up for the next four days and the same thing happens.
    On the fifth day, he weighs himself and is delighted to find he has lost 10 lbs., as promised.

    He then calls the company and orders their 5-day/20 pound program.

    The next day there's a knock at the door and there stands the most stunning, beautiful, sexy woman he has ever seen in his life.

    She is wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes and a sign around her neck that reads: "If you catch me, you can have me."

    Well, he's out the door after her like a shot!

    This girl is in excellent shape and it takes him a while to catch her; but when he does, it's definitely worth every muscle cramp and wheeze, so for the next four days, the same routine happens.

    Much to his delight, on the fifth day he weighs himself only to discover that he has lost another 20 lbs. as promised.

    He decides to go for broke and calls the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program.

    "Are you sure?" asks the representative on the phone,
    "This is our most rigorous program."

    "Absolutely," he replies," I haven't felt this good in years."

    The next day there's a knock at the door; and when he opens it he finds this huge, muscular, 7 ft man standing there, wearing nothing but pink running shoes and a sign around his neck that read: "I'm Bruce. If I catch you, you're mine..."
  • OMG!!!!

    That is just what I needed!!
  • Good laugh, thanks!
  • ROFLMAO! That was good, and I will share it tonight for a few more good laughs.
  • LOL, that was great!
  • LOL...I seen this on MySpace the other day--too funny!
  • TOO Funny!!
  • all man, that was funny!
  • Oh! Now, that's funny!
  • I'm glad y'all are enjoying this joke.

    I was hesitant to put it up, seeing as how some people could get offended....but I'm glad people are taking it all in good fun!
  • Not that there's anything wrong with it....
  • i thought they were going to give him nothing but a pair of nike shoes and a sign that said "if you can catch me,you can have me".
  • Quote: Not that there's anything wrong with it....

    I know there's nothing really wrong with it, and as far as sexy jokes go, it's pretty tame....but some people just get touchy, ya know?

    ....then again, there's me who almost cried laughing when I first read it. Lol.
  • That's a Seinfeld reference. I'm the last one to get insulted. Talk about pot calling a kettle black.