So, this past weekend I was speaking to my fiancé about picking him up from the airport. (He’s out of the country.)
He mentioned wanting to go out and get some “American” food as soon as he gets home. So of course he’s talking about going out to a steakhouse and then ordering pizza.
I don’t blame him for wanting it, but I know myself and I would NOT be able to control my eating around both those types of foods in one weekend. I simply asked him “I’d love to go out for both, but I don’t think I could handle it, would you be able to pick the one you’d –really- like to eat this weekend, and then we could always go out another weekend down the road for the other?”
So he replies “Then let’s go to the steakhouse this weekend, and we’ll have pizza another time.” <3 <3 <3 <3 <3
I don’t stop to think often enough about how many sacrifices he makes for me. Now, while I normally wouldn’t call steak a sacrifice , I know he’s changed a lot of his food buying habits just to accommodate me. When we’re together for meals we’re cooking a lot more, and eating out much less. He frequently asks me “How many points is that?” when I’m about to mindless pop something in my mouth.
He loves me no matter what, and wants me to succeed to see me feel healthier & happier.
All these little things mean so much to me. He’s really got my back.
I know that we can all have trouble with family & friends when it comes to losing weight, we’ve all heard or been a part of those horror stories, but I also know there are some out there with great support to give. So….
I’m wondering, who in your circle of family or friends has really got your back? Who is there down in the trenches with you, wanting you to succeed so much that they’ve changed little (or big!) things to ease your way?
My 3 closest friends definitely are fantastic. We try and meet up for lunch around once a fortnight - just the 4 of us away from kids, partners etc. Lately we've been going to cafes and restaurants that offer far more healthier choices than previously. It's been done so subtly that I've only just picked up it's happening...
My DH totally has my back, as do my kids. My DH sort of annoys me, though, because ever since I've been trying hard and losing weight and exercising...he's started, too. He's really competitive and if I do 3.5 miles on the treadmill, he has to do 4. If I cook a healthy, low-fat meal, he's gotta outdo me the next night. I'm glad he's being supportive, but he just goes too far. For instance, he's cut out ALL sweets and treats from his diet; I haven't. There's no way I'm going to live the rest of my life without eating a cookie or a piece of chocolate so why try to pretend? Anyway, he makes me feel guilty if I have a cookie! And that pisses me off. I mean, is ONE cookie bad? Of course not.
My DH has back as well as he is the one who does all the cooking - he's healthy anyway ( weights & running & no junk food except chips way once in a while)
My husband and 3 children are wonderful, simply wonderful. They've really adapted quite nicely and thoroughly enjoy all the new dishes that I make and never, ever complain that I don't make some of their old "favorites". Haha, they know it would be pointless. I will NEVER make some dishes that I used to make. NEVER.
They were really, really good in the beginning about keeping junk out of our home, but as time went on and they saw I gained control, they're nowhere near as good about it as they used to be. Such is life. Nothing I can do about it.
So yes, they've definitely got my back - to a degree. They've been incredibly, INCREDIBLY supportive. But, and I've said this many times, when it comes down to it - no one's really and truly got my back, other then ME. No one's into this lifestyle quite the way that I am and no one's out there busting their butt, shopping, cooking, preparing, planning and then planning some more, and resisting temptation quite like - ME.
Though I appreciate all they do for me, and I have enjoyed this whole weight loss experience/lifestyle change immensely, I have found it to be a very, lonely and solo act.
Maybe had I started this venture when my kids were younger, it may have been a different story. But I doubt it.
My partner has my back. Of course, we did this whole weight loss thing together, and she has lost 90 lbs, so it is easier because we have the same goals. I'm sure it would be a very different situation if we weren't doing this together. I consider myself incredibly blessed to have someone who is just as dedicated and devoted to this lifestyle as I am, and that we can give eachother a little push if our motivation flags (we go to the gym together - if one of us wants to go, the other goes along. So if I'm having a "but I don't WANNA go to the gym" sort of day, I still end up going so long as she does. Of course, this can be bad if BOTH of us don't want to go...we feed off eachother. But it works out 90% of the time).
Last edited by mandalinn82; 10-30-2007 at 01:35 PM.
ChrissyBean... remember you are the ONLY one that is responsible for your weight loss. Maybe tell him gently that although you appreciate his support, he is not the boss of you (as my son would say). Hang in there. At least he is willing to eat the same food you do. And he COOKS. Dang I would kill for that. Sorry. I'm not trying to minimize your annoyance, just trying to accentuate the positive
My best friend and her boyfriend are always there for me. They're in the weight loss boat, too. My best friend has lost about 150 lb in the past few years and she looks fantastic. She's still trying to get to her ultimate goal, though. So whenever we're out somewhere or are hanging out at someone's house, they both discourage me from buying junk to nibble on and instead offer me a carrot
My mom tries to help me out, too. She likes to cook healthy things when I'm home from college, and she refuses to buy me junk food to send back with me. She's not actively trying to lose weight, but she did lose a good amount this year and is at her personal goal, so she usually makes food that will help her maintain her weight, which is good for me. Now my father, on the other hand, loves food and encourages me to bake him cookies and fudge. I have no problem doing that, but I always end up eating half the batch with him!
My DH has my back. He does all the cooking and makes sure he leaves the packages out so I can count the calories. I even caught him looking at the calories of things at the grocery store over the weekend!
I'm still pretty new to this so I don't know who's got my back yet. One of my closest friend just found out this morning that I'm losing. (It was a secret) The other friend still doesn't know and hasn't seen me for a while. Hubby? Who knows what he knows. I haven't told him anything but if he hasn't noticed the special food in the pantry, the smaller portions, me turning down donuts and my butt on the treadmill every single day...then he's really oblivious.
I'll just have to see who's stays with me along the way.
That's a great question....and a perplexing one too
I am not on plan right now, and am at my all time high weight. I get so tired of failing that I really don't share with anybody when I start over lately, because mostly..my start overs last about a day or two!
The last time I made it halfway to my goal, everybody had my back. My Mom, my size 0 older sister who's a health nut and weighs about 90 pounds...really.., had my back in her own way. My hubby and kids had my back too. My Mom would buy me a bouquet of flowers for every 5 pounds lost..it was wonderful. Heck, my Mother-in-Law offered to give me 100 dollars for every pound I lost!!! I'm not sure if that was having my back or not!
But, I feel I've failed them all so many times that I'm not sure I even want to mention it the next time I begin...which I feel is coming very soon.
Such a strange place I'm in right now...this time just at, or just before rock bottom!
I'm glad to see other people have nice IRL support systems ^^ Even if they aren't perfect (but what is? *shrug*).
ChrissyBean - Does your husband know you feel this way? Maybe he doesn't even realize he's doing it.
Robin - How great to have the whole family in on the support ^^ But, yes, I do understand what you mean about it being solo. In the end, the choice is ours, and while it's wonderful to have people around us, we're the ones going through it. So there is a difference.
Famograham - You did not fail anyone else. Because you were not losing weight for each & every person around you, you were losing the weight for yourself. I think it's just fabulous to have had that large of a circle of people cheering you on & trying to keep you motivated. If they're as wonderful as you make them sound they'll be happy for you for starting again & putting your health at the top of your list.
My DH totally has my back, as do my kids. My DH sort of annoys me, though, because ever since I've been trying hard and losing weight and exercising...he's started, too. He's really competitive and if I do 3.5 miles on the treadmill, he has to do 4. If I cook a healthy, low-fat meal, he's gotta outdo me the next night. I'm glad he's being supportive, but he just goes too far. For instance, he's cut out ALL sweets and treats from his diet; I haven't. There's no way I'm going to live the rest of my life without eating a cookie or a piece of chocolate so why try to pretend? Anyway, he makes me feel guilty if I have a cookie! And that pisses me off. I mean, is ONE cookie bad? Of course not.
Who's got your back?
, I know he’s changed a lot of his food buying habits just to accommodate me. When we’re together for meals we’re cooking a lot more, and eating out much less. He frequently asks me “How many points is that?” when I’m about to mindless pop something in my mouth.
I'm glad he's being supportive, but he just goes too far. For instance, he's cut out ALL sweets and treats from his diet; I haven't. There's no way I'm going to live the rest of my life without eating a cookie or a piece of chocolate so why try to pretend? Anyway, he makes me feel guilty if I have a cookie! And that pisses me off. I mean, is ONE cookie bad? Of course not. 
